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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Funniest bit of trying to concieve.

12 replies

Thandeka · 15/12/2008 11:56

I keep getting the giggles about all the comedic mishaps that befall us while TTC.

for example:

Waking up at 4am thinking it was 7am and taking my temp- thus waking DH with the annoying beeps- then going to loo realising it is in fact 4am and realising I need to save my wee for the persona test as it was technically first morning wee. Found a plastic cup weed in it and stored it under the loo and went back to sleep. Very grumpy DH gets up at 7am before me and nearly kicks my pot of wee over- he was so not impressed!

Also using pre-seed applicators which have a long thing nozzle but usually find there is too much in one so only used half and chucked the half on my bedside table during BD-ing- forgot about it- next morning very nearly stuck it in my mouth thinking it was my thermometer!

Another pre-seed story was the horrendous squelch as inserted (Putting DH) right off then as I was trying to see if I had got it all in managed to squirt rest all over me.

Listening to a pre-conception hypnosis cd and crying with laughter at the womans thick northern accent waxing lyrical about a beeyooteeful bearbee and velvet womb lining.

Considering using my mooncup for helping keep sperm in for if we BD in the morning- so sterilised it in microwave- forgot about it- poor squeamish DH found it- again not impressed!

Oh and last night starting to get jiggy and somehow stuck my thumb hard into DH's eye- proceedings had to stop for a while while we both cried with laughter and then checked he wasnt blind!)

(Bless him my DH puts up with a lot!)

Please post all your daft stories here- some of us could do with some lighthearted relief about TTC methinks.

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lastboxoftampons · 15/12/2008 12:19

No stories to add, but wanted to let you know that they also sell pre-seed in a refillable applicator that screws on to a multiple use tube (instead of the pre-packaged one-use ones) and we found it so much easier to use! You can determine how much or how little you need by inserting it like a syringe. Also, the applicator is much longer and thinner, allowing you to get it up to where it needs to go. DH didn't like the "squelch" either! BFP first month using the refillable applicator kind! Good luck!

Thandeka · 15/12/2008 12:37

Yeah I got that one now too- just using up the last of the squelchy kind (is it just me or to the single use ones also try and suction your fanjo back down the applicator because of the vacuum created!? not comfy!)

Disappointed in no stories to add- is it really just me in the disaster conception zone!?

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Thandeka · 15/12/2008 12:38

Oh and congrats on the BFP! you should go read the "funniest bits of childbirth thread on the childbirth section- they had me crying with laughter!

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AndATigerschickInAPearTree · 15/12/2008 12:42

The only one I can think of is when I'd done a hpt and kept it to show DH.
I left it on the side by the back door but my parents came round before DH got home so I bunged it in the nearest drawer, which was the 'bits drawer', and forgot about it ... until, about an hour later, my mum went to get some sellotape out of said 'bits drawer'. Cue me leaping like a mad woman across the kitchen and hurling myself against the drawer front while saying "No, no, I'll get it for you ..."
DH was PHSL in the hall as he knew what I'd done while my poor folks thought I'd gone completely mad

Hope that counts

beanieb · 15/12/2008 12:47

I wish I could find something funny about TTC!

Thandeka · 15/12/2008 12:48

haha! Parents! My dad wanted to come and stay last month on the weekend i was ovulating. Obviously I REALLY didn't want him to so fobbed him off with some really crap excuse which somehow turned into he comes to stay too much and we need our space (he doesnt and we dont really!)- he is still not speaking to me properly! ooops!

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Thandeka · 15/12/2008 12:53

That is kind of why I started this Beanieb- I hate it and its horrible but also I need to look on the bright side and cheer myself up with the lighthearted side of things.

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beanieb · 15/12/2008 20:26

arrghh - sorry I feel like I killed the thread with my mardy attitude I'm sorry.

I keep leaving my fertility monitor in the middle of the bathroom so when visitors come round they kind of get the gist that we're trying even though we don't tell them. Am waiting for someone to ask me what it is, and am thinking of amusing ways to explain! Am wondering if I can pass it off as a ex-toy

mummiesnet · 15/12/2008 20:33

This is a bit yuck, but....

My friend came to stay the weekend I was ovulating and we just thought it'd be really rude to BD with her in the next room (plus thin walls).

So....DH did the business in a jar and I, um, inserted it with a pre-seed applicator

Got my BFP that month though so can't possible regret it!!!

sumomum · 15/12/2008 20:47

Sorry to hijack but what is preseed and where can you buy it? Been TTC for 18 months with no joy so willing to try anything!

Thandeka · 15/12/2008 21:10

haha mummiesnet that is brilliant! We so should have done that- not sure my DH would manage to ahem even get it in a jar though with thought of my dad next door! haha.

Preseed is sperm friendly lubricant and is a replacement for if you have little ewcm. You can get it amazon, ebay, access diagnostics. Have tried it last month but no BFP for me yet but working on it!

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beanieb · 15/12/2008 22:23

Sumomum, pre-seed is a sperm friendly lubricant which is good because it acts like Egg white cervical mucus and helps the sperm on its way. I have bought it from ebay.

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