Assisted conception and the bits inbetween Part Two!.......

[spook]

Hi everyone.
New thread starts here....

Hiya Spook went to clinic today bad news only have 4 follicles growing 2 of which are of decent sizes 10 and 11, nurse says that we need to get them to at least 17 am booked in for another scan on friday morn and they will assess from there the option we have at the mo is that if we proceed on the basis of the 2 larger follicles and i go on for EC and they find no eggs in them 2 folls then my treatment is no longer funded and i will have to start paying privately. If we decide at that stage to abandon then treatment is still funded by NHS and i will restart process on a different protocol she said that we would let my hormones work for themselves and take i think Buserelin and Puregon at same time but cant really remember cause it was alot to take in and obviously was a bit upsetting. Made it harder when i got back to work as i teared a little bit and when they asked me if i was ok i was welling up again. It is alot harder to explain to someone at work how you are feeling when most of them got kids and 2 be honest would not understand what we are going thru and all i could think is that they are pitying me which i dont want. I am just praying for a miracle between now and friday and am so hoping that i dont have to abandon and that everything will be ok as we ave enough stress on with the wedding etc. Hi to everyone else

That's great news Pinkie.
Lottie, no sign of AF yet. Grr! Now don't forget to keep your feelings packed away in a trunk in your mind, also best to drown them in alcohol.
It must be pretty scary all that therapy, do you feel it is helping you yet?
Nappy, I can't wait to hear how you get on, and not long now.
Roseca I know what you mean, I am pathetic about confiding in colleagues, in case they feel sorry for us. I know it's my problem and they would be so supportive.
I hope it goes well for Friday, you only need one good one remember.

cheers londonlottie and rowingboat Well from what the fertility nurse said if i go to the LGI for EC and it unsuccessful ie no eggs then it means that if i start again it will be on a fee paying basis. If we abandon on friday according to nurses the next cycle is still funded by NHS as i havent gone the full course, it is something that i will ave to discuss with the Consultant and DH. heres hoping that friday is good news and not glum, its so hard to talk to some people at work as 2 are off on maternity leave at mo 1 of them just aving baby on sunday and other one due anytime and also another colleague is pregnant n due in June, at the very beginning when they just got preg one of them found it hard to tell me as she knew what i was going thru but although envy rears its ugly head you still have to happy for them even though you are absolutely gutted its not you sharing gud news i know they mean well but alot of people know we are going thru IVF and it makes it hard when they ask how things are going - honest answer is pretty shit

i just think i am having a bad day

Oh roseca, I completely understand sweetheart.And it must be so hard hiding your feelings at work. I should imagine as soon as someone is even remotely nice to you, you feel like howling on their shoulder.
I'm lucky in that respect-never had to hide it from anyone other than DS's (which was hard on them when I was being a she devil) but even DS1 knows now because I thought it was only fair he knew what was going on.
Listen....at my first scan my follies were all less then 10.I was really upset. At my next scan less than a week later they were all over 27 Mahoosive bloody follies.
So, it is feasible that you'll get somewhere I promise. But the dilema of whether to go ahead with the treatment is a real toughie (and bloody unfair...what a shitty position to put you both in)
I think in your circumstances I would have to go with what the consultant advises...they have far more experience. But if you feel in your heart of hearts that you want to give it a try then you must. You really don't want any what ifs. (don't know who I'm trying to kid...I would obviously disregard anything the healthcare professional tried to advise me and go for it anyway)
Can you afford a cycle yourself is also a big factor??? And will you be restarting immediatly on the back of whats already there, or will you have to have a break?
God-it's not easy is it.
Morning everyone. If you don't hear from me again its because I'm banged up for murdering my DH. What a bloody grumpy patient he makes. He's pulled muscles in his shoulder and sides ( doctor reckons its where they yanked him off the trolley when he was in theatre, which makes me v cross) and is in ALOT of pain, so am really trying to be sympathetic but aagghhh (Spook does a silent scream so as not to wake house)
Thanks for mail Lottie. WIll reply today.
I bet you're walking taller by the day, the amount of stuff you're offloading. What a perfect time in your life to deal with things too. Glad you're enjoying it.

