Is 46 too old to have a 4th baby?

[jasper]

If you know me in real life,Please do not blow my cover. I am not pregnant, but wondering ...

Depends how you feel - this is an individual choice. Can you cope with the demands of a new baby on top of all your other dc needs? If you're fit, well and you want another baby (and you can still have them of course!) then age is no barrier IMHO

It is possible to conceive naturally at 46, but not common. It is also a scientific fact that chances of miscarriage are about 50%. And, I'm sure you know about the risks (to you and the child) that come with having a baby toward the end of your fertile years.

It is much more likely that you could conceive and carry a baby to term if you go through fertility treatment. But even then they would almost certainly suggest that you use an egg donor.

It is a big emotional decision to try for another child at any age, but at 46 it is perhaps an even bigger decision because of risks and possible/probable need for intervention.

Sorry if this sounds negative, but it is best to be realistic.

I don't think 46 is too old to have a baby if you are fit and healthy and can cope with the demands.

You might want to think about the later years when you will be in your 60's with a teenager and what that will entail physically and financially.

I had my first DC two months before my 45th birthday - conceived naturally - and have found it much easier than I had expected from the advice and comment during my pregnancy. However I didn't have other DCs to manage as well. Why not join us on the Feisty & Fabulous thread?

It would be too old for me. Remember to bear in mind that if the child goes to university you will still be supporting them financially way past retirement age.

Great replies, all.
I really do not know where these feelings have sprung from

Maybe the feelings come from realising that in a few more years you won't have the choice at all as your body will be in a different phase of life?

I think it is somehow comforting to know you could do something if you wanted, but having choice taken away is very difficult.

Best of luck as you contemplate what is best for you and your family.

Earlybird , I think you are spot on there

I'm sorry, but yes, I think it's too old. 50 for starting school, 57 for secondary school, 64 at A'levels and starting Uni.

My cousins are teenagers and have parents who are in their 60's. It's very hard on all of them.

Not too old at all. My friend has a 21 year old, and 18 year old, a 14 year old and a 2 year old and she is 47. She looks great, feels great and is having a great time.

My dad was 54 when I was born as there was a 26 year age difference betwen him and my mum. He lived to be 82 and was fit and active right up until the moment of his stroke from which he died. It was never a problem for me and I was always really proud of my parents for going against the tide and doing what they wanted beacuse they loved each other. They were married for 35 years.

Do what you think is right for you but do make sure you read up on any problems you might encounter as an older mum as in health issues for you and baby.

Sorry to disagree Broken, but your friend already has teenagers+ at 47. having a baby at 46 is very different.

My Dad is retiring now, and I'm 31. In my cousins eyes, their Dad will be retiring in 3 years adn they will be 17 and 15.

Fine, if that;s what you're prepared to deal with. I, for one, could not be dealing with teenage strops in my retirement years.

I don't think 46 is too old to be a new parent - not if your health is good and you feel you have the energy for it.
A male relative fathered a baby at 57 and he's loving parenthood. His other children are 18 and 20.
Think about the nitty gritty. The school run, year after year. The collecting/delivering him/her from playing with friends. All that staying in when you might like to go out, because a babysitter isn't available/affordable. Certain types of holidays you'll feel you just can't do.
The main thing, perhaps, is - how much support do you have? Most important of all -do you have a supportive partner? You won't enjoy being a mother at 46 or, probably, at any age - if ALL the responsibilities are down to you. But lots of children are brought up by their grandparents, so becoming a parent at 46 is no different. It's not so VERY unusual.

I don't think 46 is too old to be a new parent - not if your health is good and you feel you have the energy for it.
A male relative fathered a baby at 57 and he's loving parenthood. His other children are 18 and 20.
Think about the nitty gritty. The school run, year after year. The collecting/delivering him/her from playing with friends. All that staying in when you might like to go out, because a babysitter isn't available/affordable. Certain types of holidays you'll feel you just can't do.
The main thing, perhaps, is - how much support do you have? Most important of all -do you have a supportive partner? You won't enjoy being a mother at 46 or, probably, at any age - if ALL the responsibilities are down to you. But lots of children are brought up by their grandparents, so becoming a parent at 46 is no different. It's not so VERY unusual.

I think it's too old. If it was your first, fair enough you could say, you'd keep up the energy levels somehow, you'd be so over the moon etc. But the 4th? I can only imagine how tiring it must be.

My thoughts aren't on how you could cope with a 4th at that age. It would be about how you (and your family) would cope with a miscarriage as it is a very real possibility.
I would rather end on the "high" on a 3rd child, personally.

My thoughts aren't on how you could cope with a 4th at that age. It would be about how you (and your family) would cope with a miscarriage as it is a very real possibility.
I would rather end on the "high" on a 3rd child, personally.

I have to say that I do think that it might be, with the stresses and strains that 9 months of pregnancy, not to mention the birth puts upon your body i really do think that it might just be too much. Three is enough for me anyway!

Having had my thrid at the age of 42 I can honestly say that I do not want anymore. This is despite initially wanting 4. I have found it very tiring to do night feeds etc and although DC3 is a delight and I wouldn't be without him. The thought of another one now at age of 44 is scary.

Not only that but I had a couple of very sad losses prior to DC3 being born. TBH I am not strong enough to cope with the worry of losing anymore babies.

I think you need to be very realistic about the likelihood of a)conceiving b)miscarriage c)down's syndrome. Of course, people do have babies with no problem at this age, but the risk of miscarriage in particular is really very high.

I think the other considerations are pretty personal really. The main one being the need to keep earning for such a long time...!

If I'm not mistaken, although I am tired, the OP posed this question in Oct 2009, and the thread has been resurrected.

Hopefully she made a decision she was happy with.

I will be turning 46 this year and have been on the fence about conceiving a 4th child. Back story, we had a difficult time getting pregnant due to my endometriosis. We finally had our first child via IVF at the age of 40. Then we had twins (boy&girl) at age of 42. I was wiped out w the twins and had a severe umbilical hernia which I was told by my dr I need to get fixed before I ended up in an emergency room. I opted to get full muscle repair w no mesh. I was 44. At the time I couldn't think of having a fourth. Now my oldest is about to start K, and the twins the next year. We have 1 embryo left in storage.

I have this immense guilt about leaving it in storage and that I should attempt to go through and try having this baby. He has already been tested and should be free of chromosome defects which would lead to a MC or birth defects. It would just be a matter of it surviving the thaw and implanting. But I go back and forth on can I handle a 4th at 47 (assuming i start the process this year and give birth next year)? We would be going back to square 1. My husband doesn’t want to give the embryo up for adoption but I don’t want to destroy it either. Hence my dilemma. Anyone w similar situation or thoughts?