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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

she didnt tell him what she had done

41 replies

lucyjo82 · 08/04/2005 13:46

i am very ashamed to say she is a friend but i have a prob, she didnt tell her partner that she was trying to get herself up the duff. he knows she wasnt on the pill so they used other protection but she put needle hole in the condoms, i didnt say any thing then cause the likely hood of that working was slim. but now not only is she doing that she has taken some of his (sorry here girls) sperm and up it on a tampon would this work? and should i tell him? HELP

OP posts:

wobblyknicks · 08/04/2005 15:25

Not having a baby may be making her really upset but she has to sort that out with her dp, not make the decision for him. Yes, he may be happy if she did but then he may not, you just can't tell. The bottom line is no-one's got the right to force someone into something, especially where a baby is concerned. Imagine how that child would feel if I grew up to find out what happened!!!

wobblyknicks · 08/04/2005 15:25

If it, not if i!!!!

expatinscotland · 08/04/2005 15:49

Lucy
If she has already been pregnant by him and he didn't want it then, perhaps she should move on and find s/one who does. B/c there are too many men like that out there to waste time w/someone who doesn't. I know, I was once in that situation.

It is, however, only when she realises her needs and wants are just as important as his - and very basic at that - that a person can move on.

Personally, I got tired of feeling guilty and wrong for wanting s/thing as basic as a family. I started doing work with people from developing nations and they taught me how life is as simple or complicated as we make it. They gave me the strength to move on and find a man who was thrilled to become a father.

I think I'd focus on talking to her more than your friend.

I was once asked by s/one when I was pregnant if I was afraid of having a child b/c we had so little money. I said, 'How poor can any baby be who has two parents who love her only second to God and waited so long to have her.'

Libb · 08/04/2005 16:20

What an awful dilemma for you, you say you know him well - how would he react if her plans work?

I ask because my ex-p wasn't very happy when I first found out I was pregnant, we had endless chats but decided to go ahead. He came to the scans and was really excited, was there at the birth and was practically beside himself with pride (still is) when DS was born. He adores his son more than anything.

Sadly his feelings towards me are not the same and he has decided we should split up, DS is 10 months old. We were doing fine at first but a baby puts so much strain on a couple, if they are not strong enough then something gives. Imagine the strain on them with a baby, does she realise what she is going to be doing?

Personally I wouldn't tell him, she needs to see that she is expecting him to alter his entire life to suit her needs. He may go along with it for a while but if it doesn't sit well in his heart of hearts then it probably won't work. Then they will both need to make some really serious decisions that include a little one.

ScummyMummy · 08/04/2005 16:21

I agree with the stay right out of it advice, lucyjo82. I'd have thought he'd have noticed any tampering with condoms anyway and the tampon method doesn't sound any too likely to work either. They sound like slightly bizarro peeps and I'd leave them to sort it out in their own inimitable bizzaro way frankly. Watch the saga unfold without participating in any way, IMO.

kama · 08/04/2005 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JoolsToo · 08/04/2005 16:25

she sound real mother material - not!

cod · 08/04/2005 16:29

Message withdrawn

elsmommy · 08/04/2005 16:32

You put the needle through the packet too! Not that I've done it, seen it on tv

JoolsToo · 08/04/2005 16:35

you pierce it through the packet cod - have you never done it then?

juniperdewdrop · 08/04/2005 16:38

she needs a turkey baster

juniperdewdrop · 08/04/2005 16:39

no cod you open the packet for him but you've already opened it b4

Not that I've done it I just fantasise a lot on other peoples behalf

cod · 08/04/2005 16:39

Message withdrawn

juniperdewdrop · 08/04/2005 16:42

If my dh doesn't get his arse to the vascectomy clinic soon there's 2 bricks waiting for him in the shed

juniperdewdrop · 08/04/2005 16:42

......and my mate who's an ex nurse watched her dh's vascectomy being done and swears she could do my dh's with some joss sticks and tweezers???

Original poster

lucyjo82 · 09/04/2005 10:13

second half, went to see her and we talked about him haveing the choice to be a dad, looked like i got through but she still has this idea that when she got home and asked him to take a risk without a condom he would say yes and jump on her, but at least i got her to see it from his side break through i thought. WRONG when round to see her in the evening she was out asked him just dropped it in the conversation like you do, he said in a couple of months (2) but he has to get use to the idea, i asked if he wanted kids yes but got 2 get used to it frist. well knowing this i tryed to get hold of her failed badly got a phone call this morning at 7.30 crying her eyes out he said "not yet" "in a couple of months" even this i am confussed about its yes or no for me black or white.

OP posts:

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