Rant alert. Give me perspective. . . . TTC stress.

[Momdeguerre]

So, I need some perspective... . name changer to prevent Dh from identifying me.

So, we have been TTC number 2 for 7 months. Number 1 just happened the first month we tried. I know that 7 months is not long but I am a bit of a planner and a terrible worrier and I have to admit that I am concerned. DH knows this and he has been fab.

We are both excited about TTC another DC - DH been very, very keen but we both agreed that we would try to be relaxed about TTC. No temping, no OPKs etc just dtd regularly and prticularly around the time I ov. This can be tricky - we both work full time on different shift patterns (we work for an emergency service) which means that in order to manage our childcare it is common for him to be going out as I come in and vice versa.

Anyway, this month my ov has fallen at a time when we really are not seeing each other much - we only had a two hour window tonight. Instead of coming home tonight DH went for a few drinks after work and rolled up two minutes before I left for work.

I was upset, he knew today was THE day for this month. He says I am worrying too much and that we should be more relaxed about the whole thing. I have now stomped into work cursing him and, althoug I know he is right, I just can't feel relaxed. I feel angry and upset.

Its not like I don't ever let him out - we both manage social lives too - I don't think it was unreasonable to expect him to come home for sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give me some perspecive and a metaphorical kick up the arse. I know that this is nothing in the grand scheme of things but I am still moping.

[itchyandscratchy]

I do sympathise, I've been there. But I would warn you that after 2 years of ttc after having dd1 (she only took 3 months), and it being put down to 'unexplained secondary infertility', we finally got pregnant just before our 1st appointment for IVF. I am now absolutely convinced that steess was our only barrier to conceiving.

When we got to the seond year of trying, dh actually wanted to give up because he was so scared we would split up. Sex was a chore; I was constantly hyper thinking about when I'd be ovulating next and driving myself mad looking for phantom symptoms every month. It was awful.

It's really hard trying to 'relax' whilst you are actually acutely conscious of your cycle in minute detail and you even stop giving blow jobs because it's a waste of good sperm... (sorry if TMI but I'm not joking either - I think I was a bit loopy!) But I would really really advise that you focus on your life as a family the way it is now, your next holiday, your jobs, decorating the house, etc. and stop wishing your life away on when you may or may not get pregnant. HTH. Good luck!

[emmacharlotte]

Hi there Momdeguerre,

Sorry to hear about your worries, it must feel rubbish. Tbh, you admitted yourself that you are a bit of a worrier... he obv isn't as he's telling you to chill. Also, you said you'd both agreed to be relaxed about this one- which means you agreed too but now you're telling him off :P

At the same time I can understand your frustration, you must be counting the days. When you get a chance, I'd talk to him and explain how much you are worrying and that it upsets you when he isn't being sympathetic.

I hope it goes ok chick xxxx

P.s. 7 months isn't that long, don't worry too much