Disappointed and confused!

[AG13]

to all,

I am really pissed off today!
I?ve been trying to get pregnant for a year and half now, and I really thought it was finally coming true:
After some testing and treatment in the last few months, I had an IUI on March 23rd and was starting to have all the early pregnancy symptoms we could think of for the last 4 to 5 days, pelvic pain (somehow different than period-like pain, more like stabbing and stretching), insomnia, dizziness (nearly fainted once like 3 days ago), lack of appetite, nipples enlargement and itching, so I got really excited and about 80 to 90% sure I was pregnant.
This morning, around day 15 after my IUI, I decided to test at home and I got highly disappointed to have an immediate negative result. I am really angry with myself for believing and hoping! I am also confused, as from one side I thought I could test on day 14 or 15 after IUI (I was ovulating the day I had my IUI, which was day 13 of my cycle) and on the other hand it is not the regular time for getting my period yet, I usually have 30 to 32 days cycle and today is day 27 which is before my period time. Strangely enough, I started period like pain again this morning.
I don?t know what to think anymore, have I tested too early?? Did I actually start implantation but then the pregnancy did not hold? I know I should wait for my period to show up or have a blood test, but I needed to share this and have some real life opinions. Could anyone help please?

Thanks a lot!

A.G.

I haven't a clue but bumping for you.

Sorry you're going through this. TTC is a soul destroying experience sometimes. I can't really tell you what your symptoms mean, no one can. However I've learnt from bitter experience to ignore any symptoms that occur before at least cd35. Just before you ovulate until a few days before your period starts your progesterone starts to rise, and this can really mimic pregnany symptoms. Cruelly enough, the more you want these symptoms, the stronger they can seem.

It could also mean you had a chemical pregnancy, or a pregnancy that failed to implant which can produce enough hormones to get you thinking you're pregnant, but not enough to sustain the pregnancy.

Either way, there's really no way of telling. Only time can answer your questions. It's intolerable sometimes, you have my sympathies. I'm currently on the 2ww too, and all I can say is keep busy and don't think about it. You will find out either way soon enough. Good luck.

firstly, so sorry that you're going through such a rollercoster atm.

Secondly, most pregnancy symptoms aren't detectable until around seven weeks, at around the time the heartbeat is visible. Pg symptoms are caused by hcg, and if there is not enough hcg to trigger a test there really isn't enough to lead to genuine pregnancy symptoms. That's not to say that you're not pregnant, it's just that it's very common to have the desired symptoms if you want them to be there badly enough. As someone who ttc for 3.5 years before giving up, I had every symptom imaginable every month (not for 3.5 years but often enough to believe that this month could be the month) and never once was pregnant.

If your period isn't due for another five days then you really should hold off testing until at least then if not a few days after. That way a result will show up either way, either by the arrival of your period, or by a positive result once your period is actually late.

Early testing really is the work of the devil.

I thank you all for your instructive responses and I really appreciate the support.

I am sorry to know ?wannaBe? that you?ve been trying for 3.5 years now with no success. The point is that I am 35 now, soon 36 in mid-summer and I keep on worrying about the decrease of infertility rate starting that age. I know there are other options I can adopt like trying for other IUIs (I only had one trial) or going directly to IVF as my doctor recommended, but I?ve already endured various kind of physical and emotional pain, going through the required tests, getting disappointed every time I get my period (my increasingly painful period), I also had a laparoscopy (surgery) to test my uterus and remove any present endometriosis and now the IUI with no success!! I thought I will not need to go through the IVF process, which I believe requires, some annoying treatment, anesthesia, discomfort, and even more and more expenses. I keep on thinking why do I have to go through all this while others just succeed with limited or no efforts at all!!
Anyway, I really hope you will be blessed with a child after all!

Dear HeadFairy, I am also sorry to learn that you?ve gone through bitter experiences. You seem to be well informed and knowledgeable about how things could go (progesterone rise and chemical pregnancy), I think this of course came with the experience you got.
And yes you are right, it?s cruel and seem so unfair, I come to feel at some point that I am empty or incomplete? not able to conceive and hold on to a pregnancy.
I wish you Good Luck as I believe you?re also waiting, so cross your fingers and thanks again.

Bless you AG.. rest assured though, your body doesn't have a calendar, it doesn't know you're going to turn 36 mid summer so don't worry unduly about that. I got all het up about that myself when ttc soon after I got married. I was being investigated for subfertility at the time and the consultant snorted and said don't worry about it. Of course a 25 year old is more fertile than a 35 year old, but the difference between 35, 36 or even 37 is pretty small. But I do get where you're coming from, I really wanted to have a baby before I was 39 but unless it's very prem that ain't happening now. From my experience setting deadlines is fatal as you'll never hit them. If you've got the energy you just keep plodding on, charting, temping or doing whatever you do to get pg. Good luck with it all.

