TTC Over 40 - support

[Wingingitlife]

Hello ladies… I’m 41 and I’ve been TTC for a year. I’m starting to find it a bit difficult so I’ve set up this thread for anyone in the same boat to share our thoughts and support each other ❤️

I’m lucky enough to have 3 children (singleton at 21 and twins at 29). I never thought I’d have another baby but I divorced from my husband and have a new partner. I have been with my new partner for 7 years and he has no children of his own but has been an amazing step dad over the years. This time last year we decided we were ready to start trying for our own.

I will be totally honest with you, I thought it would happen quickly, so I’m absolutely gutted that we are still here trying. I don’t feel my age, I’m healthy and exercise regularly, I don’t smoke or drink. In fact I feel a lot healthier than I was when I had my previous children! I previously had a mirena coil which I had removed in June last year but prior to that I had the IUD for around 10 years.

on my first month of TTC I got a positive test, this ended in a chemical pregnancy a week later sadly. The docs told me this was a good sign that I could get pregnant but I haven’t had any luck since.

Our latest hurdle is that my partner had a tight foreskin which became a problem for him and he ended up having to have a circumcision. That means the last two months we haven’t been able to TTC. But hopefully this month we will be good to go again.

I have had some blood tests and have a GP appointment tomorrow so we will see what they say. I’m going to ask for a referral to the fertility clinic. Although I’m not eligible for any help on the NHS so it will have to be a private referral. Honestly at my age I’m not sure if I want to put myself through IVF so I’m hoping something happens naturally and soon.

anyway sorry for the long post! I just needed to get it all off my chest! Is there anyone out there in the same boat? Or any positive stories?

thanks xx

I am pregnant naturally at 43 and will be 44 when I deliver. I had my first and second at 39 and 41. I’d recommend something like the mira to track hormones and also super dose co enzyme q10. I couldn’t be happier but there will be loads of people along to tell you to be content with what you have! I am not finding pregnancy any harder than I did at 39 and so far everything is ok. Keep the faith if that’s what you want!

Hi. I am also 40. Will be 41 in july and we have been trying via ivf for 18months for another child. Our last 4 children were via ivf, 1 was our angel baby. We do already have lots of kids so very thankful for that, though the journey wasnt easy like some may think, and we get a lot of judgment on these sites. All my kids now are older, a couple adults who have moved out of home, some older teens leaving school and a couple moving into highschool. We started over 5yrs ago and our youngest two are 2 and 4, inbetween those 2 is our angel baby. We really would have loved one more but its not looking as though thats going to happen for us. I am unable to get any good embryos, we are giving our current clinic one last cycle and if they dont change their plans moving forward to try something new then we may move clinics to trial one more round or we might just call it a day.

I’m 40 and trying for number 4 for almost 3 years now.
i thought it would maybe take a year but not this long! All tests unexplained.

Hi I'm 42 and been TTC for about 2 years now.
Had three miscarriages, and many more chemicals.
I have a DD who is 3 and she took two years.
I've had a few rounds of Clomid and this month the gynea gave me a trigger shot which is supposed to make me ovulate, in case I wasn't going to. I had two good follicles.
I'm 2dpo now.

I never had any losses (that I know of) but it took years for me to conceive - had DC1 naturally at 39 after 2 years of trying, started trying again at 41, fell pregnant naturally at 44 with DC2 arriving when I was 45. Easy pregnancy, healthy baby & a lovely surprise - I'd given up hope. Just after turning 44 I went for a fertility assessment to see if I was kidding myself about having another & was advised that if I wanted to use my own eggs my chances were the same whether I tried naturally or via IVF and not to waste our money. I got lucky. It's possible - keep trying. Good luck OP

@thejadefish ars you pregnant now? Or did you have dc3?

Oh I’ve re read your post I get it now
thanks for sharing this is giving me hope!

@Pinkponyclub26 in my friendship circle one friend had her first child at 40 (arrived a month after her birthday), two others at 42 - one thought she was going through menopause but turned out she was pregnant, the other had tried for 6 years & resigned herself to it not happening then it did - all children healthy. Oh and my sister in law had hers at 40 & 42 (they are teenagers now). Plus me at 45 (my youngest is 4, so bit more recently). Keep trying and best of luck x

Thanks it’s just the time it’s taking that’s disheartening. I’m not losing hope

I had mine at 39 and 42. Pregnant within 3 months of trying with the first. First time lucky with the second. I had two miscarriages in between.

Do I wish I was 20 years younger? Sure, don’t we all. I found it all manageable though. In fact, sleepless nights probably better than I was younger. I have a lot more patience these days.

Good luck. When do you usually test? I start my ivf cycle at the end of the month.

