TTC#1 for 12 months now, I'm ONLY 36 aarrgghhh

[cupcakekaty]

Its been a long 12 months, I think its time I lifted my head out of the sand and started seriously thinking about this ttc lark in a mature way
According to my regular as clockwork 28 day cycle, today is Day 14 and this is my first month of trying ovulation tests. Think they are all broken, cos so far no positive. Do I have a problem? I dont want to be prodded and poked by student doctors just yet, I need to get my head around the fact that there IS obviously a problem. DH already has a child so he's obviously not firing blanks, therefore it MUST be me.
I need a plan? Can anyone help me pleeeeeeeeeease? I really want our baby NOW.

There is nothing wrong with nipping off to the GP. They'll do blood tests first to check you're ovulating which should put your mind at rest.

Those ovulation tester things are not reliable you know. Plus, you may not ovulate when you think. I ovulate on day 11 for example and by day 14 there's feck all chance I could conceive.

While I think you should go to the GP for your own peace of mind, remember you only ever have a 25% of conception if you're a young, healthy couple trying at the exact right time in the right position and doing everything 'right'. It took me 14 months and a miscarriage at age 26 to get pg. Nowt wrong with me or dh and the gp I saw said getting pg is not that easy and in most other countries they wouldn't even think of assuming there was an issue until 2 years of trying with no pregnancy.

I think at 36 with 12 months of no pregnancy though you should perhaps nip along to your gp. Have you read Taking Charge Of Your Fertility? I cannot recommend it enough.

You do need to get your head out of the sand asap because it may make the difference between having a child and not having one.

I would certainly seek medical advice now in your circumstances. General consensus seems to be that gynaes like to see women over the age of 35 after 6 months of ttc without success.

You won't be prodded about by student docs necessarily; you would be under the care of a consultant gynae and his team at the hospital's subfertility unit.

It may be that either one or both of you are subfertile (either scenario is equally possible) but until you are both tested you will not know with any degree of certainty.

It unfortunately does not follow that there would not be a male factor problem because your DH already has a child. Both of you should be tested and in tandem; it is little point testing you solely only to later discover there is a male factor problem preventing conception.

Do not use OPK's and the like; they are not reliable at best, besides which you are beyond that initial stage now. You both need proper investigative tests done.

Yep I agree with above - get to a doctor.

They will do basic tests on you and refer you on.

You may not have any problems - it could be just taking a while for you to conceive, and sometimes it can for no apparent reason. But if you or your DH have problems it's best to get seen and in the system asap.

And don't assume it's you with a problem as it could be your DHs problem. Me and DH have a child that was conceived very easily - we are now having problems TTC no 2 and DHs sperm count and morphology came back as very low. So maybe we were just very lucky with DD, or maybe things can change over time.

BTW I wouldn't bother with ovulation tests, they are notoriously unreliable. If you're having sex often enough (every 2 or 3 days), you won't need them anyway.

Good luck

A visit to your GP should be your first step, the inital tests are non-invasive (blood tests and the like - although DH may also need to do a ahem sample), so don't worry too much about being prodded around at the mo.

Good Luck

i'm sure the gp is v. sensible advice, but i would say that i started ttc at your age and started off with thermometers to try and work out when i was ovulating. i did this for about a year and started to think that something was up. then i came across the ovulation tests. i started using these and conceived in the 2nd month of using them. used them again for my 2nd child and fell preg straight away. i think they claim a high level of accuracy and they certainly worked for me. i am now ttc no.3 and due to concerns about my age and whether i was still ovulating (my mother had an early menopause, so i am told i should expect the same) i just bought a job lot of them and started testing almost as soon as my period had finished. i was surprised to find that i was ovulating very early on in my cycle - something i'd have missed if i hadn't started testing so early and had followed the advise about when to start testing for the length of my cycle.

so, while i'd agree that getting expert assistance is almost certainly a great idea, you shouldn't automatically assume that something's up. good luck!!

Booboobunny is right, there are lots of things you can do yourself to improve your chances of success, but I really would recommend having that initial chat with your GP. Not that I think there's anything wrong with either of you - but because the NHS moves very slowly.
You can carry on trying as normal, and fingers crossed will soon be pregnanct. But if things don't go to plan at least you'll be ahead of the game in terms of your position on waiting lists etc.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but female fertility kind of drops off a cliff at about 38 years - so whatever you can do to chivvy things a long a bit has got to be good IMO.

I'd also suggest taking a look at the forums on the Fertility Friends website - lots of excellent, very spcific information and support.

Taking Charge Of Your Fertility is an excellent way of checking if you are ovulating. I quickly found while TTC DS1 that I wasn't using the system (following Mirena removal) and went for blood tests to confirm it. On month 7 of trying according to my own tests I ovulated, even though the docs lost my blood test (grr), but clearly I did as 9 months later the proof was impossible to ignore

I've just had Mirena # 2 removed a few days ago and haven't started temp checking yet, but am checking cervical fluids as it's really quick and easy to see if my cycles are going to start up at least, then I will temp check after 1st AF, assuming I don't C before that. You never know.

thanks all for your advice. I am going to make an appt to see my gp, nothing to lose after all. I'm obviously concerned because i'm not getting any younger. I just thought it would have happened by now. I'm feeling more positive now I have a plan and will try the temping. The more I read and google, the more problems I think I'm facing. So far I've diagnosed myself with PCOS, no ovulation, luteal phase defect, barren old witch...
aargghhh and my sanity is slowly disappearing!

Don't google anything medical, ever, in any circumstances. .

HI im 36 ttc to conceive charting for 11 months have PCOS and nothing!.bl;oods show low progesterone

I second Were Google is NOT your TTC friend

Hi Cupcakekaty
I'm the same age as you and have been ttc for 6 months. Me and DH went to the doc yesterday and she is sending me for two blood tests and a pelvic ultrasound scan and DH has to give a sample of his swimmers. She was really helpful and I feel much more relaxed now.
Worst thing is that DH's sample has to be after 3 days of abstinence!

Hello. I too am about the same age, 37, and have been TTCing for just over 12 months. It'll be #1 for both of us.
We went to the GP about 6 months ago and I was referred for SA and blood tests. All this has lead to my first hospital appointment at the fertility clinic next week.
I really would get the ball rolling as soon as you can . As I said it has taken about 6 months to get to this point from my initial GP appointment.

I have been temping for about 4 cycles now, and using OPKs but it took me a couple of months to get them working for me.
Many women swear by the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor as it's much less ambiguous.

I strongly recommend charting as it will give you an idea of your cycle, if you are having enough sex and I find it gives me a sense of control.
I use Fertility Friend and I find it helps keep me sane if nothing else.