Is it mad to fear infertility?

[Lisey09]

Hi everyone!

Wondering if there is anybody else out there who worried that they might be infertile but weren't...

I've wanted a baby for as long as I can remember and finally am looking to start ttc in March. I've had the implanon implant since 2007 but before this I was on and off several different pills that I didn't get along with. I've also had several chunks of time where I didn't use any contraceptive (and didn't get pregnant).

I have an overwhelming fear that I might be infertile. I had horrific periods when I was a teenager - sickness, diarrhea, panic attacks and loss of feeling in hands and feet but though I was investigated for endometriosis, after an examination, was told there was nothing they could find to suggest it (and they refused to do a laparoscopy as I was only 17 at the time). Implanon has certainly helped but I still worry that there is something wrong and I just won't be able to have a baby. I'm also very aware that worrying about not getting pregnant will probably hinder my chances even further!

I know it sounds like madness, but has anyone else feared they were infertile and it been totally unfounded? Is this a common fear? I just don't know!

Hi Lisey09 - I saw this and couldn't not reply. I had always feared infertility - my mum had to take fertility drugs to conceive bth my older sister and me, it took my sister 5 years to conceive her DD, therefore I just assumed I would struggle to get pregnant. I used to talk to my DH about what we would do if I couldn't have children. Anyway... I came off the pill after we got married just to get my cycle sorted before we started TTC - the next month I was pregnant - I was in total shock and couldn't believe it, then after DS1 was born I went on the pill for about 12 months but came off it as I was getting really bad migraines - the next month I was pregnant again! DS1 is now 3 and DS2 is 13 months. Hope this makes you feel a little better

Thank you first steps! I hope I have the same luck!

Strangely, my mum conceived first cycle with both me and my sister, but I grew up surrounded by people who couldn't conceive naturally as she was a social worker who specialised in adoption!

I talked to her about my fears and she said she thought the same - that I might not be able to! (probably not the best thing to tell your terrified daughter!!) Which just added to my feelings.

I hope we do have a family - my man thinks we won't have any trouble at all, but it worries me lots!

hi Lisey, I think I know where your coming from. We've just started ttc a month or so ago. my mum works in family planning and I think all the talk seeped into my consciousness because I just don't believe I'll have the luck to get pregnant easily if at all. Its made me push dh into starting ttc much sooner than we otherwise might have, he's convinced we'll get pg wihtout effort, and is a bit baffled by how worried I am (but is being supportive, i think he thinks is just another part of the inexplicable 'woman' behaviour!)

I listen to my friends plan exactly when they'll have babies in absolute astonishment at their confidence it will happen like that. we're not telling a soul we're ttc because I have so little confidence it will happen to me.

lets hope all our fears are unfounded ....

Dancingqueen - it seems like we are very much on the same wavelength! All my friends just assume they will fall pregnant just as soon as they stop taking the pill! I just don't want to leave ttc until I'm in my 30s and not have time to find other options or get the money together to adopt/fund IVF etc.

My dh thinks I'm totally nuts!

(is it just my dh that thinks they have super sperm?!!!)

my dh tried to tell me not to worry by saying he was sure he had super sperm! (and he meant it seriously!).

tbh I think it's far better to be realistic about the possibility that you may have problems than complacent and think that it will happen straight away.

1 in 6 couples struggle to conceive, so the chances of having difficulty is far greater than a lot of people ever think, and so many seem to have a "it won't happen to me" attitude.

Being afraid isn't going to help you, and stress can delay ovulation etc. However I think it's healthy to be somewhere in the middle, i.e. to be realistic about the possibility that it can take a normally healthy fertile couple up to a year to conceive.

i feel the same - one minute i think i will easily be able to concieve ie in a few months, but part of me thinks it may take well over a year, esp of my age

then what happens if we cant have chldren?

do i go down the route of tests/ivf and possible have heartache at the end and no baby or do we just accept it as fate

Lisey09 I could have written your post myself! You've perfectly described exactly how I feel at the moment. I am so worried that it won't happen for us. I'm coming off the pill, after being on it for over 14 yrs at the end of May to sort my body out and hopefully see what my cycle should be like. Then we're going to TTC about 6 months after (due to DH doing a degree which finishes Feb 10).

We've had a far few 'accidents' in the last few years and still not mananged to fall PG, this worries me, that it might not happen for us. My mum and 2 of my sisters both fell PG whilst on the pill.

I'm also worried that my age will be against me. I'll be nearly 34 when we start trying.

Blondeshavemorefun - how old are you, if you don't mind me being nosy ?

Dancingqueen my dh is absolutely serious about the super sperm too!!

I really thought I was the only one who worried they might be infertile! It's reassuring to know I'm not alone. I really hope we are all wrong... Like Wannabe says, maybe it is better to be realistic but try not to worry.

I was convinced I was infertile because I'd had so many accidents in my 20s and never been pregnant. Got pregnant with my son the first month of trying (BIG shock - thought if it did happen it would take months and months).

