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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

i'd like to have a girl

41 replies

insywinsyspider · 17/07/2008 19:44

hello, I've done a search about ttc for particular genders and I know how some people feel about 'gender selection' but I'm looking for some non jugmental and honest conversation about it as I its not something I can talk about in real life as I feel too guilty for feeling like this, I have 2 ds's and I would like a dd, dh and I would like dc3 and I'm actually scared I might not ever have a dd, I'm really close to my mum, I'd like to have a chance at that relationship and boys are diff to girls whatever anyone says, I need to feel happy bout having ds3 before we ttc but don't know how to start the 'grieving' process... anyone been thro this?? if I can't resolve these feelings then I can't have another dc.... I feel sad about that

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QueenyEisGotTheBall · 25/07/2008 22:04

disenchanted congrats on finding out you are having a girl i am still on the ttc wagon myself and hasnt time flown for you you must be 20+ weeks now??
xx ei xx

chipmonkey · 25/07/2008 22:39

insywinsy, I DO NOT believe in the timing method, or the high sperm count or the diet! I think all methods have a 50:50 chance of working but those who "succeed" shout louder about it than those who "fail"
All 4 of my boys were conceived well before ovulation, with ds1 and ds2 because we were avoiding pregnancy ( obviously not a good method for that!) with ds3 and ds4 we deliberately tried well before ovulation and still got more boys.
My SIL has a boy and a girl, both conceived around ovulation.
If you check out in-gender there is loads of info on different methods, high tech and low tech for influencing gender and what to do about "gender disappointment". I was very disappointed to find I was having a fourth boy but I did still fall head over heels with him as soon as he was born. And I do think there is too much gender stereotyping around now which makes it very hard for parents if they only have children of one gender. Boys are not really that different to girls, they just like different things.

AbstractMouse · 25/07/2008 22:54

I have a girl which I concieved on the day of ovulation (we lived apart so we know the exact day, and I had ov pains that day), and a boy who god knows, we just dtd randomly that month. There must be so many factors involved in which sperm reaches the egg that I don't think a method would make much difference.

I find it hard to believe that all men have fast swimming but short lived boy sperm and slow but hardy girl sperm. Surely there must be all kinds of crap that we don't know about which effects it, genetics, pH, god knows.

Gina80 · 26/07/2008 07:56

I'm 9 weeks. Already have a DS and would like another but DH would like a DD. Guess we're both in with a chance really

Original poster

insywinsyspider · 27/07/2008 21:24

chipmonkey - thanks for giving the otherside to trying the timing methods, its good to hear both sides when trying to make a decision - thanks also for the link. I have to disagree about boys and girls not being that diff tho, I don't think they are when they are very young but when they get older and have families I think it makes a big diff, thats what I'd miss I think, thats what I need to be ok with...

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Original poster

insywinsyspider · 27/07/2008 21:26

Gina80 - looks like its complete chance! good luck with rest of pg x

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gigglewitch · 27/07/2008 22:44

good post, Chipmonkey. A wise lady . I think any of us can only gamble with our efforts at manipulating the odds based on individual circumstances and like i said before, wanting a DC regardless of what "flavour" it turns out.
And believe it, my two boys are well easier than my one DD any day.
I think it's the blardy daft remarks that people make which really don't help matters - sorry I'll go back to the other thread on that one and continue my rant there....
good luck all who are 'trying' and Guessing.

Original poster

insywinsyspider · 28/07/2008 21:00

gigglewitch - which thread are you ranting on? guess its about people saying you must be pleased you eventually got your girl...

still having a dilemia here as there seem to be loads of 'methods' tempted now to leave it to chance rather than pick the 'wrong' one and get my hopes up! anyway don't need to worry yet getting annoyed that 8mo on still no period

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edjaned · 31/07/2008 23:00

hi i too am desperate for a girl together,we have had 4 boys and have decided on trying for 1last child b4 getting sterilised.i have bought the books and an ovulation kit the thing that is worrying me is i know i caught with ds3 on day 9 which was probably 5 days b4 ovulation as i have a regular 28 day cycle.
my friend says she concieved with both her girls on day 19 after ovulation.i know there is another theory to try for a girl later in the month,so i dont know what to do...

pulapula · 01/08/2008 07:46

I have heard that in many cases there is a dominant x or y chromosome (i'm not a biologist so might not be explaining this properly) in a particular man, so the more children you have of the same sex, the more likely you are to have more of the same due to this. That's why there are so many large families all of the same sex (my dad is one of 4 boys, mum is one of 4 girls, I know families with 4 or 5 girls, chasing that illusive boy).

I should also say that as I am the middle child of 3 with an older sister and younger brother, with parents who made it quite obvious that they wanted a son, you have to make sure you don't go overboard if you do get "what you want" as your older DCs will pick up on this.

Original poster

insywinsyspider · 01/08/2008 08:43

pulapula - 3 dc's min was alway what I wanted, dh only wanted 2 so if we'd had dd and ds by now he wouldn't be happy to have another so in lot of ways v please to have ds2! its just pressure on myself to have dd, would be lovely in my mind to try for baby not be thinking dd would be nice iykwim

Been doing some reading n heard about the dominate sperm thing - hoping that dh cycling to work and wearing tight pants will help!

edjaned - found this this website which does have something about ov+12 from lady who had 4 boys, I'm still in dilema about 'methods' too so not much help I'm afraid!

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Flightputsonahat · 01/08/2008 08:49

I have been wondering this too. Would love another baby (when I find the right bloke, ahem!) but have two boys and a girl would be terrific.
I am not sure how I would deal with yet another boy, but actually if you think about it - and I wanted a girl last time too, and the time before - they are all different anyway. So you still get lots of changes and variety with different boys. For instance I have one who is mousy/dark with ruddy cheeks, the other is as pale as ice with very blonde hair, and totally different in character.
This all helps me reconcile the fact they are both boy.

So I think I will be Ok if it is a girl orr a boy next time iyswim...just remember they're not going to be the same as each other.

Shettles can work but then you do have a fifty fifty chance anyway...try a cut off 3 days before ovulation, just in case it ups your odds!

Hopeysgirlwasntbig · 01/08/2008 08:50

good luck insywinsy!!

I have two boys and after 7 years my DH came round to the idea of trying for a girl!! Like you I wanted to have a girl because girls bond differently to their Mums and you can go out shopping etc when they're grown up. For the record, I adore my boys!

I got pregnant on my second try, it was a few days before mid cycle, so goes long with theory. We found out it was a little girl at my 20 week scan I was gobsmacked!!! She is now 10 months old and still I look at her in disbelief that she's a little girl! Never thought we'd 'produce' a girl- didn't think it was possible!

Original poster

insywinsyspider · 01/08/2008 09:03

hopeys - did you plan ttc mid cycle or is that just the way it worked out? I'm thinking I might just leave it to chance.... maybe somethings are just meant to be... or not be

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MrsJamin · 01/08/2008 09:31

Don't eat breakfast cereal!

katebee · 01/08/2008 09:46

We had DS first then hoped to have a DD second. When trying for DD we tried every day in week leading up to ovulation..and had a DD!!

So maybe try frequent sex prior to ovulation for a girl..that way there will be lots of girl sperm swimming around when you ovulate and maybe more chance of conceiving a girl.

I would also look at the diet for a girl..can't do any harm to try it!

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