Hubby has changed his mind

[makemineagecko]

When we first got together, dh and I both agreed we wanted 4dc as we both come from large families (11 siblings between us!)

However, after dd2, dh 'thinks' he has changed his mind. I know we are VERY lucky to have 2 dc already, and that some people would be so thankful to have just one child, so I probably sound selfish. But I do feel a bit duped. We made a plan for the future and he's changed it all. He wants me to work FT instead. (I already work FT now, but finish my contract in July)

So, is there anyting I could do? Or just be grateful and accept his decision? How did you come to the decision it was the right time to TTC? Perhaps in time he will change his mind, who knows

Makemine, I feel for you so much. I am in exactly the same position although we have 5 dc's already and dh chqnged his mind mid ttc #6

I just wanted to say I don't think you are being selfish, yes i know there are people in the world in who would be grateful for 1 child, but that's not you, and you cannot help your feelings.

I don't really have any constructive advice i'm afraid as i'm still devastated about my dh's decision, plus i had a mc on Xmas eve, so that's still fresh in my mind.

All i can say is please keep the lines of communication open with your dh. Try not to make him feel cornered, or forced into anything. I am working on the how fab having a large family is, and tbh, we've had a lovely stress free Christmas, even inc the mc, and the fact that this has all come about since beg of Dec.
In the beg it was very hard for me to even look at dh as i felt as you do that he'd pulled the rug our from under all our plans for our lives, and such like but I'm really really trying to carry on as normal in the hope that he may just change his mind back again.

How adamant is he that he's finished having children? Has he talked about long term contraception for example?

I really hope you can come to an agreement about this, because it really can come between couples and if everything else is fab, then that would be a real shame.

[hey listen to your own advice emoticon]

Hope you're ok. x

Ah liahgen- sorry to hear about your mc, that is very sad. I'm glad you still managed to have an enjoyable Christmas though.

Dh just won't talk about having dc3 anymore, if I bring it up, even joking in conversation, he completely ignores me or changes the subject.

He faces a lot of critiscm from his family about money, ie. he doesn't earn as much as any of his siblings (however, between us we bring in a pretty damn good wage ) So when we announced we were expecting dd2, his family's first reaction was, 'can you afford it?', not congratulations or anything. So I think he is worried about his parents' reaction tbh which I think is ridiculous, but it's how he feels.

Apart from money, I can't see any other reason not to try for another.

Even if he said, 'let's wait 2 years then see how we are financially etc' then I could deal with that, I think it's his total refusal to discuss it that's getting me down.

That said, I've told him I'd like to work PT from July when I finish my FT contract, and he is refusing to acknoweldge that situation either