Broody but not in a position to TTC

[ButtonCute]

I'm new here and was wondering whether there was anyone out there in the same boat as me (or having ever been). I don't have children and am really not in a position to have them at the moment - I'm in a new-ish relationship, DP and I share a house with others, I'm not financially where I want to be, my career is taking off, but I am just so broody.

Suddenly it seems like everyone I know is pregnant. My head is telling me that it would be insane to have a baby, but then I can't help thinking that if it happened, actually, it would be fine. Brilliant even.

It's not going to happen because DP isn't ready and I'd never try to trick him or anything, but I can't stop thinking about it.
I had a miscarriage in 2006 (with my ex) which devastated me and put us off trying again, but now all I can remember is that amazing feeling of being pg and how great it would be for it to happen with my new guy.

I'm not looking for advice or encouragement to talk to DP and go for it or anything - I suppose I just wondered whether anyone else had ever felt like this, so I can reassure myself its not insane to want to fast forward through the next few years of your life so you can get to the bit where you become a mum...

No it's not insane How old are you?

I was terribly broody from the age of about 25. DP and I had been together for 2 years but we were house sharing in london, enjoying life and no one in our group of friends was anywhere near the settling down stage.

We both wanted to travel, but my broodiness was so intense I was prepared to miss out and just have babies. In the end, I let my head rule over my heart. We travelled came back, set up home together and then finally had babies (I was 29 by then).

I am glad I waited, but we did have other things to focus on. Is there any other project you can get stuck into?

Thanx for your sweet message pginthecloset. I'm 27 next month.

Sounds like I am in exactly the same situation as you were, living typical 20-something life in London. DP and I have already got travelling out of our systems and our big focus for both of us is our careers, but for some reason it feels like my biological clock has suddenly kicked in and I can't help thinking it wouldn't be the end of the world if I took a break... But completely not realistic.

I know I'll be glad to have waited when it finally happens, but I just so want to be there already!

I suppose in terms of projects, the next step is for us to buy our own place, so continuing to work hard towards that.

I know how you feel Button. I'm 28 and been with my boyfriend for a year or so but it was pretty uncertain to start with, for various reasons. I was very surprised to feel from the very beginning with him that I would like to be pregnant - it seemed a very odd feeling to have about him so early on and when other aspects of our relationship were uncertain. But now things have settled down a bit and it's actually him who has brought up starting a family, not me! We haven't discussed or decided anything yet (though we are not being particularly careful). I'm not sure if we are mad to consider it even tacitly - our situation is a bit unconventional in some ways, we're not living together for instance. But mostly I see it as a positive reflection of our relationship that my instinct on this point has been so strong from the beginning!

It does sound like we're in kind of a similar position, Arionater. I've just checked into another similiar thread and must admit to feeling jealous even reading about ppl who aren't ttc yet but are in the position to set a month/date to start.

I guess for me, it's important to have certain things in place before we do and I know that I don't have them yet, so we can't start.

It's positive that you and your P are discussing it seriously. At the minute, we're at the stage where we just make off-hand comments about how things will be when we have kids. DP freaked out when I first did that, jokily, to test the water, but now he's doing it too. So we're moving in the right direction at least...

Weird to read this post because - for some reason - I was mulling over this very subject this morning. I went through an intensely broody period in my mid-twenties when I really wasn't in a position to have a baby: relationship not certain - and DP as was (now DH) definitely not ready to be a father, career not established, still in a houseshare etc. I do recall thinking, "But I don't care! I just want one now!" Thankfully, that feeling subsided to manageable proportions and I was able to concentrate on other things for several years without wishing I could hit the fast forward button. Everything finally came together a couple of years ago and once we knew the time couldn't get any "righter" IYSWIM, we went for it and were lucky enough to conceive DS pretty quickly. He's now a year old and the last year has been both the best and the worst (by which I mean the hardest) of my life. I am now positively grateful for the years that DH and I spent together without a baby. It gave us the chance to do so many things - both together and separately - that are hard or impossible with a small child. Some of it was the big stuff like travelling but I love the fact that even the smaller, more everyday things (restaurants, cinema, relaxed nights out with friends etc) are a fantastic "bank" of memories and experiences to look back on. I don't mean to sound like life stops when you have baby because of course it doesn't - but it is so so very different, and so irrevocable, that I am a firm advocate of enjoying relative freedom while you have it. Sorry - bit of a ramble, perhaps, but just wanted to concur that you're definitely not insane and also (I hope) to encourage you to look to other things until the Mum-part of your life comes along

I need some help really, my husband and I have been married since september and have a lovely daughter but I am feeling so broody it is making us drift apart. He is really keen to have another but we borrowed money from the in-laws to buy our house and we dont feel comfortable having another baby until we pay them back as we dont want them to judge us in any way. All this is totally logical and we have got plenty of time (im only 25) but I just can not shake this feeling and its starting to make me feel really really down. Help!