Good luck!

Yes, I feared I was infertile.
Mainly because I suffered of pelvic infections twice, due to chlamydia. Pelvic infections can damage the fallopian tubes.
I also had long cycles, and I sort of convinced myself that it wasn't a good thing .

It took us 4 months to conceive ds and I got pg with dd on the first try.

Good luck

I've been on the pill for 10 years, and I'm a bit fearful as to what my system will be like after all that time - not because of the pill, but just because I have no idea of what my natural cycle is. I had terrible period cramps beforehand, and changed pill a couple of years ago due to bad skin, and the doctor said there was no way of knowing if this indicated an underlying problem until I came off. I've been warned that it can take up to a year to conceive, though the women in my family are pretty fertile (though none have tried for the first time in their 30s) so I think the key is just to relax and go for it without stressing.

Best of luck.

mrs mattie - that gives us hope - thank you

hobnob76 - im 35 - 36 in july

medee - i have been on the pill for 17years

i was very regular as a teenager, and was every 32 days - so thats why i need AF to come at end of month -so i have a vague idea of my cycle

as i said on another post, i havent had a period for 2 yaers as changed pill due to blood clot, so not sure when AF will visit

tbh i am not panicking yet BUT maybe in 6mths time i might be

hi
i used 2 think that before i had my son.it was something i used 2 think about day in and day out,i was trying for 4 years and it took me a year each time 2 conceive and i lost 4 at between 4-7 weeks but know have a gowrjas son,so don't give up xx

lisey - glad to know I'm not the only one with such a confident dh!

wannabe I thought your advice was lovely and balanced, its the state of mind I'm trying to get myself too... some days more successfully than others.

I do feel encouraged by some of the positive messages on here, and good luck those that are worrying

I'm just the same. I've always had irregular periods, and quite heavy ones, so for some reason I have it in my head that it is bound to be difficult. I also have other medical problems that might make it difficult to carry a baby to full-term.

We haven't exactly started TTC, but we have stopped using contraception. Only been 3 months, but I'm proving my fears right so far.

To be honest, now wouldn't really be the right time to fall pregnant - I'm still studying so wouldn't be entitled to maternity leave or anything like that - yet we are both so convinced it will be difficult that we've decided it would be a blessing and honour if it happened, even if circumstances aren't ideal.

In my head I also think the sooner I start trying, the sooner we can see the doctor to acknowledge the problems.

Is it crazy? There's no reason to suspect infertility yet I've actually changed our behaviour because deep down I feel so sure.

Interested to find others think the same.

Hi WouldLoveTo, welcome!

I've been having a look at various conception threads since I first posted on here and am feeling much better about things - it seems that many many people don't get pregnant as easily as we're all made to believe at school!!! (anyone else made to believe that a boy only needed to be within 3 foot and it might happen? )

I wouldn't worry that you haven't become pregnant in the last three months - especially if you're not actively trying. Besides, if you were on the pill, it can take a while for things to settle down.

I fully agree with you though about wanting to know sooner rather than later though so you can speak to the Dr about it.

Good luck!

Hello,

Firstly, good luck and hope you get pregnant straight away.

Secondly, I have the same fears as you. I'm a really severe hypochondriac for starters and to my absolute shock, I fell pregnant 2 years ago but at that time I couldn't think of anything I was ready for less than children and so my boyfriend and I chose to have an abortion and I have spent every single day regretting it and longing for the baby. So now we've decided to try as we're both in a much better place in every sense and now I'm shit scared that I threw away my only chance. I cry when I think about it and I'm terrified to try in case I have problems concieving.

So you're not on your own.

Good luck!

Oh for years I worried about this, I'd been lets say, less than cautious with my use of contraception over the years and never had a pregnancy or even a pregnancy scare! It took me 18 months to conceive ds, during which time I panicked like there's no tomorrow. After I'd been trying for 10 months I started having all the usual tests, even having an hsg where they inject dye in to your fallopian tubes to check they're clear. Nothing came up on any of the tests. After all my worrying I think I'm actually rather fertile and just didn't know my cycle terribly well.

I spoke to a friend yesterday about how I hoped to have my implant removed so that I could spend the time between now and March (when we intend to start TTC) getting to grips with my cycle as I hoped to follow the Deanna Plan...

Now I feel like a loony as she told me that I should just have fun and not take it all so seriously (I did point out that this was easy for her to say as she has a child that was conceived totally unexpectedly)... what do you all think?

I didn't think it was odd to plan it so carefully - I really want a baby and if we just ceased with contraception and let nature take its course - wouldn't that make me worry more if nothing happened?!

Etcha... try not to be too hard on yourself, you did get pregnant and there is a good chance it will happen again. Maybe if you do, you will feel better about what happened in the past.

I do hope this thread continues and we are all proved just a big bunch of worry heads! Maybe we should all have more faith in the Super Sperm!!!