Tww ttc no. 2. Feeling disheartened

[2wwmelt]

Just looking for some solidarity and company really. I know I’m being an idiot but I’m 8dpo and testing negative and I’m surprised by how sad I am about it (bare with me, I know I’m being annoying and stupid)
I know it’s so early but in my first pregnancy I got a bfp on day 8 and on my second pregnancy it was day 7 so I thought the same would happen this time.
I also took the same amount of cycles to get pregnant with both those pregnancies, and that’s the cycle I’m on now ttc this one. I think I was more relaxed the other cycles because in my head I just sort of thought it would be this one. I know that doesn’t make sense and it was just coincidence before.

I also knew I was pregnant 1-2 days before I even tested positive with both pregnancies. I actually tested earlier on both and got negatives and I wasn’t even sad because I knew I was pregnant anyway, but I don’t have that confidence this time which is bothering me because surely then I’m not pregnant?!

did anyone else ‘know’ they were pregnant with one but not another, did anyone get an early bfp with one pregnancy and a later one with another?

Oh I completely get this! I think once our brains spot a pattern, we decide it is now officially The Pattern 😂

With my DD I had a faint but obvious positive at around 8dpo, then a Clearblue 1–2 the next day. I’m only on cycle 1 TTC number 2 now, but I already know that if I get to 8dpo and see a negative, a tiny irrational part of my brain will be devastated even though I KNOW logically it means absolutely nothing that early 🙈

Also, you’re not being annoying or stupid. You’d built up an expectation based on two very real previous experiences, so of course it feels disappointing when this time isn’t following the same script. 8dpo is still so, so early though. Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞🥰