desperate 4 a baby!

[kirby]

was/ has anyone ever been desperate for a baby? xx

Kirby - do you ever get any work done at college?? Only kidding.

I have been desperate for a baby... then had one! I am desperate for one again, but there is nothing physically wrong that I can't have one. It's just the financial situation and I had PND. These are the reasons we are going to wait until early next year so ds is 3 when the baby would be born.

However, after a wee accident with the pill (don't know if you've read that thread) i may be pg now!!!! >shake

Hi Kirby,

I have never felt the strong and fuzzy maternal urge itself bt always knew deep down that having a baby was the most important thing I wanted to have done in my life (more important than promotions etc). I never expected to be having my first baby in my thirties but we ended up waiting that long (time flies) due ti dh's needing to keep moving with job.

I never desperately wanted kids until I had my ds. Now I desperately want another two but that may change after the next one. Mind you I'm not pregnant with the next one yet so at the moment the answer is YES. I think I felt just like Squib.

Mum2Toby - Keep me posted I want to hear if you are or aren't.

After ttc to conceive for a while I did start to become very desperate. It took us over a year to conceive, then we had a mc at 7 weeks. It then took over a year again to conceive once more. In this time I was often desperate, upset, stressed, etc. I always knew I wanted children but didn't realise how much until I couldn't produce one on trying. My friends alll seemed to get pregnant straight away or by 'accident'. It was all worthwhile though. We now a beautiful daughter, aged 12 months who is much more precious than we could have ever imagined possible.

OK Kirby, enough 'political correctness' it has to be said...why on earth, at the tender age of sixteen (yes you are still a child Kirby), with your whole life ahead of you, do you desperately want a baby so much? what's the rush? don't you want to explore the world at all???

what can you teach your baby about life when you haven't even lived it yourself?

Do you really appreciate that there is a downside to having children?

I'd really like to know

BTW..I used a smiley, because there wasn't one to represent despair!!

I didn't realise you are sixteen Kirby! Did you plan your baby? I don't even remember being sixteen - I'm 29!

I think it is perfectly normal and natural to have a child at 16, however I don't think it is normal to be planning a child at 16. My best friend had her first child at this age and also got married, she is still married, has 3 kids and is the most wonderful mother! But she did not plan her first child. At 16 I didn't really know who I was as a person, I had the potential to make many, many mistakes which looking back on now, would have been disasterous! For instance at 17 I thought I was in love with a 29 year old, luckily for me he was not the kind of man to take advantage, but if he had I would have happily gone along with it. Now, I wonder what I ever saw in him!
Kirby, you will never, ever regret having this baby, but I do hope that you didn't plan it this way!

Yes I agree. It will be tough as all new babies are. I used to think it was romantic at 16 to have a baby - how naive I was! But I do know a couple of young mothers who were just as competent at 16. Some people are just meant to be Mums!! I'had mine at 26 and didn't have a clue! You learn whatever age you are that a newborn will change your life forever!! You learn to be the most multi skilled person in the world!!

Rhubarb, yes Kirby did plan and try for this baby. That's what saddens me so much, that a 16 year old can believe that a baby will make her life better and that its all going to be hunky-dory.

I know the UK has one of the highest teenage preganancy rates in the world, but its one thing having a baby by accident and quite another to plan it

Kirby, I am sad that you tried for this baby at your young age. If I could list all the things I have done and achieved between 16 and 26 - well!! Although my biggest ever achievement was actually having a baby!! Why did you feel such a strong urge to plan a baby? Are you still there today, I know you're at college so you must be reading these messages. There is a thread in PREGNANCY about being a Mum under 20. Have a look. You'll get lots of advice from young Mums and talk about your feelings, experiences and worries. Did the websites help that I told you about?
Your Pal Quackers!!

It isn't a subject I feel hugely about, tbh, as different things suit different people but there was an article in the Observer last weekend about younger/older mums and it had a lot of positive things to say about younger mums. It doesn't all have to be doom and gloom. :-)
www.observer.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,935502,00.html

It won't make a link, so you'll have to copy and paste - sorry.

