Any ferning experts around?

[Tangle]

DD is 18 months old, and we're starting to think about DC2. When we were TTC DD I temp'd religously and it worked pretty well for me. However, DD isn't that great on sleeping and when I've tried temping recently its been a complete non-starter. So I've got me a little saliva microscope jobby and I've been having a play.

Now, I have two questions:

1. Where do you put the saliva?
   I got an ISIS ovulation microscope but the instructions seem to contradict each other. Originaly I thought you licked the back of the removable lens, but then I couldn't focus on anything so I started trying to remember how lenses work and, IIRC, you can't focus on the back of the lens by changing the distance between the light source and the lens itself. But you can focus on the fixed slide - so I've started putting a sample on there instead, and I can now focus and see dots and lumps and lines. Where do other people put the saliva?

2. Are fern patterns time critical? Somedays I think I see dots, then I check and hour or so later and think I see some baby ferns, but then a couple of hours after that its all dots again. The instructions say "wait 20 minutes", but things seem to change after that. When are you meant to read the result?

Any help appreciated

IIRC I licked the back of the removable bit, and then left it upside down to dry.

The patterns do come and go as they dry and then absorb water and go again. When the ferns form you do really know about it.

Hmmm. How easy did you find to focus? Should there be anything to focus on if there are no ferns?

I really could only see very amorphous blobs with no defined edges at all - apart from when I focused on the slide when I saw the odd grain of dust.

I licked the back of the removable bit too. It's really interesting to see the ferns becoming more definite and complex as ovulation approaches. They are really beautiful too! Did you know each womans ferns are different?

I always used to look after 20 minutes and then leave it. 'tis really important not to eat or drink anything before you test though.

If you forget to test when your saliva is 'cean' you cna use vaginal secretions, the results are the same. You need to make sure there isn't any sperm present though.

I was really looking forward to using mine to TTC DC2, but got pregnant before I found it again...

When there are ferns you will see them clearly. You could always try licking the other lense to see if that works better for you.

You really don't see anything at all - just some specks. And then one day it blossoms forth in a spectacular pattern

I didn't get full on ferning in one go, it sort of built up over a few days. First just lines, then some branching, then small separate ferns, then BOOM one big fern.

DH has pointed out my brain is still disfunctional - I'm not meant to lick the back of the lens (as in the bit that unscrews) I'm meant to lick the back of the eyepiece (as in the bit that pulls out)...

Whoops

So now I'm just left thinking whether it would be unfair to have more children when DD has clearly stolen all of my faculties!