Congrats OAP ! I am so happy for you, and love your description of not being able to sit down.

So sorry Mowmi, you must be SOO disapointed. And Spook - what a trauma - it puts my own disappearing follicles/no egg collection into perspective.

Soosy, I hope you do do another cycle, if only to have your fountain of knowledge visiting us more often.

LL I am in the same boat - 6 weeks now since my bleed after failed cycle - and don't know what is going on re ovulation, I seem to have had PMT for 4 weeks????

Am just recovering from my Sisters wedding which involved about 60 relatives/friends at the beach for 5 nights! It was a marathon . .. but very distracting . . . am just starting to think about all this again, and it's been nice to have a break.

Roseca - for what it's worth a similar thing happened to me on my first cycle - we ended up abandoning it. I was doing long protocol (down regging - then stims) but my ovaries didn't wake up properly so the follicles were really, really small. My consultant told me not to go any further - in our case she said it would have been sooo expensive to keep stimmimg and we would probably only yeild a couple at best at the end. We took the advise and stopped. I was allowed to start again pretty quickly, we swapped to an antagonist cycle (no down regging, works with your cycle - start stims on day 3 I think?) - much quicker, and we got something like 13 good eggs - 9 of which fertilised (i think - it was a good old crop anyway). See what happens on Friday but take their advice - It only takes one so If money isn't an issue then you might want to crack on but this is such a hard process, I think I'd be inclined to hold back until the odds are back in your favour. I know it's so disappointing - I was devestated when they used the words abandon cycle but you do get past it I promise. Sorry for sticking my nose in - just wanted you to hear from someone who's been there. I sending you lots of growing vibes so you can tell me where to stick my advice (in a nice way) on Friday.

I'm not too bad ladies, picking myself up and licking my wounds (sauv blanc is a wonderful pick me up) I've already made a follow appointment to see what they suggest next time.

Hello to everyone else - OAP you managed to sit down yet?

mowmi i with you for medicinal purposes only infact will be joining you tonight as its cd1 and called clinic to book ivf cycle for this month.

londonlottie you go girl, i cant be bothered with the running thing at the mo so have taken to walking round the park with the dog.

Hi to everyonen else

Hi everyone, just popping in, but am laughing at your silent scream Spook. You can begin to experience compassion fatigue can't you. It is a horrible thing for you poor DH to go through, but you have been through the wars as well. I know easier said than done, but take it easy and have chippie suppers so you don't have to wash up until things are normal.

Lottie have a good run!

Hi everyone spook and mowmi and not forgetting londonlottie thanks to you all of you for your encouraging words, i am feeling better today but agree will go with what the Consultant says even though i already had a feeling that it wouldnt go according to plan. Things can only get better though and i suppose they say things happen for a reason too.......

Hi just popping in again belatedly because I skimmed over you spook and I had a similar experience. I had three follicles on my first cycle, two good and one smaller. I got two embryo's from them - one of which was grade 1, 8 cell.

One thing you might suggest is going to IUI and paying privately (maybe at another clinic). The Dr I was seeing at the time was of the opinion that there was minimal difference in outcome and that this was the course of action he would have taken if I was private, but as I was funded (and not being threatened with not being funded again) we went ahead with the EC for diagnostic purposes. It was actually this outcome that then got me a third cycle (after an abandoned second) as they said that often 2 embryos is the result of many more eggs, so I wasn't necessarily less likely than those who produced more eggs to begin with.

Keep on running LL. My toe is playing up so I am making DP accompany me on ocean laps of our beach (sharks won't come if you are together).

Anyway . . . that's my 2 pence worth (or cents over here)

Hi all, thanks for all your lovely messages. It means so much as I can't tell anyone in RL yet (other than DH obviously) and I really really want to! So this is my only outlet, so your congratulations - particularly coming from the place where we all are - mean so much.