Oh and I'm not that knowledgeable, but you hang around here long enough you pick up some tips

Hello guys. AG I hope you are pregnant. IUI must work for some as otherwise the hospitals wouldn't do them. I had 3 IUIs in 2008 but sadly no joy. Currently on the 2 week wait on my first IVF. Our bodies and our brains are so intent on letting us have the thing we want most in the world that they mimic the indications of pregnancy. If we want it that much we will notice/feel those telltale signs. I had 2 embryos transferred on 2nd April. I had such sore nipples all over the weekend that I could hardly bare to shower as touching them or accidentally brushing my arm on one was really painful. They are still tender today but nowhere mear as bad.
If you can hold off testing until a set time on the day after your period is due the result will be more accurate. I wanted to delay my testing as I've an important meeting in the afternoon of that day but the IVF Doctor said I must test on that day and telephone the clinic to tell them if the result is +ve or -ve. I just know that if its -ve I will be close to tears all day and the last thing I'll want to do is sit in a meeting (that cannot be re-arranged, as I would not be able to give a good enough excuse).
I really hope for you that the IUI works and that you soon see that Big Fat Positive on the stick.

I agree that it is not fair that some women get preggers without trying and for free! I am currently NHS funded for the IVF and was for the IUIS, but still have to pay for the drugs and the pregnancy tests and car parking at the hospital. Although I would still go through IVF even if it cost me £4,500 each time. How could I let money prevent me conceiving,carrying and giving birth to a child? Some women are lucky to have gorgeous looks and hair and most of us have to pay to get them. Same with babies. Only a lot more heartache along the way.

Sending good vibes to everyone on this thread. Fingers crosses for good news.

Thanks again HeadFairy, u've made me feel better today as I had a depressing day in the office, it's good to put things out and share with others similar experiences. All the best to you!!

Hi KC,

Thanks for your input and nice advices!

It's good to read about what you experienced also. Of course, I totally agree with you that nothing should stand in the way of getting pregnant, and naturally not money. I think the next thing my doctor will recommend as soon as I see her again is, same as you just did, going directly to IVF, she initially did not suggest I do the IUI anyway for its low rate of success but my husband and I agreed to have it at least once.
I really look forward to know your good news, I know that IVF have a 50% rate of success so keep your fingers crossed. Would you please leave a note on this page whenever you are ready, whatever the result is, which I truly hope will be a BIG POSITIVE for you.
For your meeting, I really don't get it why you have to inform the clinic on that particular day and not wait for the day after, I wonder what would change for them whether you are pregnant or not unless it is for some statistics they do? I actualy beleive whether the resut is positive or negative, we will not be able to concentrate in the office, particularly in a meeting, maybe you need to give yourself this additional 24 hours, but anyway this is only a faraway opinion
Also, thanks for your wishes, I will be waiting for my next period which could be coming soon as my pelvic pain is increasing. Hope we'll keep in touch! All the best!

Happy to help

If you ever feel you need to rant again, feel free to come and join us on an ignoring our cycle thread where we're all trying to be rather casual about the whole ttc thing

AG I forgot to say that I turned 35 in March this years and I've never been pregnant. I cam off the pill on Sept 2003 thinking I'd conceive by Christmas. Little did i know that I had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit and would have to have major surgery in March 2004, two weeks after my 30th birthday. Then doctor said not to try to conceive as I would risk having to have a hysterectomy if i were to have a miscarriage they might not be able to stop the bleeding and they might have no choice. Sensibly I listened and waited 11 and a half of the recommended twelve months. Since then 4 years have passed. I've never seen two blue lines appear. I feel your pain. Keep positive in your mind and see if you can request a referral from your GP for the local gyne clinic. Forgive me if you've already done this.

Hi KC11,

Thanks for the added information about yourself. And I also feel sorry you had to go through all this waiting and disappointment.

I really hope this IVF you had is going to work out for you, at least it would be worth knowing that we've waited but we FOUND! Still, don't get discouraged if things do not go the way we expect, there are always other trials.

I wanna tell you also that I had my period this afternoon as I thought

Also, I did not understand what you mean by "see if you can request a referral from your GP for the local gyne clinic", maybe it's something already done, maybe not as it is not clear to me, could you please explain?

Thanks!
AG13

AG so sorry af arrived.