I've also read that in the US more and more younger women are choosing to have babies earlier so they can then get on with an uninterrupted career once the children are older.

its was me who had a sprog at 16 as rhuby mentioned below - and let me tell you girl its down hill from there.

i hope you have rich parents or a trust fund or you are going to be poor for many many years.

how are you going to support this child? are you going to claim benefits? what does your child have to look forward to in its life.

i have had to work hard not to be on a council estate i had to study for ten years..ten years at night school and college and university. and work part time at the same time and raise children

i look back i didnt have the clubbing experiences - i cant remenisce about the good lookin guys and the shag fests - i should have had when i was 16/17
i cant even tell you about my drug experiences - cos i didnt have any - i couldnt affort to spend a tenner on a tab and now am older and wiser - my memories are all full of kids - but i could have had other memories too - about the daft things i did when i was a teen.

i can say hand on heart the daftest thing i did wasto be preggers at 16 have a kid at 17.

think
you have your child for the rest of your life - you have on person which depends on you for everything and emotional and heart and soul stuff for advice and for money until he/she is at least 18

18

thats older than you are now.

having a child is easy most women can do it - its nothing special it doesnt make you special.

what makes you special are things which make yourself proud of you

if your highest ambition at 16 is to have a baby then i truly am sorry for you - life has so muchto offer - and now i am 30 and wish i had the stupidity of youth to taste life wrecklessly and with avengence

if you are already having a kid - good luck - dont have any more - you will be in poverty as will your children for the rest of your life - save a rich fella or parents or you working harder than you have ever worked to get yourself out of it

youth is wasted on the young

Congratulations Kirby! This will be the most important thing that you will ever have to do. I understand the desperation that you are talking about for love and to be needed but let me tell you that having a baby is not the way to do it. But you will be happy to know that having a baby can completely change for the better. As soon as my son was born I had goals and aspirations that I never had before. Congratulations, enjoy your baby but make sure you have a back up plan apart from winning the lottery. I suggest the Open University or night school. You can still achieve anything that you want to.

LOL Custy
I could not put it any better. I was preggas at 16. I had 2 dd's before 18. I have never regretted them only wished that they had come along a LOT later in my life.
Kirby think about it as a baby is for life.

Custy ... good post ... have even more respect for you now than before ...
I am 33 and if I had had a baby at 16 I would have a 17 year old now ... I can't get my head around that!
Kirby ... if you are pregnant ... I think you will be a great mum and do the best for your child ... but if you are not you have time to rethink this. Listen to Custy ...
I AM desperate for a baby ... but I am 33 and don't want to be in my 40s and still have small children ... you have your whole life ahead of you ...
We will be here for you if you need us ... so don't think we are being horrible to you ... just trying to be sensible ...
Thinking of you XXG

I have been desperate for another baby for 3 years. When my dd was 3 I decided that I wanted to have another baby, used to want 4 but will settle for 2, but my dh was very against it.
However he has now changed his mind and we are going to be ttc at the beginning of July. He says that he only wants to have one more child and that will be it no more after that. Watch me have twins, lol

Kirby is already pregnant, though very early on. So she cannot change her mind. However Kirby, read this advice anyway, it will prepare you for the road ahead. I hope everything works out for you and that you get lots of support. Keep in touch with Mumsnet, as you're bound to have loads of questions once the baby is here.

Hi everyone i am very broody at the moment and just dont know whether to try for a baby now.The thing is i already have 4.They are 15,14,11 and 6.Im just so afraid of what others will think of me.(especially my family).My dh is quite happy with what we have, but will try again if thats what i rally want.Is there anyone out there who can give me some advice.We have the space,i do not work, please help what shall i do..

If you have the time and the money and your dh is willing then why not - why should what other people think be of any concern to you? It would be a different matter IMO if you couldn't support a family of this size but if it's what you want then go for it. I've got 4 children and am hoping to make it 5 in the not to distant future - I've always liked the idea of 5 and would have no intention of making it any more (wouldn't be able to fit any more in the car!)

exactly wouldnt want to have to drive a mini bus around,how old are your children judetheobscure?And thanks for the advice,youve made me feel better but would still welcome anyone elses point of view.

I come from a family of 6, my dh from a family of 7. Back then it was uncommon to only have 1 or 2 children, large families were the norm. Stuff what anyone else says, do what you want to do. Coming from a large family is lovely, I wouldn't change it for the world!