Anyway, another test yesterday morning on my official test date and I was so worried that it would just say Not Pregnant You Stupid Deluded Woman, but it didn't, so I've called the clinic and arranged a scan for 3 weeks time. I've also been super efficient and got my lovely GP to prescribe Cyclogest for me for the next 8 weeks, saving a bundle on this. I still can't sit down, or relax, I'm just so happy and it feels like everything has fallen into place for us. Having said that, I'm looking forward to getting the scan over and done with as I always expect to get bad news at these things - experience from years of infertility tests I guess.

Anyway, Sooty laps of the beach? Really? I'm looking at a muddy garden, in the cold foggy drizzle, knowing I have to take the dogs out on the moor later on today. Walking on the moor may sound romantic in a Cathy/Heathcliff kind of way, but rest assured it isn't, at least not when walking two thick labradors who want to chase/shag/roll in everything and one toddler whose aim in life appears to be jumping in the biggest puddles she can find, repeatedly. On Monday I had the lovely situation of DD running fast toward the cattle grid, one dog having caught a diseased rabbit that was still squeaking and the other dog on the lead making valiant attempts to play tug-of-war with the rabbit to help it on its way. And then, once I'd got two out of three penned in the car, the dog-with-now-deceased-rabbit wouldn't let go of it and was trying to get it in the car. There I am, thinking that I really really don't want to wrestle this rabbit out of the dog's mouth as it is crawling with wee beasties, thinking what am I going to do? I phoned DH, who was crying with laughter and then helpfully put me on speakerphone for the entertainment of the entire floor at Canary Wharf. That is what I call support!

spook sorry your DH is still ill and not being a textbook patient. Have you tried the overloading technique as I find this really really works for me when I'm at the point of losing it - you gather up fresh cups of tea/coffee, glass of water, tasty snacks, new magazines/books by favourite people, make sure he has remote controls for everything, painkillers etc - basically smother with kindliness and thoughfulness. Then you can leave him to soak up all the niceness whilst you leave the house quietly.

lottie how are you doing? Do you have dates yet for the start of your next cycle? I had to laugh at your Moderate Poorlyness Syndrome as it did ring bells. Good news on your possible ovulation this month too.

Roseca how are you? Any decisions yet or will you wait until Friday's scan? So difficult to know what to do.

Rattling April will be here before you know it, it is practically Feb already and look how short that is. And don't forget that spring/summer IVF cycles to statistically have a better chance of working.

Rattling wow, two heartbeats! Such lovely news for you. Congralations

Hello lovely fellow baby craving (and baby carrying for graduates) ladies.

Lottie running!! Am v v v v v impressed at braving horrible acid dirty yucky London drizzle. V brave. good news on temp jump hope it is sustained.

Sooty sounds like your sisters wedding was quite an affair!! Glad you had fun and it took your mind off things.

roseca I feel your frustrations. It is nice to know that others have experienced similar and they are not all doom and gloom. I have been thinking of your follicles and sending them grow vibes! I think you are right to listen to the consultant, as they have seen it all by now. Just because your body has not responded well this time, would not mean it would not another - particularly when you factor in wedding stress. Don't be disheartened if it is not good news, but the most expensive bit of the procedure is the EC, so that would be why the NHS count that as the cut off. I sympathise with trying to deal with work colleagues. I am lucky this time round, that most of my friends are mums and I have been quite open about not getting pregnant again (first 18mths of trying was hard though) and now they all get really nervous about telling me they are pregnant AGAIN! We have not told DS, but he is still little, however he frequently asks me for a baby sister!!

issy sorry you have to wait even longer.Is that because it is NHS funded, or is the clinic just really busy?

my news....
Been to clinic today for a scan as I FINALLY got my LH surge (day 19 I mean really you would think my hormones were unionised the speed they work) they want to rescan on Saturday to make sure egg has really hatched (9am appointment! luckily I live less than a mile away) and then are going for FET (frozen embryo transfer) on Monday !!

