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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Starting cycle 14 ttc No 1 - being realistic it isn't ever going to happen is it?

17 replies

ClaireDeLoon · 16/10/2008 21:55

Is it? So fed up with it all.

I honestly thought it would never take this long. I'm very close to just giving up. Not even bothering with fertility clinic etc. It's just all too fucking horrible.

Come tell me if you've managed to conceive after so long.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 16/10/2008 21:58

Don't give up hope. I may well happen naturally yet.

DD took a while to come - about 14/15 month, then sadly an early mc, and then another 14/15 month TTC period.

It's been over a year - I would recommend the fertility clinic. I didn;t with DD, but have done whilst TTC for #2 (been over 4 years now) and the tests put my mind at ease. Now on Clomid so seeing if that works.

bran · 16/10/2008 22:03

Are there any problems that you know about (eg PCOS, overweight)? It might be a good idea to have some fertility tests done anyway, as Hulababy said it will put your mind at ease if nothing's wrong. If the tests do show up some problems then at least you know what you have to work with.

It is very dispiriting though, I know. It also seemed to suck all the joy out of sex when we were TTC.

Original poster

ClaireDeLoon · 16/10/2008 22:08

I am overweight yes, have been going to weightwatchers but it is coming off so slowly. Have the forms for the blood tests but things like holidays at the wrong time of my cycle then me breaking my foot have meant haven't got to the hospital - will go for my CD2 test tomorrow though as DP can drive me.

It is just so awful. I know I'm just massively feeling sorry for myself but I honestly believe it won't happen.

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georgimama · 16/10/2008 22:11

Claire, is there any chance you have PCOS or that your husband has low sperm count? We have both. Were trying for over a year, got private tests done and he was given diet and exercise (plus Wellman) to improve sperm production and I was put on Metformin. PG 3 months later.

Go to GP and lie about how long you have been trying, or sell everything that isn't bolted down and go private. It didn't cost us that much (less than £500).

Original poster

ClaireDeLoon · 16/10/2008 22:20

We don't need to lie Georgiemama as we're both over 35. I don't know about PCOS - I have regular periods, did get pregnant and mc'd this is the 14th cycle since.

I bought an online test kit for DP and it showed OK (I know there is more to it than just the sperm count but I figured if he thought he was OK he'd be more relaxed and also more confident about going for his own tests when the time came). He's also good about taking his zinc.

I know it is all about getting on and getting tests and getting appointments, I just hate what it is doing to me emotionally. I hate letting DP down every month.

OP posts:

bran · 16/10/2008 22:23

If weightwatchers is only working slowly have you considered trying a low GI diet instead? I know that the hardliners (and usually naturally thin) say that all you need to do to loose weight is eat a bit less and exercise a bit more, but honestly different metabolisms respond better to some diets than to others. I know that WW was horribly slow for me, and I later found out that it doesn't really suit women with PCOS as well as some other diets like South Beach or GI.

You poor thing breaking your foot. I'm sure that doesn't help either your mood or your weight. It's hard to keep going when it doesn't seem to be working, but it's definitely too early a stage to give up yet. Have some investigations done then at least you will know more, and then find out what your options are.

Something that I learned to do when I was having IVF, which helped keep my spirits up, was not to obsess about it. You really have to practice, have a plan of things to do or think about and then when you catch yourself dwelling on your situation do something to take your mind off it. It's really hard at first, but it gets easier as you practice. Make sure you have some 'busy' things to hand, like a book or sudoku puzzles or someone to phone. And have some thoughts for when you're lying in bed trying to sleep, I used to design my ideal house right down to the placement of light switches.

hester · 16/10/2008 22:25

I conceived dd after 14 months. I was beginning to give up hope (I was 40).

I don't think 14 months means you should give up. I do think it means you should start getting serious with investigations etc. Well done for persisting with the weight loss - it really well help.

Good luck.

MadamDeathstare · 16/10/2008 22:27

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MadamDeathstare · 16/10/2008 22:28

This reply has been deleted

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georgimama · 16/10/2008 22:29

You're right, those off the shelf tests can be reassuring for men (or not, for my DH) but they only tell you about sperm count, not sperm motility or quality, and that's what you need rather than loads of the little critters.

Google symptoms of PCOS and you may be surprised - you may identify some of your own traits and symptoms (including being overweight).

I know a girl who had a MC and tried again for another 18 months. I was convinced she had PCOS and eventually persuaded her to go for tests. Her GP was not convinced about PCOS but put her on Metformin for 3 months anyway as he thought "it could do no harm" - she now has a 5 month old DD.

Original poster

ClaireDeLoon · 16/10/2008 22:37

Thank you everybody - you have made me feel better and made me realise we need to just keep pushing on, people have tried for much longer than this I know. Sadly I do have a stressful job and a bully of a boss (e.g. he thinks I broke my foot to spite him) so no hope of that changing but I can make other changes such as the weight loss.

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Lorelei97 · 16/10/2008 22:42

am 18 months ttc, m/c 17 months ago. have pcos and on clomid but not ovulating- they letting me try one more month on it but could see from doctors face they not expecting it to work and have suggested moving onto injections. i understand completely how you are feeling, especially when everyone i know has had a baby in the last 18 mths. talked to my dp last night about possibly having to look at the fact that it will not happen. he cried and is gutted- made worse by the fact one of his mates had a baby boy yesterday and we have been trying for so long; the constant disapointment is so hard.....

Original poster

ClaireDeLoon · 16/10/2008 22:45

Lorelei it is awful isn't it. He was so excited when I was pregnant and now nothing month after month. I knew my period was coming two days ago but it took me until today to tell him because I was desperately hoping it wasn't the case.

OP posts:

jenwa · 16/10/2008 22:47

DD1 was conceived after about 18months so please dont give up. We used temp charts and other methods and in the end I stopped as I was getting stressed about it and went to see a consultant who suggested further tests but little did I know I was pregnant when I saw the consultant.

have you had ovulation tests? I am PG again and used one this time and seemed to be ovulating when I did not think I would have been.

MsG · 16/10/2008 22:51

Hi everyone,

Don't give up... I had a m/c in June 2007 and it took me until early September this year to fall pregnant again. The ovulation kits helped me and I had started to use Preseed as well which is a lubricant that's meant to encourage sperm... I was getting very down about it not happening again and stressed too, and only when I began to make some other plans in my life did I start to relax a bit more. I think it's really important to keep doing things you enjoy and do things that are nothing to do with getting pregnant.

Obviously because of the m/c both DH and I are very nervous... 3 weeks until our scan - I so hope we get there and it's all ok.

Please don't give up, though - it could happen next month, or the one after.

Moonlit · 16/10/2008 23:55

I had almost given up. But decided to give it a proper go.

So in July I started loosing weight. I cut out carbs for a week and the reintroduced them in minimal amounts. I took multivitamins and folic acid and exercised daily (which was killer). Then our first attempt at TTC after my weight loss in August, I discovered I was pregnant after 21 cycles and two days before my referral appointment to the fertility specialist. I am now nine weeks! I still can't believe it. Dreams can come true.

I knew I had to loose weight to become pregnant, because I have PCOS. But when people told me this, I would get annoyed. In the end it was my weight .

Please don't give up. It will happen

georgimama · 17/10/2008 19:35

Oh yes, making plans that don't fit in with having a baby seem to do the trick, just before I got pregnant I decided to get another focus in life because I was very very miserable, and went for a great job. Got the job, then fell pregnant. I decided there was no way I could take on stressy new job and cope with pregnancy so I turned it down. So make other, highly involved, long term plans that don't involve babies, that should do it.

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