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Conception

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2 under 2

8 replies

fleacircus · 22/10/2008 14:12

DD is 9.5mths, for lots of reasons we've decided that we'd like a second baby sooner rather than later. Not quite starting TTC yet but soon! Anyone else planning a second? Anyone got experience of 2 under 2 who can help strengthen my resolve? Dreading the pregnancy/toddler combination!

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misshardbroom · 22/10/2008 16:49

I had 3 under 3 - there's 15 months between the first two and 16 months between the second.

It's possibly the most mind-blowingly difficult and yet completely fantastic thing I've ever done in my life, and if I had my time over again, I think I'd probably go for the same gap.

The low points:

I did feel a bit as though I was missing out on dd's babyhood as I was already expecting ds1 by the time she was 7 months old. I was also still bf dd so that was quite hard to combine with the early stages of being pg, although there's a lot of advice out there if that applies to you. In the late stages, it was hard work running round after a toddler while being the size of a whale myself, but it doesn't last forever.

None of my children have been great sleepers so it was absolutely knackering - I know some people manage to synchronise their daytime sleeps but I never achieved that with any of them! Oh, and obviously you're in double buggy territory, although we managed two overseas holidays with a 1 year old and a baby, so it can't have been that bad! The other thing I remember is being asked constantly whether it was planned, which I thought was incredibly rude.

The high points:

All of mine, but especially the older two, are really really close. None of them have any memory of a life without each other, and it's lovely watching how closely bonded they are. It's also pretty easy to entertain them now they're older as they're all at the same stage at the same time so they enjoy the same books / films / days out.

It also means you get the baby bit out of the way in one fell swoop. Although it is, as my DH calls it, 'extreme parenting', it does mean that you're not trying to manage the school run with a new baby, for example.

I wrote an item for our local NCT magazine about this very subject, so if you're in need of more convincing / dissuading, then CAT me and I'll willingly send it to you!

rainbowdays · 22/10/2008 19:49

Had 15 months between my first two, tiring, but the best thing ever. They are very close and never any jealousy issues. I would say go for it!

insywinsyspider · 22/10/2008 21:09

I've got 19 months between my first two and expecting dc3 in June - not quite 3 under 3 as ds1 will be 3yrs 1 month but close

I've enjoyed having them close as misshardbroom said its hard but you do get all the baby stuff done and dusted, there is 15 mo between me and my bro and dh and his bro so we always knew we wanted a small gap as we both have fab relationships with our brothers

the major low point for me is the constant guilt I'm not giving each child enough quality time as I know of people with 1 dc my ds1's age who are doing amazingly creative stuff during the day and the idea of getting painting stuff out with a 2.5 yr old and a 10mo fills me with dread! I'm also refereeing constantly as they both want the same toy and the day ds2 got his hands in the potty and smeared poo on carpet was a low point too! (obviously I can laugh about it now!)

high point is I can already see they are playing with each other, ds1 is incredibly kind to ds2, ds2 adores his older bro, I'm also looking forward to the fact they will be very similar developmentally so for example day trips to kids farms etc will suit them both

misshardbroom - could I have a look at your article too?

kayzisexpecting · 22/10/2008 21:11

My DS is 19 months old and DC2 is due in 7 weeks so I will have 2 under 2. I imagine it will be hard but I really wanted them to be quite close together in age.

insywinsyspider · 22/10/2008 21:21

kayzisexpecting - good luck! it is great fun and hard work all rolled into one think the only reassuring thing I can say is having 19mo between first two didn't put me off as going for 18months between next two!

misshardbroom · 22/10/2008 23:27

insywinsy... would be delighted to send you the piece to read (not exactly Pulitzer prize winning stuff, you understand!) but when I tried to CAT you, it said I couldn't.

If you can CAT me, or change your message options, then I'll post it over.

fleacircus · 23/10/2008 12:05

All the positives I'm hoping for! I know it's going to be hard (love the phrase 'extreme parenting', BTW) but worth it surely? My other first time mum friends all think I'm crazy so it's really good to hear some alternative views. That's it, we're going for it!

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fleacircus · 23/10/2008 12:07

Misshardbroom, can I have the article please?

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