The sun is shining and all around me women are popping out babies no 2 and 3. Why not me?

[Suze25]

I'm extremely fortunate to have one DC and early last year I decided to start ttc no 2. I've now just turned 35 and I'm waiting for an appointment at my local fertility clinic.

All around me women from groups I go to have managed to produce two children within a couple of years. Some of them are older than me but it's happened to them exactly as timetabled.

Each month I kid myself that I might be pregnant up to and often including the first day of AF! I'm angry that I've let this need in me become so all consuming. I'm sick of obsessively checking the calendar and tired of BD for a purpose rather than fun.

I'm ashamed to admit that I've wasted precious time sitting around waiting for something to happen that I can't control. Over the past year I've put things on hold because I was so convinced that next month I'd be pregnant, therefore I couldn't possibly take a part time job, do an evening course or make holiday plans abroad - doh!

Somehow I have to try and regain perspective and start "living" again. So it's time to find that part time job, book that holiday, join that club, do an evening course etc, etc.

Thank you for anyone who has taken the time to stick with me on this one!

Hi

Glad to know I am not alone in feeling this way. I too have a beautiful DC and would love love love another. We have been trying for months without success. I am 38 and panicking a bit more with every month that passes.

I have postponed my wedding and everything beacuse my dress won't accommodate a bump, and everything else I do revolves around "when/if I am pregnant", including when we have sex. I am even avoiding pregnant friends as it upsets me so much.

Lately, tho, I am trying to get a grip on myself and really cherish each moment with my daughter and enjoy my relationship, as I know how lucky I am to have both and some people have neither. I also feel that if I chill out a we bit more, then things are more likely to happen....we shall see.

Do try and get on with other stuff, it can only be a good idea to have other things going on inside your head! I know a lot of mums who have conceived whilst relaxing on holiday so, go for it!! Good luck at the clinic, hope it all works out for you x