New and TTC with medical difficulties

[lucky1979]

Hi, I'm new here and am really here to get a bit of support - no one else except DH knows we're TTC (we both have nosy families who I would be having to constantly update on the minutae of exactly how it was going. And while my DH is massively supportive and enthusiastic, there is a limit to how much I can get stressed out at him so was hoping that here might be a place to let off steam a bit.

I'm not sure if I should be posting a new topic about this,but I didn't want to hijack anyone elses thread with my whinging. Tell me if this is not right and I'll delete or move it!

We've been TTC seriously since Jan, so not long at all. Although I know I should relax and let things take their course I feel like I'm on a terrible deadline and each month is precious. I'm 29, so should be fine for time, but I have a serious condition with my hips (had developmental dysplasia of both hips (dislocation) which went unnoticed until I was two - although both hips were reconstructed at the time during nearly a year in hospital the joints are deteriorating again now). This has led to severe arthritis in both hips and very limited range of movement in the right hip - I can walk and generally live my life normally, there is just quite a lot of pain to contend with. I was controlling this with a combination of anti-inflammatories and co-codamol but since we started TTC I've had to come off the anti-inflammatories (diclofenac) as they are not suitable to take during pregnancy.

The medical solution to my hip problems is a full hip replacement. My consultant says that I am borderline needing to have one now, but it's my decision as to when I have it done. The caveat to that is that he really recommends that, if I want a family that I go ahead and do that before the operation, as carrying a baby to term after the hip replacement will be much more difficult.

So, I'm in a lot more pain currently as the anti-inflammatories were doing a lot to keep my pain under control. So I feel like I'm under so much more pressure to conceive than before, as my hip will only get worse and I'm not going to be able to keep trying forever.

So, just a bit confused and stressed and looking for some support. My DH is great but don't want to constantly worry at him about this. And there is a very very small chance that I am - my period is late based on my previous cycle, but only came off the pill in December so my cycle has been really sketchy. I'm on day 36 with no sign of a period (although a week of cramps and stomach weirdness) and my previous cycle was only 31...but the one before that was only 28 so they're not regular. I should go and get a test really, but have been putting it off so as not to get my hopes up too much. This has the side effect that it's really all I can think about which is why I'm posting here!

Thank you if you've read this, I'm so sorry it's so long! It's really helped just to get it out. Hopefully my subsequent posts will be much more cheerful!

Kytes, thank you for reading it all, felt good just to type it out!

Have taken your advice and bought a test which I'll use tonight...fingers crossed but still trying not to get my hopes up!

Hi Lucky,

I would definitely test. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending you loads of baby dust. Let us know one way or the other -- that's what we're here for!

xxxxx

Hi Lucky
Really hoping you are already pregnant- think you should do a test

But I'm also posting because I already have a total hip replacement (right hip too!) and have had 2 children so far on it (it was replaced when I was 19, due to Perthes as a child, various complications resulting in arthritis, severe pain, lack of mobility etc.- the replacement has completely changed my life- it's wonderful!). I am fortunate in that only 1 hip is affected, but have ongoing issues with my back and left knee which had to compensate so much as I grew up.

I am surprised that your consultant has said that carrying a baby to term would be difficult with a hip replacement- I was never told this, and know of other ladies with hip replacements who have carried babies to term and given birth naturally. Unfortunately for me - and unrelated to the hip- I developed pre-eclampsia in both my pregnancies so didn't make it to term (30wks and 36wks instead) and both required emergency c-sections- but my children are fine now. In fact I had no big probs while pregnant in terms of joint pain etc., but did keep seeing a physio for advice and special exercises to strengthen my lower back etc. I also made sure I walked (gently) 30 mins every day, and tried to swim once a week too. I found prenatal yoga very good too, although could only do a fraction of the positions due to ongoing limited movement in my hip. If you want to talk more about any of this you can CAT me!

I find the bigger difficulty with hip probs and having children is actually carrying them about when they become large babies/toddlers, and playing on the floor etc. This is actually why I started my family fairly young as know my hip is wearing now, and within a few more years would expect to need another replacement- for 3 months after a replacement movement is severely limited and carrying children not an option so wanted mine to be a bit bigger and independent by then, if possible. But you can never plan everything!!

Anyhow, wanted to say a big hello and wish you lots of good luck in starting your family! (sorry this was soooo long!)

Hi Lucky, just wanted to say welcome to the forum. My husband and I will be TTC soon and we too are keeping it from family for similar reasons to you. I hope you find jumpingjellyfish's post reasuring - I think I did on your behalf, It's quite amazing who you can meet on mumsnet!

Don't worry about posting a long post

Hello! I'm so excited to post - I did the test last night and there were a very definite two lines! I'm so happy (although trying to keep calm until have had doctor's appointment and so on). I have still got what feels like period symptons and cramps, but hopefully they are just implementation cramps and not anything scary.

