FF help if possible please

[daisydotandgertie]

We've been TTC on a very unplanned basis for the last 6 months - along the lines of BD'ing when we felt like it with no contraception. It has suited us to take baby making a bit slowly because we are newly married, I have no job and we were happy to 'shake down' together for a while.

We have now decided to TTC with more brio. Mostly because we are both now 40. I have had blood tests at the doc which gave good news on LH levels.

Last month I completed my first month of temping and OPKs using Fertility Friend which was worked really well and resulted in a positive HPT at just 7 DPO.

This resulted in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I have read on here that ibuprofen can cause miscarriage and think that the course of 3 ibuprofen per day that the doc had put me on for tendonitis probably had something to do with it. I won't be taking ibuprofen again for a while!

The doctor is very laid back about continuing TTC, and we have decided to continue this month to see what happens.

What I need a bit of help with is FF - it puts your ovulation date on the chart 3 days after you have actually ovulated. By the time the cross arrives, I think it's too late to fertilize an average egg.

Those of you who know, which signs do you look for to get your timing right? Am I right with the 3 days PO being too late thing?

Suddenly, it feels as though I really don't have a hope of having a baby because I am a bit too old and just don't know enough. Why did I take all those ibuprofen? I certainly wouldn't have done if I had known.

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear of your mc, there is nothing to prove that Ibruprofen was the issue so please don't blame yourself. I had a mc a couple of years ago and I know how difficult it is not to aportion blame but try not to.

I am by no means proficient in FF but I can tell you that, yes, you're right, 3 days PO is too late to fertilise that egg.

FF is brilliant to use retrospectively to give you an idea of when you ov. If you use it for a few months hopefully a pattern will emerge that allows you to predict when you do ov.

The main things people look for are EWCM (egg white cervical mucus - usually present just before you ov to allow sperm to survive), cervical position (high soft and open I think is what you're looking for but I don't engage in cervical pursuits so hopefully someone else can tell you) and other signs like pain in one side, sore boobs etc.

The more you note down when you get these signs on FF, the more you'll notice a pattern of them appearing.

As for being 40, I have heard many success stories on here of women who acheive a healthy pregnancy who are over 40 - I think there are a few threads set up for support, just do a quick search and you'll find them.

I wish you the best of luck

PnM

Oh, and meant to say, also try not to get to wound up by having sex on the 'correct' day. It helps for sperm to be present before the egg arrives so making sure you having sex at least twice, if not 3 times a week from when your period finishes will help enormously.

Sperm can live up to 7 days so its not worth the panic of trying to 'time it right'!

(I feel I should point out I've been ttc for about 4 yrs now with no success so I do know how hard it is not to obsess!!)

Good luck x

Thanks PnM - I think you're right. I should allow the ff site to build up a pattern of my cycle and then use it as a prediction tool. I stupidly hadn't expected it to act in that way.

It still shocks me that I know so little about reproduction. I've spent so many years expecting a pregnancy to occur at the drop of a hat - and even being nervous that contraception would fail! Little did I know that the window for success is so small, nor that there were so many factors which can cause it to go wrong even then!

Rationally then, it's plenty of sex, no obsessing and a good relaxed attitude which will make these babies!

Have you had any fertility tests done?

try reading this www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0091887585 which may help (I'm half way through it at the moment and am learning a lot!)