I feel its the end of the road

[lostittoday]

Hi
Well you have probably heard me ramble on enough in previous posts about myself.
However after 10 months of ttc I have come to the realisation that its probably not to be.
I have been to the fertility clinic and apparently hormone tests I had done back in April showed my fsh has been 16, although at the time my gp never told me this and simply told me that my results were okay without discussing them properly.
Several progesterone tests show that I am simply not ovulating and its possible that I rarely have in all the time I have been ttc.
cycles have been irregular and at times long currently on cd 62 and no period.
For the past month I am convinced that my body has rapidly descended into menopause I have not felt well especially at night, and from looking at discussion forums it seems the symptoms I have been getting are experienced during menopause.
I have discussed my concerns at the fertility clinic and alhtough they want to do further hormone tests they have said menopause is possible especially as its in my family.
I feel so sad and I am having problems dealing with the fact that I am probably not going to have any more children.
I am 37 and I feel cheated, and I feel a fool for leaving it this long for ttc my second.
The problem has always been that my dp has never wanted another and it had taken some time to bring him round to the idea but there you go.
Anyway thanks for all of your support and for listening to my crazy posts.

lostit for you
I have no real experience of this but wanted you to get a response

thanks

so sad for you, hope you can come to terms with it. My best friend had a molar pregnancy 2nd time around, hideous experience involving chemo (she was unlucky) and absolutely dare not ttc again in case it happens again (1 in 50 chance) so she has had to resign herself (and her DH) to just having the one DS - but at least they have him. I don't want this to sound patronising but I hope that you can be happy with just the one DC too.

How sad for you lostittoday. My heart goes out to you. You know, sometimes when you remove the stress and pressure, it may well happen naturally. You have one precious child and that is a gift.

Forgive me if I am speaking out of turn, but you sound like you have so much to give, would you consider adopting another child. You sound like the sort of person who would love a child unconditionally whether they be biologically connected or not.

I wish you all the very best and hope things come right for you xxx

Hi lostit, just wanted to say I had read your post and really feel for you. I have been TTC nearly a year and have very irregular cycles but not had test results back yet, in addition, DH has very poor sperm results - not much chance for us either I guess I think I may be following you soon off these boards. Good luck with your future. PM xx

Oh anniemac
I don,t know what to think anymore.
I can,t help but think I am in menopause with how my cycles have been over the last 10 months.
To be honest they may have been irregular before I even started ttc but I never paid much attention as it was of no importance at the time.
However I believe they have become more erratic of late, I am currently on cd 62 today with no period.
I know in my heart that its too late.
My fsh was 16 in April, I have had another test done and should get the results this week so it will be interesting to see what it is now.
I expect it to have raised even further as I believe that I have rapidly gone into menopause over the last month due to how I have been feeling.
I have been referred to a endocrinologist as thye are having problems getting my thyroid stabilised yes I have had to put up with that crappy complaint getting in the way also.
I feel so depressed.
What happend at your appointment anniemac.

From reading your original message it seems that you still do not have a definitive diagnosis. As Anniemac rightly surmises I think you wait for that before deciding on any further course of action. I think them not being able as yet to stabilise your thyroid to date has certainly not helped.

When's your next appointment with the clinic and have you heard any more about the proposed appt with the endocrinologist?.

sorry your having a tough time anniemac,
How long have you been ttc. I know from previous posts you have been trying a long time but how long is it now.

Your still young so you have that on your side.
I don,t have that anymore.
If my cycle decides to make an appearance then the fertility clinic wants me to have all the hormone tests done again on day 2 to see what they are like then.
I am prepared for bad news though anyway.
Its my own fault for not pushing my dh more to try sooner.

you say you've been feeling ill over the past month etc. Is it possible you could be pregnant?

If not I feel for you as have been there. We ttc for just over 3 years and my dh has low sperm count so I know that realistically it is never going to happen again for me.

But like you I have one beautiful child and I know I am incredibly lucky.

If you haven't already though, I would do a pg test just to be sure. nausia/sweating/emotional can all be signs of pregnancy as well as menopause.

Lostittoday

I am so sorry. I am in this situation too but a bit further along. I have 1 ds (3.5 yrs) and at 43 have now not had a period for about 2 years. ivf tests indicated that my chances of conceiving using ivf were very slim unless I went for a doner egg. I agonised for so long over that and I still have thoughts about it but in the end decided aginst it. I hope things work out better for you but the pain of watching other mothers get preganant again and being almost the only mother at nursery still with only one child has been VERY hard.

I feel like I am just coming out of the other side though. What has helped is finding and keeping some friends who also have only children so far and who are struggling to conceive a second. It has really helped to have others to talk to about it. Some of my friends will no doubt have a second eventually but I have to say I'm almost 99% certain I won't be

Attila
Nobody has said the words sorry your in early menopause and its unlikely you won,t be having any more children.
However sometimes you just know these things yourself.
I have so many things against me, my age, early menopause in family with both my mom and 2 sisters, underactive thyroid, this coupled with irregular cycle, an high fsh, and other symptoms tells me its not good.
I have my next appoitnment at the fertility clinic on the 30th of July, to give time for my period to show so I can get the day 2 test done.
My appoitnment with the endo is not until the 5th of August.

wannaBe
I tested on cd 58 I just thought that maybe in my wildest dreams I might be pregnant but no a bfn.
God I have seem so many of those in my 10 months of ttc.
Lazycow I am glad your managing to deal with your feelings.
I have taken some comfort from the fact I do have my ds.