when is the right time...?

[exasperatedmum]

Not sure if here is the right place to ask but...

Have a dd, will be three in November, and a six month old ds. We always planned to have four children, and my thoughts have already turned to ttc #3... but... I'm really struggling emotionally. I find my toddler really hard work - tantrums, demanding my attention etc, and ds has reflux which has been very trying. I'm really tired (bf - still up several times a night to feed ds) and don't feel like I'm particularly 'enjoying' parenting at the moment. But, if I do want to have more, I'm 34 now and although I know people can have children way past 40, given that I have thus far had difficult pregnancies, I don't want to leave it too late, and also don't want to have too big a gap between the oldest and youngest. So, do I listen to my body which seems to want another baby, or my head which seems to be saying 'never again!'?? Any experiences of this? Is my 6-month-old more likely to adapt to any siblings better than my toddler did?

I can't really help as I am currently 27weeks pregnant with DC1 but I have read a bit about age gaps, and read that under 2s generally deal a lot better with the arrival of a sibling than over-2s. Hence why we are, in theory, going to TTC DC2 when DC1 will be around 6 months, in the hope that a sibling will arrive before he/she is two! Also, I would rather get it 'over' with (the whole pregnancy thing) and I reckon the thought of going back to BF-ing/nappies etc once older chn are older would not be appealing! Hope that makes sense and good luck with what you decide!

exasperatedmum - if you do ttc, your toddler will be coming out of the tantrum phase by the time the baby is born and dc2 will have grown out of the reflux. So you won't have the same probs you are having now (although I guess dc2 will be heading for tantrums of his own...)

I think your situation will be very different in 9 months, do you think your head is saying never again because this is a particularly exhausting time?