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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Really early miscarriage - what next?

40 replies

Antiquarian · 30/08/2009 08:36

Hello! I am having a really early miscarriage, I'm about five weeks pregnant. I'm really disappointed obviously.

But I just wondered, do I need to go to the doctor this week or do I just carry on as normal? Also, when can I start trying again?

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

DollyDiamond · 01/09/2009 12:52

Hi All, particularly Antiquarian. I'm really sorry for everyone who has had a mc as I'm mid way through one now and couldn't feel any more s**t.

I feel lucky that my dh has been so fantastic, the nurses I saw were amazing and I have a dd (15 months old) to make things "easier", but I really can't imagine trying again, ever? Having gone from being borderline obsessed with wanting to have another baby to not being able to even think about it without feeling sick, I'm not sure if it's hormones, a defence mechanism or what?

I know everyone says that it just happens and is no-one/nothing's fault, but I can't get it out of my head that I must have done something wrong .

I admire all of you who've gotten back on it (as it were) - please can you tell me if you ever felt this way and if so, what did you do to overcome it?

lal123 · 01/09/2009 13:05

Dolly - after my first mc folk on here really helped, and I was keen to get pregnant as soon as possible. After my second it took a long time to build up the courage to try to get pregnant again. In the end my 3rd preg was a total surprise to me and DP.

You need to remember that you are no more likely to have a mc than anyone else just because you've already had one - if that makes sense! Also - it is true that it is extremely unlikely that anything you did or didn't do contributed towards your mc - try to be easy on yourself.

take care

lal

anniemac · 01/09/2009 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DollyDiamond · 01/09/2009 13:28

Thanks Lal and Annie, I know what you say makes sense, but you know the niggle that won't go away?

I had a pv scan yesterday and was distraught at seeing what looked like a mini version of my daughter's scan at 12 weeks gestation, but without the beautiful heart beat. I'm terrified that what the nurse said will come true - ie that I could see the sac and embryo to the point where I nearly be sick everytime I need to go to the loo. I know that "nature taking it's course" ie this is better than the surgery option, but not much makes sense right now.

Thanks for the info on the hyper-fertility, that's really interesting. My hubby is keen to try again when I'm ready, which in some ways makes me feel better, I guess.

Original poster

Antiquarian · 01/09/2009 13:38

Congratulations Anniemac (and Lal), commiserations to you fellow m/c sufferors!

Dolly, I feel the same about thinking it was possibly my fault. But everything I read says that there's nothing you can do, if it's going to happen.

My DH has been supportive on the whole - but I don't think it's quite the same for men, somehow. I told him yesterday that if the pregnancy had lasted, I wouldn't have qualified for part of the statutory maternity pay and he got a little gleam in his eye so then I gave the poor thing a hard time for thinking that money was more important than a baby. In fact, this has not been a good weekend for DH as nothing he said was right!

I think I'm definitely going to go for it again this month if possibl. What I'm having now is no different really from an ordinary period so I'm really hoping that I will ovulate as normal. It does seem reading on here that quite a few people have managed to conceive very soon after a m/c.

GOOD LUCK everybody!

OP posts:

eth37 · 02/09/2009 10:36

Just wanted to say how sorry I am, antiquarian - I remember feeling very sad when I had a chemical pregnancy at just under 5 weeks in Feb this year. I too didn't wait, fell pregnant 2 weeks after bleeding began, and am now 29 weeks pregnant. I really, really do believe you are much more fertile afterwards so I would say to go for it. As others have said, the only advantage for waiting is for the Drs and I don't think early miscarriages mess too much with cycle length anyway. Good luck

Original poster

Antiquarian · 02/09/2009 19:16

Thanks eth37, that's encouraging, and massive congratulations to you. Feeling a bit better now but I SO want to be pregnant. I'm clinging on to the idea that I might just be extra fertile now, but also trying not to get my hopes up too much for this month.

OP posts:

roundabout1 · 03/09/2009 22:40

Hi Antiquarian - I have had an early miscarriage this week too. I didn't do a preg test til tues night to know for sure & it was positive, was so excited & then by wed lunchtime I was bleeding. I'm surprised by how sad I feel - I mean I only knew for definite for less than a day yet it still hurts so much. dp has just injured his back too so don't think trying again to concenice will be happening soo

tigerbear · 03/09/2009 23:02

Roundabout, exactly the same thing has happened to me this week - did test late Tuesday and another yesterday, both positive, but have been bleeding since Tuesday evening. Saw doctor yesterday who said it was probably an early mc or a chemical pregnancy. I totally agree, even though we only knew for such a short time, it doesn't stop us feeling devastated.

Original poster

Antiquarian · 04/09/2009 10:25

So sorry to hear that roundabout and tigerbear. It's horrible isn't it. It's hard to get your head round being so happy to get that BFP then suddenly not being pregnant. I hope you are feeling OK and really good luck to you for next cycle(s).

OP posts:

tigerbear · 04/09/2009 15:56

Hi Antiquarian, good luck to you too. It really helps to come to talk to people here on MN doesn't it? I don't know what I would have done if all of the kind people on MN hadn't been here over the past few days.

mumsie123 · 20/03/2010 17:51

Hi everyone, i know this is an old thread but i think im going through the same thing :-( found out i was pregnant Wednesday and started bleeding last night, red blood and today lots of brown, which is exactly how my period starts. got period pains.

i feel really emotional and just needed someomne to talk to that has been through it

barrenbrook · 20/03/2010 18:07

Mumsie123 sorry to hear you are going through a shitty time at the moment, I've recently been through the same thing as you, sending you a big hug. Come and join us here . Lots of us going through and have been through the very same thing so lots of comfort to be had. x

mumsie123 · 20/03/2010 18:33

Thank you, i have just posted on there now, even though i would hate to think of anyone going through anything like this it's comforting to talk to people who are going through the same :-)

mumsie123 · 22/03/2010 17:39

has anyone recently had a early MC?

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