ttc or wait???

[eth37]

OK this might sound strange. I am nearly 27, married for 2 years. Both have stable jobs, house etc. We always said we would wait until we were 30 to have our first, but for the last few months I have become literally obsessed with the thought, even down to counting down the months to when we could start trying... DH v practical and still thinks we should 'enjoy a couple of years just us two' before starting a family. Two colleagues are pregnant and I find I can barely talk to them through jealousy... Should I ride it out or try to persuade DH that now is the right time???

also should say, we use the withdrawal method at the min, and each month i secretly hope i am pg... Does anyone know how easy it is to get pg using this method of 'contraception'?

In your shoes I would talk to your dh and find out why he wants to wait. Assuming you can sort out his concerns then go fo it and good luck There's nothing 'magic' about aged 30 that makes it the best age to start a family - you're ready when you're ready - maybe you're ready now?

It all depends on both your fertility and your lifestyle to a certain extent. You could try now and have a few months before you get pregnant or fall pregnant straight away. Is it worth the risk?

I would say talk to your partner and see how he really would feel if you got pregnant straight away.

x posted - well if that's your method of contraception then I have to say it sounds like neither of you are totally opposed to pregnancy - withdrawal isn't a method of contraception imo. I believe it is moderately effective in avoiding pregnancy depending on the ahem control of the parties involved but that's more by luck than good management. If the result of you talking to dh is that you don't want to go for it as yet then you both need to talk about what reliable method you will employ.

He wouldn't be opposed to it just yet, I just think he thinks we would be more financially ready in a couple of years and wants to have a couple of 'just us' hols first (that sounds silly, I know!) Actually, it was my GP who suggested the withdrawal method - I went initially to change pills as the one I was on wasn't agreeing with me and he said 'would it really be that bad if you got pg?'. I use ov sticks and in theory we avoid those days. It has worked for about a year which makes me worry that maybe we might have fertility issues... Thanks for your replies. Will have another big chat and hopefully I will stop being so clucky soon....

eth37 - do you know much about your fertile times and the signs to look out for (change in Mucus, ovulation painis etc)? It can help when trying to conceive or when trying not to.

I've just started tracking my ovulation days with sticks and monitoring my cycle lengths (which are varying from 23 - 31 days...) and mucous changes.I didn't know you got pains when ovulating though? And MN is highlighting that it's not as easy as I thought to get pg . So much to learn!!

Eth, you're more then welcome to come and talk to us on the wagon thread if you would like to share with people. We started the first of our threads in Jan as a waiting ttc thread. There were a whole group of us desperate to ttc but waiting for various reasons (e.g money/new jobs/house move/mc etc). Now most of us are ttc, quite a few have already fallen pg but there are still 2 or 3 still waiting.

I agonised over this decision for ages (I've just turned 26 been married for nearly 4 years) but at the end of the day decided there was never a "right" time and we would never have "enough" money. Something else would always come up, a job change, needing a new car, moving house, wanting more savings etc. If we allowed financial reasons to rule our life I really don't think we would ever have started ttc, there's always a reason not to if you want to find them. So we have started this month and if I fall pg straight away we could just about afford it. However, we are working on the fact that it is unlikely to happen straight away (only 70% of couple get pg in 6 months of trying) so by the time we catch finances should be a little easier. If we do by some miracle get pg straight away then it would be a bit tighter then we would like but I would be nothing but delighted. If it takes a while (hopefully not too long) then at least we will have a bit more in the way of savings in the bank!

Thanks for your message, Playingthewaitinggame - really good to know I'm not the only one!! Good luck with your own ttc and yes, will def have a look on the wagon thread x

eth37, I am almost the same as you. I'm 28 in October, will have been married for 2 years in Sept, and we always said 30 would be the time to go for it. It does sound like a magic number doesn't it? Anyway, I started getting really broody this year and luckily dh agreed. I figured that it might take a while to get pregnant, then you have to wait 9 months - you'll be practically 30 by the time it's born anyway! Try saying that to him.

Word of warning though. We decided to start trying in mid- April and I'm now 6 weeks . So that argument may not have that much merit after all.....

Whatever you decide, good luck!

babyignoramus, Congrats!! That is so exciting!! I think you're right - 30 seems to have such a stigma attached to it, but in reality I guess it's just a number. Will see what happens - will keep you posted!