Hi there, have been lurking here for a while so thought I would post something as I'm in need of a bit of support. Have been trying to conceive since April, got pregnant within the first three months, then miscarried at six weeks. I'm still feeling sad, and bruised, and upset -- it took six weeks for my period to arrive after the miscarriage and I kept on thinking and hoping I was pregnant again (but wasn't).
Anyway - was looking forward to this month, and to trying again in what I hoped was a 'normal' cycle - then a letter arrived reminding me my smear was due. I had an very very slightly abnormal smear (borderline changes or something) in 2004, and then normal ones since then but I had forgotten to go last year, so I'm a year late for this one. And I really really don't want to go incase I find out that there is something abnormal again. I will go. In fact, I've booked it. But I'm just terrified, and frustrated with myself for not having it done before I had tried to conceive, and I keep thinking of all the what ifs (what if it shows as abnormal and I am already pregnant? - what if it shows as abnormal and I'm not pregnant - will I have to stop ttc? What if it is abnormal and I've left it too late - at this point catastrophic thought patterns begin). I know the only logical thing is to go, and I will, and I've already spoken to the nurse at the surgery, but I'm also really fed up with intervention as I had to have a load of prodding and internal scans when I had the miscarriage ....
Anyone been in a similar boat?