to those of you TTC#2 and struggling.........

[flintski]

am I wrong to feel like giving up now that its been over a year?

we always said that if it didn't happen for us, we wouldn't have any intervention but now that its coming to it, i don't know what to do. We have had basic tests which are all fine but I really don't know if we can cope with anything more than that. My DD is 5 in december and the gap is growing and growing.

I guess the question I'm asking is - would I be being selfish to call it quits now on ttc#2? I do dearly want a sibling for DD but I'm worried the stress and pressure of trying is damaging my relationship with DH and we are not enjoying the family we already have. Also, i have some dear friends who have been unable to have children and feel so lucky to have DD. (and i know there are many people here who are stuggling TTC#1, I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with this post being so self indulgent about not having 2 children)

Any thoughts/advice/comments...

I am in exactly the same position as you, I have been trying for #2 18 months and if my body has its way today I will be going into my 19th month.
With #1 I tried for 4 years and had given up all hope and like you was not going to have intervention and still don't want any.
We stopped discussing having a child and just made not effort to prevent it, and got on with our lives went on holiday etc, I fell pregnant and was really shocked.

Now I have got to the point with this one, where I think we will just have to do the same again and just not discuss it and if it happens it happens and yippeee, if it doesn't I have one beautiful DD and I am lucky to have her.

Do what you think is best but you are not alone

thanks nunnie - it sounds like you have had a difficult time. I think like you said, i just need to stop thinking about it and get on with my life - easier said than done though isn't it?

How old is your DD?

My DD is 22 months, but as she took so long to make an appearance we wanted to start asap and it would appear it was a good idea.

It is much easier said than done yes, and with this one is proving to be much more difficult indeed I think it cos with #1 I didn't know what to expect so not having that knowledge made it a little easier cos I didn't know what I was missing. Now I do and I want it so much forgetting hasn't been possible yet, but I remain hopeful for getting on with my life soon

I think I've given up. Ds was 6yrs down the line - with a mp before him. 2 mc since - the first one took ages to get back to normal so was convinced mp reoccuring. Ds is 4 next month. I'm 40.

Mind you, there is a silver lining - the company dh worked for went into administration in Jan - no pay for Jan, no proper redundancy or notice - and he still has no job. If I was on ML at the moment we would be completely stuffed...!

sounds like its been tough for you too mistlethrush - thanks for sharing though and hope things work out for you.
I didn't realise that struggling to conceive #2 is actually quite common. Like you, it would be a really bad time now to be pg as Dh runs his own business which has been hit by credit crunch (wasn't so when we started ttc) so me not working would really be difficult so I guess that's my silver lining. We are contemplating relocating as we have terribly itchy feet and maybe this will give me something to focus on instead of ttc.

nunnie - fingers crossed for you - when is af due?

flintski, my AF is due on Sunday, but last cycle was only 25 days, and had dramps last night, so I am thinking it is on its way and it might be another 25 day cycle for me

Dramps???? cramps!!

its weird how a cycle can change when you analyse it isn't it! I usually have 25 day cycles but have just got af on day 31 this month which totally threw me!