should I tell this friend I'm ttc?

[dancingqueeen]

My close friend has been telling me and I believe quite a few others that they're going to start ttc their first child in a months time, when they move into their new house. She's been fairly open about it, and thats generally her style about things. We're very close and often talk through each others problems / big decisions, along with a few other close friends (all of whom are currently single and ttc is on the distant horizon)

the thing is, I'm an intensely private person, I would really prefer not to tell anyone in RL that we're ttc (other than dh of course ). But I feel a bit uncomfortable about the fact I know when she's going to start ttc and she doesn't even know I've started. she's not asked me outright, so its not like I've lied, but I do feel like I'm lying by ommission.

it is no ones business but your own. good luck!

Personally I didn't tell anyone we were TTC (again apart from DH !!) as it felt to me like I was saying "we're having unprotected sex, just to let you know"! This meant that I did have several conversations when we were TTC and then when I was less than 12 weeks pregnant (and hadn't told anyone I was pregnant) about when we might like children / when we might start trying etc and as you say, it almost felt like lying by omission. But I didn't want people to keep asking me "so are you pregnant yet then" etc in case it took us months or even years. I would say that if you would prefer not to tell people then that's fine! They will find out soon enough if you conceive!

Good luck!

I didn't tell anyone apart from my very very closest friend that I was ttc and only then because I thought I was pg.
It is a private thing imo.
Fair enought tell people you would like a family/another child, but no need to tell everyone you are at it day and night.

Some poeple like to tell the world they are ttc whilst other like to keep it to themselves. We kept it to ourselves, apart from telling my friends here on MN . Each to there own I say. Good luck xx

Hi, i told a few people when we first started, mostly those that asked and I felt, like you, that it was a bit like lying not to tell them, and some that we had to for one reason or another. I now REALLY wish i hadn't, a year on and when i speak to some freinds they always as "are you" and I think, well i would have told you if i was or i wanted you to know... and NO i am not... I know they all mean well and just want it to happen for us, but i don't always want to talk about it. It also made things really awkward with my DB as him and my SIL know (i wish they didn't but i didn't have much choice...) and they got PG on their honeymoon, and now don't really talk to me as they feel awkward about it.
Do what feels right for you, it's no one elses business!

thanks for the messages. It makes me feel better that I'm not the only person wanting to keep it private.

girlwithacurl- thanks, thats exactly what I worried would happen, we've been ttc 6 months now (although only 3 months 'properly' as first 3 I wasn't too well), and I wouldn't want people asking all the time. this way I will find it much easier to keep a brave face. (I understand it might help some people to share what they're going through in RL, but it just wouldn't helpfeel comfortable for me)

but I do wonder how my friend will feel if I do get lucky and get pg soon and then if she doesn't. but I guess she took that risk when she volunteered the information?

are you going to change your name to babydancingqueen?

he he didn't think of that!