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Conception

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Trying to manage feelings of infertility and failed fertility treatment.

1 reply

AllwaysDoingSomething · 10/12/2008 12:25

I?m really unsure where to post this or even if I should, but hopefully just getting some thought down with have a cathartic effect on my head.

A few weeks ago I had a negative result from a 2nd Frozen Embryo Transfer. I was devastated, more so that the first. This time I really thought we had cracked it. The embryos were better quality, I was healthier and more relaxed than last time and it just felt right. Sadly my period arrived earlier than it should and I feel so angry that even with a medicated cycle I couldn?t make it to test day without bleeding.

I can?t help thinking back to this time last year, when I was in the middle of the 1st IVF cycle, the enthusiasm I had, the positive feelings that in a few weeks I could be pregnant etc. It?s a long way from where I feel now. I used to post on another board and I went back there today to see that a number of women are either pregnant with their 2nd child or in the middle of another cycle with a small toddler in tow. I?m angry with myself that I?m still trying for my first. I know going back there would be painful, I knew I would feel this way, its almost as though I enjoy feeling this way, because I couldn?t stop myself reading their posts.

I have friends who got pregnant without trying. Friends who got pregnant early in relationships that ended before the baby was born. I?m so jealous of these women. It hurts so much to hear details of their blossoming pregnancy and their children?s lives, I drink up every detail, can?t wait to hear the next bit of news. It hurts, knowing they have a child that I so desperately want. Hearing about their pg and children hurts me, yet I can?t stop asking, almost like I want to hurt myself. I imagine myself in their position, sometimes mentally criticising their parenting and lifestyle choices.

I did see a counsellor at my clinic for one session after I felt I couldn?t move on from a cancelled embryo transfer due to OHSS. I?m not sure if she helped, if I?m beyond help, or if what I?m feeling in normal.

OP posts:
happyfaceschildcare · 10/12/2008 16:09

Hi there,
I'm not going through the same thing as you so hope I don't sound patronising but I just wanted to let you know that you are completely normal to be feeling this way, I have hormone imbalances and am unable to concieve at the moment hopefully my problem will get better over time and I will be able to concieve but I am so jealous of my sister in law who just keeps popping out unplanned babies every year ( so don't feel bad about that, and I've read that failed ivf can bring on the same feelings as a miscarrage so you are entitled to feel very low it's so hard when people are always telling you to stay positive and you just feel like everything is out of your control so how can you, maybe more counciling will help you'll have to give it some time, have you tried acupuncture of reflexology ? I couldn't afford acupuncture but have heard it can really help, I have been having reflexology for a few weeks now and it is helping it's relaxing me and putting me in a better mind state so maybe worth a try.
Good luck to you I hope you get the baby you obviously deserve. )

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