I need cheering up !

[lb09]

I need some cheering up. I have been using the Clearblue monitor for 2 months now and both times I have had my peak reading. This month we also used preseed. I am doing everything I think I can and we both lead healthy lifestyles. I am so fed up though that I have not had my bfp. I know its really not that long to be trying (and sorry if I sound like I am whinging) but since we are ?trying? at the crucial time, and I know I am ovulating, what?s going on and should I be worried? All my friends just seem to fall pregnant in the first month of trying and I am just really worried that there is something wrong with me.

How old are you? Two months of trying isn't that long really. It's hard when everyone you know falls pg straight away, but more often than not it's never really straight away. There is I think only a 20% chance of conceiving each month if you're doing everything right, which it sounds like you are. It will happen, it took me 18 months to get pg with my ds, but it's worth the wait.

Thanks Headfairy. We are both 29. I think I was just a bit naive in thinking that if we did it at the right time of the month we would fall pregnant within a few months but that's not turning out to be the case. Congrats on the birth of your ds. 18 months is a long time to wait so sorry about grumbling about no positive after 2 months

Hi lb09,

Two months is the equivalent of a blink of an eye in the concieving game.

My four best frieds also fell pregnant on the first go.....I took much, much longer (with a miscarriage)....and I also happen to be the healthiest of the bunch...so go figure!!

There are a million different factors that go into why one doesn't get pregnant each month.....bad egg, bad sperm, sperm just didn't get there, sperm did get there but egg didn't implant etc.etc.

There is most likely NOTHING wrong with you!! You just have to keep trying. Keep in mind that half of all fertility problems stem from the male so if your partner isn't very healthy (e.g. smoking and drinking too much)it is just as likely that he could be part of the problem (if there is indeed a problem which at two months, you have nothing to worry about!!)

If you are under 35, doctors recommend you try for a year before coming in for a fertility consultation.....if you are over 35, they say to come in after 6 months of trying.

Good luck and all will be well!!!

29 is pretty young, you've still got a)the time and b) the eggs I was 35 when I started ttc and I had no idea of my cycle, hence the 18 month period. I'll probably be shot down here, but I'm a big fan of getting to know your cycle without using fertility monitors and opks etc. Once I knew the signs (EWCM, cervical position etc) I got pretty good at getting pg quickly, I managed it at first attempt last year when I was 37, lost that one, but got pg again the very next cycle. Sadly lost that one too (that's probably my age showing itself - 38 now) but I'm pg again after only two cycles of ttc.

I think the two key things are knowing your body, and relaxing about it. Don't obssess, don't compare yourself to anyone else, don't count days and worry yourself in to a frenzy as that will make conception less likely. Just enjoy practising. Sex you really enjoy is much more likely to produce a baby than any timed, on-the-right-day, gotta get this right baby making.

Hi Lb09 - I know how you feel. I am the same age (as is dh) and this is my 4th cycle TTC. I think we just all presume it will be easy because at school they teach you that sex=babies, but its not that simple. Plus friends and relatives of mine are getting pg left, right and centre by just thinking about it (so it seems anyway!). You just have to keep at it (so to speak ) and try and stay positive (which is always easier said than done). The problem I have is I am impatient, in that if there is a problem then I feel I want to know about it now so I know where I stand, rather than wasting a year of TTC and all the heartache that brings. Still good things come to those who wait and it is making me realise that I can't just have everything when I want it! Patience is a virtue and all that!!

This site is a good place to come and let off steam though, as everyone else is in the same situation of TTC.

Thank you all so much for your responses. I really do feel so much better! I know I am being neurotic about it and I need to find a way to chill about! Maybe a trip to the gym will make me feel better?? Anyway, thanks and onwards + upwards to next month

Hi Headfairy - just crossed posts with you - Congratulations on your BFP!
Am interested about the cervical position thing that you mentioned - how the hell does that work?? Always up for new things to obsess over!!

Josie22 - I am impatient too which is why I brought the monitor as I wanted to a)make sure I O'ed b) know when I O'ed and be in total control. Now I am the same as you, if there is a problem I want to know NOW!! I feel better now from reading the responses that its one of those things which may take time..... so how do we remain patient?? Its just such a rollar coaster of emotions. Of my friends who seem to fall stright away I guess they could have been trying for longer than they let on. Have you told people you are ttc? Thankfully we haven't but people keep asking when we're going to so I keep making up excuses; moving house etc but thats is an added pressure as well.

Anyway, good luck to you and I hope next month is you month!

lb - as you'll no doubt discover, Mother Nature hates control freaks. I am one too, I want to time everything, have the perfectly spaced apart babies at exactly the time of year I want them. 'Fraid it doesn't work that way. If you say "oh I quite fancy a summer baby" you know as sure as eggs is eggs you'll have a baby on Christmas day or something. Best thing to do is roll with it.

Josie, cervical positioning. I don't do it religiously because as I said I was trying to take a more laid back approach to ttc, but every now and then as I approached ov I'd stick a finger up and have a feel. When you're about to ovulate your cervix softens (it feels more like your bottom lip) and rises right up (I can barely reach mine). When you are not fertile it hardens (feels like the tip of your nose) drops down and closes. I think the acronym is SHOP (soft, high and open) for when you're fertile. Then you go for it like the clappers

Headfairy - thanks for that. Sounds worth a try...maybe next month. As you recommend I am trying to be more relaxed about it this month (as the first three months I was anything but). There are so many things that you can do to check when ov is happening that think you can drive yourself crazy. Just got the CM checking sorted though which is helpful - barely even noticed it was there before I started TTC and didn't know what changes in it meant - so ignorant really .

LB09 - We haven't told anyone that we are TTC except one of my sisters. Don't think I could cope with all the expectant faces every time I see friends and family. There are already rumours circulating because I didn't drink one night (I had just been ill) and obviously I am such an alcoholic that everyone noticed (!) and started making presumptions. I feel like saying even if I am pg then I would tell you when I want to! Thank goodness for this place otherwise think I would be going mad with it all.