spicemonster - I assume you mean that the DH is finding it difficult either maintain an erection or to ejaculate then yes. I suffered very badly when we were TTC.
Assuming it is not endocrinological, which is unlikely in my view, it is much more likely to be psychological. The doctor laughing is very unhelpful and the DH must be feeling like dirt, a total failure as a man and a complete wreck right now.
I hope I can help a bit by relating my story when were TTC about a decade ago.
The pressure having to 'perform' on a given day at a given hour is especially difficult when TTC for a man. To help women understand how it feels for the man TTC, just imagine being told by your DH/DP that you have a specific week next month when you will be required to have sex every day and must have an orgasm on every day no matter what the circumstances, even if you are tired or not feeling in the mood. Well that is what it is like for the man TTC.
Sex becomes boring and also the emotional contact is lost when TTC. Sex just becomes something that has to be done and in those circumstances failing to maintain an erection or just not being able to ejaculate is very likely.
The first time it happened to me, it did not bother me too much but it a happened a few times and one night I sensed my wife was disappointed and upset and then it hit me like a truck. I began to make up stories in my head that it was ALL my fault that I didn't perform that one night last month and that was the night we SHOULD have conceived and the only reason it didn't happen was because I failed.
The pressure to perform was immense. In the end I just was in a complete state. I dreaded the upcoming week in the next month I had to perform. It did not happen every single time but every time I failed to ejaculate and we did not conceive that month I blamed myself completely. It was all my fault because I didn't perform.
We got round the problem in three ways:
- We took a lot more time to really make love not just have sex. If it was just too quick and functional that was a problem. Simply not becoming aroused enough and then pressure to ejaculate very quickly usually led to failure.
- We practiced when there was no pressure to perform (because it was the wrong time of the month) so I got used the feeling and confidence again I could do it.
- If I failed or felt like I might fail to ejaculate we stopped straight away. Talked for a while kissed and cuddled and then came back to it an hour later. Often having failed and then got over the panic and the fear of failure the pressure was off. Often it worked second time round.
Hope that helps.