nearly forty and giving up hope

[earoma]

hi everyone new to all this but been ttc for a year now with no success this month was looking positive good day 3 results ovulation charted on bbt graph day 21 prog result of 49 temp remains high from ovulation apart from a small dip on day 20 but did a test today and got a BFN i'm becoming very disheartened and confused have no idea what my body's doing and feel like giving up help please

Hi there. I'm sorry to hear this Have you spoken to your GP? I hope you don't take this badly, but at nearly 40 and having tried for a year, I'd be exploring IVF if I were you

had my first meeting at the fertility clinic at the start of this month and have to go for a HSG as soon as i start men this month but been charting for a while now and this was the first month that looked good my partners had all his checks so i know its my problem but really thought we'd cracked it this month

Any test result done over six months ago should be discounted; you should both have up to date test results.

Would not bother with the temp charting now; its not very helpful to you. You can also have a temp rise in the second half of the cycle when an egg has not been shed so charting is not infallible.

What are your hormone levels like, have these been checked thoroughly?.

HSG is not usually done whilst menstruating.

other half had his tests done again two months ago and everything still ok with him this month my FSH WAS 7.1 oes was 190 on day three this month and day 21 prog was 49 i know my HSG has to been done before day 10 of a new cycle to give time for bleeding to stop sorry that was my fault for not explaining properly

AF started today even though i knew it wwould still feeling really low there's always that glimmer of hope until it arrives my poor DP doesn't know what to do or say for the best bless him

hey hun

just wanted to say dont give up..im 41 and fell last year at 40 and again this year at 41..i lost both babies and we are now finding out why ...i feel already its my fault and y eggs not good enough ..but never say never..i have close friends who had babies late 30s earli 40s
all the best xx

I've had my dds at 41 and 43.Don't give up hope,have some accupunture as I think that really helps.

Big hugs to you, I ttc for two years before DS arrived after second go at IVF.
I'll keep everything crossed for you

Hey,

It took us 10 months to conceive our DS, and I was 24 at the time. DH is 20 years older than me, so do the maths. My midwife friend tells me that it takes the average person 10 months to conceive.

Don't give up hope.

I read some interesting research study once that said that most 40 year olds will get pregnant within two years (ones that are trying to, obviously); you must expect it to take longer. That said, if there IS a problem you don't have time on your side, so I'm glad you are seeking medical help.

It is really stressful ttc at 40, when every month feels like it can be the loss of your last good egg. So you really do have my sympathy. But don't give up yet: you won't forgive yourself in 5 years time if you don't really give it your best shot now.

For what it's worth, I gave birth at 41.

Took me three months of trying at 40 (baby born at 41) and 20 minutes at 42 (baby born at 43),so it can happen quickly too. My friend took about 9-12m at 40.

earoma sounds a VERY silly question but are you getting enough sex!? If you are charting does that mean you are trying to have sex on days when you think it is right? I have read books by Zita West and found her to be very helpful. Her advice is to have sex every two days from about day 8 (check her book for advice, available at libraries) and so you are covered during the time when the egg is released. If you do it too often, like loads of times a day, it is not good, but if you save it up for too long, it is not good either! Also, if you don't mind, do it when DH/DP feels like it as that is when the sperm will be stronger.

I know it is only language but it is not just your problem, you are in it together, it is about working it out and doing it together and so even if the medical problem is to do with your eggs/womb or whatever, it is something you need to work through together.

Anyway, I wish you all the luck in the world. We conceived at 39 with our second attempt at IUI.

We conceived within 3 mths at 37yrs and 39yrs
giving birth at 40. My 39 yr old friend took over a yr and became very downhearted about it, she has a baby girl now, it will happen when you least expect it, hang in there, the best of luck.

hi my first time online i am with my sil who informed me about this site.

i am 37 this month no babies yet and i really want to fall pregnant can you advise?

this is not my talk name i will be on next week as just registered and cant access my email my name is mstopbilling.

At 37 you have a really good chance of getting pregnant without any problems.Have regular sex in the run up to ovulation (which is roughly 14 days before your period),and relax about the whole thing.If you aren't pregnant in 6m then start by getting your partner's sperm checked and go from there,but at your age you shouldn't find it too hard and will most probably be pregnant within a year.Good luck!

I?ve just turned 40 this month and have one DD aged 15 months. She was conceived the first time we actively tried. Then I had a MMC in January, again conceived very quickly after first time trying. We have been TTC baby no.2 since March and so far nothing. All seems to be working ok; I ovulate regularly and have had many ultra sounds which show that all looks good each month.

My gyne is not helping matters though. He keeps telling me it's most probably my 'ovarian reserve diminishing' as I am 40 and that I should do IVF as it's most likely the only way I can try to get pregnant. He said all this after I had my FSH, LH, Oestrogen and AMH tested. I've been to see a homeopath too for a second opinion as the gyne made me feel so low and depressed. The homeopath said my blood tests results are 'perfectly normal' for my age and really nothing to start worrying about. He did say that I am too stressed (very hard not to be when gyne keeps telling me my eggs are nearly past it!). I am now about to start acupuncture and am on some anti-stress homeo tablets.

It's all sooooo confusing as every day I now torment myself with wondering what to do for the best. There is one half of me saying we should just do IVF straight away as time is running out (although it's so massively expensive and the thought makes me shudder) and the other half is saying stop stressing and keep trying naturally for a bit. I am a person that believes in my self and my body and until the gyne started telling me how rubbish my blood tests results were I was really quite upbeat and positive!

I've gained a lot of positivity from reading these posts so thank you. It's just a relief to feel not alone in this and to be able to share these feelings of what has become sheer panic.