Getting pregnant again postpartum

[Andrasa]

Not sure whether to start this here/pregnancy/general parenting.

has anyone tried to/been pregnant quite quickly after giving birth? I know a lot of the advice suggests leaving at least an 18 month gap to let your body recover, but there’s no way I’m going to be able to wait for that long. I was wondering if anyone else had starting trying to conceive quite quickly afterwards and if there was anything particular that might be able to make it less rough on your body doing it twice on the bounce. I spent my pregnancy eating crap and not stressing about the weight gain so I’d definitely benefit from cutting the carbs and upping the protein, and I imagine continuing with pregnancy/conception vitamins to try and build a store back up.

unfortunately gave birth to my son stillborn last week at 38+3 so I need something to focus on in the next few weeks that isn’t lying in bed and crying. I’m still healing from a second degree tear so can’t be super active yet, but at least eating healthily feels like it has a purpose and is something to do with this empty maternity leave.

Oh gosh I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how heartbreaking and painful that must be.

From my experience, I was pregnant with our second 9 months after my first was born and didn’t feel any negative impact on my body, had an easy pregnancy, delivery and recovery and I was 39 so it’s definitely possible.

Wishing you all the very best of luck

I didn't have two pregnancies close together so I can't advise much but your pelvic floor usually takes quite a hit so have a look into some exercises you can do to support it specifically following a tear then pregnancy.

OP I'm terribly sorry for your loss, you must be in inconceivable pain and crying in bed is totally okay if that's what you want and need to do!

So sorry to hear about your loss. What was his name?

I would give yourself time to heal and grieve. My cousin got pregnant straight after a still birth (not sure she even had a period between) which sadly ended in a late miscarriage and it did not help her mental health.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I really think you should take some time to seek support and research about this though as having another pregnancy so soon after the first can put you and the baby at higher risk of complications. Also if you are waiting to find out any medical results from the previous pregnancy then they could be beneficial to know before planning another one as you might need some medical intervention during the next pregnancy. At least give yourself the 6 weeks to heal as it’s not about the tearing, but the internal parts that need to heal before attempting to have sex again or you are putting yourself at risk of infection.

Yes, definitely waiting at least six weeks don’t worry! I’ve ordered some ovulation strips to also just see how my hormones settle before I jump into anything. I just feel a bit helpless and this is something I can control for now.

pelvic floor is a good shout, I’ve got the app so that’s an easy distraction to add in.

We’ve been told the autopsy will take up to six months and is probably 50/50 for giving us any solid reasons for it. He was very small, well below even the 3% we’d been told at the growth scan the week earlier, so likelihood is a placenta issue. Considering my husband is in his 40s and I’m hitting 35 we don’t have ages to wait though, and although we got pregnant first time last time I’m well aware it could take a lot longer.

ideal world would be pregnant by Christmas to make that a little less awful.

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

I don’t have any experience of pregnancy close together but my best friend was pregnant around 8 weeks after her daughter. Her pregnancy was tougher on her body, she found she was much more sore, tired and she delivered 5 weeks early.

Hi OP, firstly I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s an unbelievably heartbreaking situation, the days will feel long but remember to try & focus on yourself/body & find little things to help you get through each day, whatever it may be.

I lost my son neonatally a few years ago, I was desperate to get pregnant again & couldn’t focus on much else. I got pregnant 6 months PP, I started trying again as soon as possible but it took around 8/9 weeks for my cycles to return. Physically I felt ok during the second pregnancy, mentally it was a struggle some days but I was fortunate enough to welcome a healthy baby boy 3 months after what would have been my DS1’s first birthday.

If you need anything please reach out and remember there are lots of places online that offer support, find what works for you and access counselling if/when you feel you need it.

Sending hugs and wishing you all the best xx

I’m so very sorry for your loss. No one should have to suffer this pain. We lost our first son half way through the pregnancy and still miss him every day.

I got pregnant about 11 weeks after my first son was born. My second son arrived at 33+1. I have an irritable uterus, which we didn’t know about going into everything as none of the doctors we saw had ever seen or heard of what was happening to me.

Our second son is eleven months old now and so wonderful. Although I wasn’t term in first son’s pregnancy, I was warned when o went into labour that it’s the exact same process the body goes through. I laboured for 19 hours, pushed for 40 minutes, delivered placenta, etc. I had to take tablets to stop my milk coming in. Heartbreaking.

Just as heartbreaking was my period returning exactly 28 days after we lost first son. It was absolutely awful, but at the same time I knew it was the doorway to getting pregnant again and creating our family. It’s a harsh and horrible situation.

I’m sorry for your loss but please remain knowledgeable on what your body and mind has just gone through and trying to focus on becoming pregnant so soon after this may not be good for you in the long run. Sending lots of love and light