Thank you so much for all your good wishes and baby dust (it worked!) and JumpingJellyfish, thank you SO much for all your reassuring words, they have made me feel a million times better, not only about the pregnancy but about the THR, I've always been nervous about it so to hear from some one who has had it and gone on to have brilliant family life is wonderful and reassuring. If it's OK I might contact you if I have any questions about coping with children and having the operation? Thank you again anyway.

Am so excited!

Hi Lucky. I'm 27 and TTC for the first time (started in Jan as well.) We are also keeping it quiet from family for similar reasons! I have been lurking on the conception threads for a while but this is my first post. I was born with congenital dislocation to my left hip and like you I had surgical reconstruction as a child and was in spicas traction etc. I also take diclofenac which I have stopped taking while TTC. Like JumpingJellyfish I have problems with my right knee and back due to the extra strain from the bad leg.

I sympathize with you feeling under pressure to conceive quickly as I know my hip will continue to deteriorate. I am lucky as my joint is not bad enough to need a hip replacement yet but I do worry about the extra strain that pregnancy will put on my joints.

Sorry this is such a long post! I just wanted to sat Hi as our situations sound quite similar. Have you done a test yet?

Wow, that's fantastic news lucky, I hope I fall as quickly as you

pinkelephants - I took the test and I am! Doctors appointment on Tuesday to confirm but am super-excited anyway, even though I should be trying to be sensible It sounds like we have been through really similar things with our hips - lets stay in touch on here, if that's ok? It would be so nice to keep in contact with someone who has the same kind of issues.

claireinthecommunity - am sure you will sending lots of good baby thoughts your way

Many Congrats Lucky!! That's fab news, I secretly thought you might be!

Definitely do keep in touch if you want to chat hips/backs etc. You too pinkelephants- good luck with TTC, hope it happens soon for you. We are (madly?!) TTC #3- if I can do it so can anyone!

By the way if you do start to suffer with more pain and can't take diclofenac I still occassionally use a TENS machine, which gives quite a lot of relief.

Lucky hoping your lil' bean is a very sticky one, and you have a long, healthy & happy pregnancy!

Congratulations Lucky thats very exciting.

It would be great to stay in touch on here - I didn't expect to meet someone with such a similar medical history to me! You definately have to stay around and let us know how it goes.

I am on CD 30 and trying to resist testing. Only came off the pill in Jan so I don't really know what my usual cycle is yet.

Mind if I join in here to? I have:

Fibromyalgia - a chronic pain and fatigue condition
Hypermobility - which makes my hips and other joints a bit too stretchy)
Kidney Stones - which I'm currently having treated

We plan TTC in July/August and at the moment I'm working to improve my pain management, endurance, health etc.

I hit bottom though in January. I'm really struggling...and I can't talk to anyone about it. The deadline thing you mention is always looming ahead.

I better stop now or I'll ramble on for ages.

HoumousMonster - don't feel you can't talk to anyone...everyone seems so supportive here, and I really really do know how you feel - if you want to contact me then please feel free. It's really good to get things out sometimes, and just talk to people who might be in the same position. You sound like you're handling everything in a very positive way with pain management and so on, but it is rubbish sometimes and you shouldn't worry about rambling on! People are here to support each other and help

Lots of luck and love (and baby dust to arrive in July/August!)

Bah, I just got muddled and posted something like this in a different thread. The fibro is also part sleeping disorder and I'm trying to shift my internal clock to earlier mornings. The lack of restive sleep has been a problem for a few weeks now.

At the moment I'm struggling with the lithotripsy for the kidney stones for the most part. I've been feeling battered and bruised for two months now. They shattered a stone in January but because of the fibromyalgia my kidney is slow to heal. I get the stone on the other side treated again this week. If I'm lucky and it breaks I can probably expect another few horrible months.

One reason we want to TTC this year is that they don't know why I get kidney stones. Kidney stones make you a high risk pregnancy due to UTIs, so it seems to make sense for us to try as soon as the stones are gone and before I get any new ones.

I'm starting to take pre-natal vitamins and basal temperatures next week, but it will be a month or so before I can really start exercising. I could do with losing a few pounds too so it's really frustrating that I can't do anything thing about it. I have changed my diet & sleep patterns in an attempt to control different aspects of my condition, and even that's been exhausting.

I keep telling myself to take things slow so I don't buckle under it all, but the months are just running away from me. We really need to try for a spring/summer baby as it could take me two to three times longer to recover from giving birth than normal people, and winter is more difficult as it is.

Of course despite all these problems I look perfectly fine and people rarely realise anything is wrong with me, which can also make things harder.

Having somewhere to talk about it and knowing other people are in similar positions does help a bit.