I am always amazed at how these things suddenly happen with assisted conception. 1 minute you are waiting 2 months for an appointment the next in 2 weeks time you could be looking at a BFP !!![GRIN]

Right got to do some work before collecting DS and his friend from preschool.

It depends on how they freeze them. Unfortunately ours are frozen in pairs, as we put back 2 embryos last time. So we have 2 pairs of frosties.

They will defrost 1 pair and if viable will take the best one. If not they will defrost the second pair.

We are only putting in 1 embryos this time.

I can't help thinking that this cycle might actually work (setting myself up for a fall I know), but I am leaving it up to God, as there is b**r all I can do about it!

It is a win win kind of. If I am not pg then we will prob go to Australia for 4 weeks in the summer and if I am then we will go to Croatia instead! (I don't fancy a 24hr flight while v pregnant!!)

That sounds like a great situation Nappy, one of two lovely holidays and minimal horrible hormone tweaking. Fingers crossed for the defrost!
Lottie, yay for the temp rise. Does it take a while to get back to normal after IVF? That's great with the running.
I have just come back from a counselling skills short course via work and can relate to your feeling drained. By the end of the day I felt as if my brain has been liquidised.
OAP - that sounds like a very trying situation, but it would be very hard to keep a straight face. You can never see too many positive tests can you!
Sooty, that does sound very nice - the ocean laps. I think I heard something on the radio about it being hot in OZ, something to do with tennis and both players being pooped.
My news is still no AF, not sure if this is the cyst or something else.
Have been googling furiously and it may be because the cyst stops normal production of progesterone or something. No word from the gynae and no word from my clinic.
It's a bit frustrating.

Evening all OAP we have more or less decided that we will abandon on friday if the follices havent doubled in quantity or grown in size and start again cheers nappyvalley for sending the vibes, quite bizzare thing is i keep looking down at my kebab belly and rubbing my sides in circular motion willing the follices too grow too, if you saw me you would think i was a fruitcake ha. I have got so many questions forming in my head that i have to write down to ask the fertility nurses and/or consultant tomorrow such as if we abandon now do we start on next period or would it cause a problem if we waited a couple of months and with the different protocol they are using will i still continue to inject with Buserlin and/or continue on Puregon etc. I cant remember who it was that was going on about on here but ages ago i purchased a digital ovulation predictor kit and never used it (cause i couldnt fathom it) although i did open it to have a look so it is free to a good home if anyone wants it (all i want is postage and packaging for it) cost me £20 approx. Will let you know how i got on tomorro evening as i am straight back to work after the clinic.

welcome to the group gillydaffodil everyone here is really nice dont be afraid to ask any questions. In terms of diet etc, been told lots of protein, cut down on caffiene and take pregnacare during the course of the treatment, also someone mentioned taking Aspirin on a daily basis but i not too sure whether we should be taking during course of IVF medication.

Hi Gilly, hope things work out for you. Like the rest of us, you seem to have been through the mill to get to this point. For what to do during IVF, there are so many things on the internet that are supposed to improve your chances that you could end up eating only seaweed (organic of course) if you aren't careful. I tend to carry on as normal during downregging - and given this was over Christmas for me recently, "normally" included a fair amount of white wine, and then stop with the alcohol once stims start. I only drink fairly weak tea anyway, and don't change that. Take antenatal vitamins, and eat a varied healthy diet.

Lottie sounds like you are all set to go for end of March then -should you need to of course! Bet the time flies between now and then for you

Nappy goodness that has come around quickly for you - I suppose that is what happens with FET cycles. Good luck with the defrosting anyway. If the embryos are frozen in pairs, what will you do in the rather remote chance both embryos are equally viable on the day?

rowingboat how frustrating that no one has got back to you, kind of leaves you hanging around not knowing what to do next. Have you tried searching on the fertility friends website at all, as I have found it useful sometimes in these circumstances.

Hope everyone else is well and keeping warm on this rather unpleasant night. I was staggered to find that on the moors today it was not only foggy, but there was an icy wind as well. Fog and wind together???

where do you live then OAP you mention the moors

where do you live then OAP you mention the moors