Can someone please come and calm me down [sad]

[pepperpots]

Please forgive me if I am rambling but i'm terrified and need some reassurance

Long Story short.....

Have been ttc road forever (or at least thats how it feels) have 2 wonderful ds's & have had m/c's along the way Last year I had an ectopic that almost killed me and i lost a tube ao ttc has now become even harder.... My CD's can range anywhere from 30-40 days usually around 35. This month however not i'm now on CD42... I somehow managed to convince myself that I was PG this month as I had none of my usual AF symptoms so after doing 120 (ok slight exageration) pregnancy tests I came to the conclusion that another month I have managed to fail So I stopped testing after Saturday waiting for the inevitable to happen as the cramp then started. My Boobs are so sore I cannot be without a bra Sunday morning I woke up feeling very crampy and lo and behold when I wiped there was a tiny speck of blood. Nothing spectacular but there when i wiped. 'Ok' thinks I AF has decided to show up after all. Although usually when AF arrives my boobs don't hurt anymore. I started to feel a little bit more crampy so took myself to bed with a good book and a hot water bottle. But..... everytime I have gone to the toilet there is only a little brown/pink and thats only if i go 'exploring' (I should have changed my name for this) I don't need a pad/tampon. The only problem is I have now completley terrified myself that I have another ectopic. Last time I had positive tests almost straight away but I have heard and read that sometimes ectopics dont give positive tests, so I am sat in work a nervous wreck and I can't leave as I'm the only one here (that can do my job) plus the fact I dont want to go to the hospital for the fear they will think i'm crazy. I have never had an implatation bleed and surely I would be showing a positive test by now????? Or is this likely to be something more sinister?? Any help/advice/hugs/kicks up the arses would be greatly received

When was the last time you tested? Can you nip out from work and do one today and see if it comes up positive? If so, call your EPAU and get an early scan booked asap. It shouldn't be an issue considering your history and they won't think you are crazy.

I tested Saturday and it was def negative

Try again today just to see pp. Have you had any pain specifically on one side? Have you dealt with your local EPAU before and if so what are they like?

I don't know if this will be any help, but I had pretty much the same experience last month, and eventually my period arrived, just quite late. Had all the crampiness, light spots etc.

Of course if you are worried you should see someone. I hope everything is ok.

No i havent had one sided pain although it wasn't horrific pain the last time (until it got serious)
The stupid thing is I am getting PG symptoms something i never had last time either (apart from the sore boobs) i think its just a cruel trick my body is playing just to give me that last little bit of hope

Every pg is different though pp - I am on my 4th, (1 dd & 2 mc) and none were the same. Def think you should test and get checked out - let us know what happens

I will test tonight when I get home.... I'm sure it will still be negative but where do I go from there? I don't want to look like a fool going to the doctors and asking for a blood test when lots of tests have been negative

i would agree though that given your history, you have every right to be more nervous than usual, and therefore ask for advice from the professionals - if i was a dr i wouldnt think you were wasting my time.

You are allowed to be paranoid after an ectopic, it goes with the territory.

It is true that sometimes with ectopic pregnancies you won't get a positive HPT until later. I believe this is because the egg does not have such an easy access to your blood supply and so your hormone levels don't rise so fast.

This is what happened to me in March, but the thing is, because my HCG levels were so low I did have a bleed which was just like a normal period and then I tested positive about a week after that.

IMO if your HCG levels were high enough to give you pregnancy symptoms they would also give you a positive HCG test. If you are worried that for some reason the HPT is not working, I think you should speak to your local EPAU and get some reassurance. They can at least do a blood HCG test which will confirm whether or not you are pregnant.

The symptoms you describe - cramps, spotting - are very likely to just be your period on its way. Sometimes mine is very slow to start, and if it is later than normal, that could be because you've had an anovulatory cycle (which is very normal) or because you ovulated late.

Hope you calm down soon. The panic each month is the worst thing about ttc after an ectopic.

You are bound to be a bit paranoid pp - completely understandable.
If you can possibly wait, test first thing in the morning when the levels are highest - will be watching for your post x

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With your history I would ask for a scan to check for ectopic.

Good luck.

Thanks for all ur thought but as expected the second the pee hit the stick damn AF turned up .....

I am glad in one way because at least i know where I stand but i am still kicking myself that I let myself believe for a second my stupid body would let me be pregnant Oh well cycle 926!!!!

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GOOD LUCK!

It is a bugger that kind of timing.
Keeping my fingers crossed for your next cycle pp.