Help: So sad that AF arrived yesterday

[MoreThanChocolate]

Hate to admit how sorry for myself I feel.

Just want to cry - should have been 14 weeks pg now with much longed for 1st baby but mc at 5-6 weeks in Oct.

This was our first month of ttc again and we got BFN after I had convinced myself of symptoms.

How do I learn to keep my cool?

Oh..I'm so sorry for you - I know exactly how you feel....
I think you just have to convince yourself it WILL happen one day and try not to test before you are due on and also try not symptom check too much.....you will most probably get a bfp the next tme you are feeling certain you are not pregnant!!

Also..iknow it's so hard not to do the ovulation checks etc but just have sex/make love often and whenever you want ...don't make it a babymaking mission every time..it soon gets to you both.

Also if it's any consolation lots of women feel this way around the time of their period after a m/c. When your baby would have been due will be a difficult time too. Your body has a sort of memory for these things and your hormones go bonkers.

Take care

Oh good luck. I know how disappointing it is. Just try and be patient.

Similar for me so I know how you feel I don't think there are any words that help - sad and lonely as it seems, you just have to get to the other side and you will.

I've stopped counting how many weeks pg I should have been - mc at 11+4 on Nov 11th.

I had EWCM and thought I felt ovulation and was excited to have caught the egg and be on another 2WW but started bleeding the next day - really light at first so hoped for implantation bleed and felt symptoms but it has gone on and one - day 7 now so I guess this is the biatch that is AF and it really DOES bring it all back. She should not be here. I should be giving birth to my first baby at the end of May

Hi MoreThan
I know exactly how you are feeling. I also miscarried in October, I was told at 9 weeks that my baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks, my body seemed to be in denial and after waiting another week to see nature would take it's course I had to undergo a ERPC. Last month I experienced heavy bleeding and clotting and was rushed back into hospital where tests showed that a small amount of "tissue"(?) had remained after the op. I was assured that it would pass naturally as I bled.
I have such mixed emotions about trying again, I am terrified of history repeting itself and don't feel strong enough for the heartache each month when AF arrives (we tried for the best part of a year for the baby we lost and every month the bitter dissapointment was worse than the last). On the other hand I desperatly want to become pregnant and can't bear the thought of not having a bump by what would have been my due date in May. This is heightened by the fact that I have a couple of friends who are due around that time. Anyway dh and I decided to start trying again straight away (halfheartedly as I really don't feel like making merry!). AF was due last week but I've done countless pregnancy test and they've all clearly shown negative (not even a hint of the palest line). To be honest I don't feel pregnant and I know it's probably my cycle getting back on track which is causing me to be late but I feel like I'm going insane. Until AF rears her ugly head I can't help clinging onto the faint hope that I could be pregnant again but I know that if I was and all the tests were showing up as negative my hgc levels must be practically non-existent therefore it would be unlikly that this pregnancy would be viable either and I'd probably be in for a repeat of the ERPC.
Anyway sorry about the long post, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and we can go through this together. It turned into me feeling sorry for myself instead of offering support like I intended!!!
I really hope it happens for us both very soon and by this time next year we'll be preparing for christmas with our beautiful new bundles of joy! x

JingleJools sorry to hear that you're also in the "Due in May Miscarriage Club"!

Hi, and so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I know it is not the same, but I have also spent the day crying after getting AF. Had also convinvced self of symptoms. it is such emotional hard work, this whole thing, isn't it. Best of luck for next time, hon. Big hugs. x

oh everyone thanks so much for your replies - it really helps to speak with people who understand. My DH cuddled me all evening as I cried and I love him to bits for his patience with me.

Last night I dreamed I left my baby in a nursery and when it was time to collect him I couldn't find my way there and I kept walking and looking and walking and looking -so I even woke up in a state this morning.

Hope I can be of help to you all sometime, thanks so much for listening.

We are going to family for Christmas and New Year. Hopefully the break will help take my mind off it. But then in fact we will probably be ttc silently at my parents house!!!

Best christmas baby dust to all those ttc x