TTC at 39 - Should we delay trying to conceive because of a family wedding?

[Clare1207]

I'm about to turn 39 in a few days and ttc. We've only just started ttc (this will be our first cycle actively trying). With my age, I know I may struggle to get pregnant, especially because I'm not the healthiest I've ever been in terms of weight (something I am actively attempting to sort, but really struggling with - I'm under weight management at the hospital). I don't smoke at all and don't drink just for info.

Now my BiL is getting married next June, super excited for him and his soon to be wife, absolutely adore both of them. My question, which may sound silly but I'm really stressing over it, is do you think me and my husband should hold off a few months with ttc so I don't end up clashing or having a few week old new born during their wedding? Or at my age should I just keep going and hope it doesn't clash?

The last thing I want to happen is going into labour around the same time or stealing the spotlight by turning up with a newborn to family we've not seen in ages. If I got pregnant straight away (unlikely), I would be due at the end of March which I'm ok with, but as the next few months come and we get closer to a potential June due date, I don't want to do that to them. We've also only just found out the wedding date which is mid-June.

What would you do? Am I being selfish to continue ttc over the next few months and should we just hold off and resume ttc around November/December? Or am I best to just continue because I can't risk wasting time at my age?

This is first baby for both of us, so we have zero reference for any issues we may have, I've never been pregnant so would want to find out any issues asap.

I'm from a 'family centric' country. It wouldn't occur to anyone that having a baby at a wedding is stealing anyone's thunder. On the contrary, brides and grooms would be delighted if their wedding was the occasion of introducing a new member to the family, it would make it extra special.

We make weddings big (I mean, seriously big), but I've never seen the kind of insane bridezilla-ness that I read about on here. Weddings are a very collective affair, not a big ego trip for the bride.

@Clare1207 bless you that's very considerate thinking of others in this way. I would put yourself first in this instance and start TTC :) every cycle counts. You might surprise yourself though. I got pregnant with my first at 37 first cycle trying, and I am 39 now and 4 months pregnant, i got pregnant 3rd cycle trying! It happened a lot faster than I expected. Like you I would say I could be healthier in terms of weight, my BMI is raised at 32. Good luck!

I got pregnant naturally straight away at 42, but not everyone will. At 39 I wouldnt put off TTC.

Congrats that's amazing! Yes I'm going to spent the next few months focusing on my weight and hopefully that helps things.

We're just about to move house after 7 months of renovating so my diet has been awful. Take-out while at the house most nights, no time to exercise around my full-time job and renovating.

Saying that I've done a lot of manual labour over the past 7 months since we're doing it mostly ourselves so I've literally been mixing plaster and carrying heavy buckets up the stairs, lifting wooden beams and pulling wires through the house so I've had some exercise I suppose.

We are set to move in the next few weeks so all going well I can focus fully on getting my weight down and exercising more going forward and hope that helps things along!