tetleytea (and others) if your man is worred about this issue then I do urge you to show him this post.
I have been through the whole IVF thing with DW and before the NHS would contemplate any sort of IVF or fertility treatment or tests on DW they insisted on a sperm tests for me plus many more samples after that.
Blokes are very worried about this issue for all sorts of reasons. Often fear of the unknown, embarrasment and worrying about what happens if they 'fail' the test.
So here goes an older man's guide to what it is was really like for me. Some of it was funny some of it frightening and some of it upsetting. What I am going to say is not rude or crude at all so I hope I do not offend but it is a bit long as men are often worried about the little details. I hope it will be reassuring.
First step was I had to produce a sample at home on my own. Getting it in the jar was a nightmare. The pot is only 2.0 cm cm wide so it takes a good aim and a lot of control but not impossile. I had to then get from London SW1 to Harley St. I was given strict instructions to keep the sample warm by keeping the sample pot in my left hand and in my pocket. I then had to negotiate the entire London Underground system with only my right hand and the left one stuffed in my pocket and terrified I was going to pull the POT out of my pocket and accidentally hand it to a ticket inspector instead of my ticket.
I arrived at Harley St, got to the clinic, walked through the door to be met by a very pretty young woman who said, "can I help you". To which I replied "yes, I have got something warm in my pocket for you". She said, "well lets have it then". I gave the pot to her and she didn't even flinch. I, however, hoped the ground would open up and swallow me but she insisted on questioning me at length in a public area, name address, time since sample taken, etc. She was actually really nice and polite and I was just being a complete jelly. The basic tests came out just fine.
My wife then went through many much more invassive tests and we eventually ended up in the IVF clinic. Where of course I had to produce many sperm samples.
The first time I produced a sample at the IVF clinic, I was on my own and they showed me into a nice room with chairs, a TV, video recorder,a large selection of pornographic videos and magazines and a big box of tissues. The nurse kindly pointed out all these to me and then gave me a little pot. The worst part was that the room had a little double doored serving hatch in the wall which I was instructed to put the sample pot through once I had produced a sample. I was really worried the nurse on the other side was going to open he doors before I had finished and ask me how it was going. Of course, she didn't and I was fine. There is a queue outside so people know exactly how long you take to 'produce'. I admit to being worried about being 'too quick' or 'too slow'.
I did ask the nurse afterwards what happens if men are so worried they cannot produce a sample. She said it happens a lot and they put films on, tell people to just walk round the block, give them vibrators and have various surgical methods of collection if all else fails. There really is no pressure and actually the staff are incredibly indifferent to it all. Its just us men who are terrified and mortally embarrased.
The IVF clinic tested my sample and gave me a sort of marks out of 10 for motility, quality and volume. Lets just say, they were so pleased they asked me to be a donor but I admit I was petrified of failing the test and they do ask DW to be there to provide support. There are lots of things they can do now to improve sample quality now so there is no such thing as 'failing the test' in reality.
After that, the actual samples that were used fertilise DW's eggs for freeezing were collected at the clinic. These were really important samples and I wanted DW to be there so we could 'produce' the sample together. The staff thought that a bit odd but it was important to me. Another time I did produce the fertilisation sample on my own as DW had to have a procedure before injection of the sperm directly into her womb. I forget exactly why that was.
To be honest, the worst part, was that the IVF clinic treated me like a stud bull and often just basically talked to my DW even if I was sitting right next to her. It was like I had to produce sperm to order, without any emotional involvement in creating my own child, which I found upsetting. Of course I was very worried for my DW as well so there was a lot of emotional pressure on me. I eventually complained about the clinic's attitude and they did admit they were reviewing how they treated men as they felt they were too 'woman oriented'. Maybe it is a lot better now.
After all that, DW gave birth to two lovely children - both completely naturally.
I hope that helps and I that I didn't offend anyone.