Hey can I join you?
Trying for our 2nd at 44.
7 cycles so far, one chemical and a miscarriage this week.
Trying to stay positive.

Hello everyone. Recently 43 here after two MMC and a TFMR last December which almost broke me. I'm sorry to read that so many of you have had similarly tough journeys, but it does help to feel less alone. I met my partner at 40 and then fell pregnant by accident at 41, ending in a miscarriage. I never dreamed at that point that we'd still be trying nearly two years later, yet here we are. We have decided to give it until the end of the year trying naturally, though could be easier said than done when 2027 rolls around. Glad to hear so many of the positive stories too- it is nice to have a bit of hope.

@Littlebuzz I'm so sorry to hear of your recent miscarriage- I do hope you're as okay as you can be and have good support around you.

Also like to join please, so sorry to read of so many losses, it really makes u realise ur not alone and just how common it is (doesn’t make it less painful but nice to know ur not alone)

41 here trying for #2 since Sept last year, have a just turned 2 yo. Got pregnant in April but had a miscarriage betw 7-8 weeks. Currently on CD 11 and really hoping it could be our lucky cycle. We got pregnant with our 2 yo the very next cycle after a miscarriage so I do believe there’s a boost in fertility immediately after 🤞🏽🤞🏽

nice to read of so many success stories in 40s also ❤️

Hey @Miraclemuma03 I'm a serial early tester so normally start 7dpo but I'm testing out the trigger shot so im testing every two days to see the hcg reduce so if it increases again I'm pregnant and if not, I'm not.

Im so sorry to read all these heartbreaking journeys. I hope for all of us that this cycle will be our cycle.

Hi everyone, recently 42 and been trying this past year… had a very early loss last July but nothing since..
had full blood panel done a month ago which showed slightly low testosterone but everything else was at optimal levels?
has anyone here had help with hormones prescribed to them to maybe help things along?

How is everyone doing? I’m dpo 12-13 today. Actually feeling really sad today. I’m praying I get a positive at the weekend but after a year of trying I’m struggling to stay hopeful! X

@Wingingitlife Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. This will be my 7th cycle and can usually tell from a rising temp and a rising rhr so would be very surprised to get good news. Surprises do happen though, so like you trying to stay hopeful :). Keeping my fingers crossed for you too.

Hi everyone. I’ll join if that’s okay? I’m 42 and we’ve been ttc almost a year. Fell pregnant almost straight away last September but we had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. 7 cycles later and nothing. It’s been really frustrating as we thought we’d fall quickly again. I have a GP appointment to discuss on 23rd July. Good luck to you all x

Hope everyone is doing well. I’m 3dpo today and this is my 13th cycle of trying to conceive. Keeping everything crossed this month ❤️

Hi @Wingingitlife

I read your post and it touched me deeply. I'm a young man, older than your eldest son, and my mom is going through a situation very similar to yours.

I'm an only child. My biological father sadly passed away, and when my mom met her current partner, I want to be completely honest with you: at first, I didn't accept him, not at all. It was an incredibly hard period for me, full of anger and confusion. But he never gave up. He was patient, affectionate, present in my life in a way I never could have imagined. And over the years, he became, in every way, my second father, even though I refused to accept him.

He is younger than my mom and doesn't have children of his own. Now he deeply wishes to have a child with her, his first child, and they are trying. I'm writing to you because I want you to know just how incredibly emotional this journey is for us children too. After a lifetime as an only child, when I found out in February that my mom was pregnant, at first I was shaken, I didn't even know what to feel. It was a shock, I admit it. Then, unfortunately, she lost the baby shortly after. But today, looking back on everything, the thought and the hope that my mom might succeed fills me with excitement.

Today, the idea of seeing that man who has given me so much become a father through my mom helps me see him with different, more familiar eyes.

From the perspective of a "grown son," I want to confess something to you in silence: what you and your partner are building is something precious and beautiful. I'm certain that your children will be thrilled and will support you with all their hearts, just as I am trying to do now with my mom and with the man who welcomed me as his own son.

And I'll tell you more: I believe that having a child with him could be the key for your kids. It will help them see him with completely new eyes, to fully welcome him as a father, as the paternal figure he already is. That's how it was for me.

Please, don't lose hope, not even for a second. You have a wonderful family and your partner seems like a man with a rare heart. I'm sending you all my love, and I hope with all my soul that your dream comes true very, very soon.

A big hug

@Wingingitlife good luck for this cycle. My ivf cycle had to be changed because I was something like 10 days late, maybe longer for my period to start so had to be put on the pill for my clinic to take control of things. So im on my last day for the pill which was for 12 days and I have my first clinic app on the 24th.