Is there really a problem?

[nunnie]

I was reading on another thread and didn't want to butt in cos I thought it was a little rude.
I have been trying for 18 months for #2. It took 4 years with #1 and I never sought advice from anyone then, when it happened it was a shock but I never thought it might have been due to a problem.
Does there always have to be a medical reason for delay. I only ask cos, I over the last few months have decided it will happen when it happens and if, all the stress and worry each month was frankly becoming a nuisance for me. I was starting to feel like this was all my life was for to have another baby, it was causing me to forget about everything and everyone else, I was becoming stupidly obcessed with the whole thing.

I had blood tests and I am ovulating, the waiting for the results was also stressful.

I don't think I could personally stand to do anything further to add to it tbh.

My question is does it have to be medical, if it is then I suppose I have no option but to investigate further.
Is it possible the delay I have been experiencing is caused by wanting it too much!

Has anyone else just thought so what if it happens it happens if it doesn't its not the end of the world. Then it just happened?

Any advice greatly needed.

hi nunnie
if you've been trying for 18 months then there probably is a medical problem of some kind. and if it took 4 years the first time there probably was a problem then too.

the official time scale for infertility is trying for 1 year.

it doesn't mean you can't get pregnant again esp if it took 4 years with no 1 - up to you what you do - depends how old you are and how much you want another dc really.

the official time waiting though is only one year in this country. There is a lot of opinion that in actual fact, the normal time to take to conceive is two years or more. In new zealand for instance they won't do any tests until you've been ttc for two years.

If you're happy to go with the "well if it happens it happens" attitude then there's nothing wrong with that.

There is such a thing as unexplained infertility where there is no medical reason why a couple can't fall pregnant, so no, it doesn't necessarily have to be a medical problem.

If you don't want to have tests/go through invasive procedures then you shouldn't feel under pressure to do so.

I am 29, almost 30.
I really don't want invasive tests or the worry of finding out it could be something medical and I might never get pregnant again.
I do really want another child thats why finding out I can't is not something I want to know if that makes sense. I prefer to be oblivious.
I think I may give it another 6 months and then think about the medical side of things.

Thanks for the advice

Nunnie

If it took four years the first time and you have now been ttc for 18 months without success there is likely to be a fertility problem with either one or both of you. Subfertility is not the sole preserve of the woman.

There is usually a medical cause for the delay; stress alone would not cause this.

Any test result done over six months ago should be discounted.

"Unexplained infertility" is infact no diagnosis at all; all this means is that the docs have failed to find out what is wrong. It is a "diagnosis" sometimes given to couples when they have not been adequately investigated.

If you do want another child I would not delay in seeking answers and be persistant in doing so. You cannot bury your head in the sand and wait because any further delay will not actually help you.

Thanks Attila, my blood test were only done in last months cycle, will I need to get them repeated?
I will wait and see if AF arrives (due in 2 weeks) this month and then make an appointment again to discuss further.

Hi Nunnie,

I completely understand the anxiety of going through numerous fertility tests.

However, if I were in your shoes I would think of it like this: I have the option to find out what the problem is, deal with it and conceive a 2nd child; or continue with an unknown condition that may worsen as I get older and prevent me from having more children.

I would also definitely have your partner tested as 50% of fertility issues are related to the man.

You also need to think that with today?s medical advances, there are very few fertility issues (especially at your age) that cannot be treated. And you have had a successful pregnancy which is a very positive sign!

The only reason why I am writing this is that 6 months ago I was exactly like you....too scared to figure out what might be wrong. It was my husband who finally talked sense into me and finding out was the best decision ever -- I now know what I am up against and that makes me feel much more in control of my fertility.

Best of luck to you