I have been TTC for 5 yrs and have has 1 attempted at IUI last may which failed despite 3 eggs and 45 million sperm, however i was given clomid in Oct last yr i fell on the second month and sadly miscarried at 5 weeks, however i started it again last month and have fallen again, i am 6 weeks today and hoping against all hope that this one sticks nice and firmly.
So just wanted to say dont give up it can still happen, i was ta the stage where i realy was beginning to think it was never going to happen, i am still shocked and dont think i will believe it is realy happening until i get to 12 weeks buthopefully i will have a baby in dec.

Good luck i realy hope that if you have anymore attempts at IUI that they work for you or that you fall naturaly in the meantime.

AG I am so sorry to hear AF arrived. I am sure mine will start soon as I've had some bad cramps during the early hours this morning.

Anyway, I got myself a bit confused. You had already said that you'd had some test done. Do you want to talk on here about what the tests were and whether you partner had tests too? I feel I have probably had most of the ones available.

I never thought I'd have to resort to IVF and didn't want to invade my body with all the chemicals and hormones. But I truly didn't have that bad a time with the IVF meds.

Are you good health? Do you drink coffee/tea and fizzy drinks. The caffeine in all these is apparently best avoided if you're having trouble conceiving. I now only drink de-caff tea twice a day and now don't touch fizzy drinks. It can't hurt trying.

Have you ever tried reflexology? I think it's the most relaxing thing ever. Some reflexologists are specially trained in infertility and they manipulate certain points on your feet at different times in your cycle. You would need to have one session each week but I find it so relaxing. It's hard to explain as your mind becomes freee of all thoughts. You also fall asleep and when she's finished she can tell if a certain body part is under pressure eg a cold or an infection affects your immnune system. She also kept telling me that she could tell that my kidneys were clogged up and needed lots of water flushed through to clear out the muck. She can feel tiny grains in the lymphatics system and the treatment is completely safe and uses no drugs. There is usually soft instrumental music playing quietly and one of my lady's CDs has sounds of waves gently crashing on the beach. It sounds hippy dippy but I absolutely love it. If you make enquiries in a beauty salon they might have a qualified fertility reflexologist. Good luck.

Hi Ray81,

Thanks for posting your experience.
It gives me hope that things could work out in a way or another. Everyone is telling me not to stress out and not even to think about it. But how could I when following a treatment and waiting??? You're actually pushed to think about it while waiting for results.
Anyway, my doctor agreed with me to go directly into IVF. She does not beleive much in iui so she did not advise i do another one as it could be a waste of time and energy at my level as i could get more demotivated. On the other hand, to me IVF means reaching the ceiling where there no more chances afterward except another IVF!

I have started Marvellon (contraceptive pills) yesterday for 21 days times in order to monitor the timing of my period before IVF in May.

I hope for the best but I need to relax as well from all the thinking.

Hi KC11,

I would like to tell you not worry much for now about bad cramps, it?s a bit too soon I guess. I also had cramps and was bloated also very few days after my iui and then something like period pain, which is I believe due to the shot I had and the insertion of Caterer inside my uterus.
In your case, it could be that you are starting implantation maybe? Anyway too much thinking and analyzing will lead nowhere, we?ll have to wait anyway.
I want to tell you also about one of my colleagues whose sister had an IVF, was blessed with beautiful twins and now she just got pregnant naturally so I guess, stress has a lot to do with it.

As for the test, we did the necessary blood test and sperm test, I had a Hysterosalpingography to test the Fallopian tubes, that was somehow painful, I had a Laparoscopy and Hysteroscopy to test for Endometriosis and that was an official surgery where I had complete anesthesia and slept one night at the hospital before resting for like 5 days at home.

Now I?m starting an IVF treatment, I think it will be in Mid-May or so, and I really look forward to learn about your results
And yes, s as I know, I am healthy, I drink coffee and milk once a day only in the morning, don?t like tea much and not much fizzy drinks either. I hate smoke. Also, I have not tried any of the relaxing techniques, maybe I should as I am going into a stressful phase all over again. Thanks for asking and informing me about it as well.

Again Good Luck to you and to all of us

I have another question here today
Anyone had a rather short and strange period after IUI such as mine? Blood and strong pain (which required medecine) for 2 consecutive evenings, then dark brown discharge during the day for 2 consecutive days, then now nearly nothing. I am having in parallel some pain on the ovaries, which is often expanding to my legs, and pain (like needles) in my breasts every now and then. I am worried Clomid and Pregnyl resulted in some Cyst on my ovaries which is causing this. My doctor will not test me before 2 weeks but she put me on contraceptive pills to monitor my cycle (for the next IVF) and she said that those pills would at the same time help remove the cyst in case there is any.

Anyone with a similar experience or with a comment to mine?
Thanks!
AG13