Trying for a second baby and considering IVF after test results

[OnionFishDiamond]

We had our first baby after 10 months of trying. She’s now 2 years 4 months old.

When she turned 1yo we started trying for baby 2. 16/17 months on and I’m not pregnant.

We had a set back in that I was diagnosed with a prolactinoma my periods never properly came back after stopping breastfeeding and I had incredibly high prolactin. But October 2025 I saw an Endocrinologist who prescribed cabergoline and literally I ovulated after the first dose and had regular periods of 25-27 days since.

We are now on cycle 8 of TTC since my periods returned but nothing. I track ovulation religiously so know when I’ve ovulated, luteal phase length etc. but nothing.

I’ve been getting increasingly anxious about it all mostly as things aren’t great at work at the moment I’m bored and there’s little opportunity but I get 6 months full pay maternity leave so can’t really leave while TTC. I thought I’d have already had another baby by now and then I could kick start my career by looking at external opportunities.

We did some fertility tests, mainly for reassurance and I thought it would genuinely just give me reassurance as we did them for baby1 and it did give me reassurance to just trust the process but the results came back not ideal.

My results:
Female 33, AMH 10.3 and follicle count 23.

My husband:
Male 36, sperm count 26m, progressive motility 40% and morphology 2%.

The consultant said we could conceive naturally still but obviously with low morphology the probabilities aren’t on our side. He actually recommended IVF with ICSI because of the low morphology.

We did look at the budget IVF (Kind IVF) but the consultant talked me out of that because he said you have less control and if only a few follicles mature they still go ahead with it but normal IVF they’d adjust meds etc. or postpone to another month. It just all felt quite risky given the big investment. Cost of this was £4k compared to £8k for standard IVF.

This whole thing is now completely consuming me. We can afford IVF if we disinvest some shares (thank you to my work for having the schemes!)

We’ve agreed we’ll keep trying another 3 months then in July think about IVF.

I don’t know what I’m looking for really. Just wanted to post to see if others had similar results and did/didn’t go for IVF. Also what type of IVF the standard or budget? From what the consultant was saying we are sub-fertile not infertile, but the last 4 cycles of TTC I’ve been getting in such an awful state when my period is due over reading symptoms etc.

Im also conscious I don’t want a big age gap as want to get children through nursery and to school so I can work full time again. I am also worried that I will be 35 in less than 2 years now. I know it’s not a cliff edge at 35 for fertility but my egg quality is only going to get worse.

I also know technically we are on month 8 of trying because of my prolactinoma but really we’ve been in this TTC mode for nearly 18 months now and I think it’s starting to get to me a bit.

I think if you havnt fallen pregnant in 18months then id lean towards starting ivf sooner, you have a higher chance of success with younger eggs, rather then waiting and aging your eggs. Even with the lower cost ivf clinic, it doesnt mean you won't have success. I am in Australia and have been with my bulk billed clinic for a long time, and over the years they have given me 3 living children. My clinic personally dont stim you for the most eggs they can collect but for the best quality eggs for a higher success rate. We also need icsi because my husbands sperm count is very low. Also there can be long waiting times to start ivf if your not already with a clinic so making your appointments and doing all the things they need could take time so while waiting you could keep trying naturally.

You are still young so I would wait until a year ttc. Our DD took 18 months to concieve (subfertility- mainly male factor) and I was obsessed by age gaps but we have almost 4 years and it's been great really!

Hi - I'm in a really similar position. My son is 2.5 and we luckily conceived him after 3 months. We've now been trying a full year for baby 2 and I fell pregnant in October but miscarried at nearly 10w in Dec which was horrendous.
Like you, we got the testing done and I have such similar results to you - AMH of 10 and AFC of 24. My DH had only an 8mil count, fine motility and 2% morphology. He's been retested and it's massively improved to 30 mil count and 3% morphology but even with the improvement as the motility is a bit low we've still been advised ICSI.

Options were also IUI but we are moving straight to ISCI next month. We are very lucky in that we can afford it privately and like another poster said I just wanted to crack on and get younger eggs out, I'm a bit older than you, I'm 35. In your position I would wait until you've hit a year as from what my consultant said it's only at age 37 where they see a real drop off in how many eggs are genetically normal. If I was your age, I probably would try 3-6 months of IUI first! Our consultant also said that the morphology wasn't so much an issue where the sperm count was really good, so your DH has 2% of 28 mil, which isn't that different to 4% of 15 mil (which would be considered a normal count).

Also to improve his parameters (which did include improving morphology) my DH took Proxeed 2x a day and completely cut caffeine and alcohol (as well as all the usual stuff like no cycling, hot baths etc.)

I'm also in the same position where I'm wanting to leave my job but can't because of the 6 months full pay and also feel impatient due to age gap, which I thought was going to be about 2.5 years!

I would also say on costs just be aware that the overall cost is much more than the actual IVF/ISCI cost as the headline cost doesn't include medication (the stims and then the progesterone) or PGTA testing (which we've been advised due to my age, you probably wouldn't need to) or any subsequent frozen transfers). So we've paid £8k to our clinic now for ICSI but expecting another potentially £6-7k for meds, testing and a frozen transfer if a fresh one fails.

just a few things I wish someone had said to me before I went down this road:
IVF is not an easy alternative, if you are stressed now you will be 10x more going through IVF.
ivf takes a huge toll on your body and carries risks (look up OHSS)
ivf has a low success rate
the stress will take a toll on your relationship
you are lucky enough to have a precious child you don’t need to do this.

Thank you it’s good to hear from someone in a similar situation.

My husbands been taking all the fertility vitamins etc. like £60 a month worth, I’m slightly hopeful as I think this month is the 3 month mark him taking them so they should be feeding through to his sperm now.

The £8.5k we got quoted did include medication although was quoted as around £1.5k to £3k the so technically we could pay £8.5k to £10k which we’d be happy with. The headline cost for just the ivf with icsi was c£5k. Could there be even more hidden costs? The quote we got seemed quite comprehensive.

@OnionFishDiamond Great. If you’re not opting for PGTA testing then hopefully that’s it (as far as I’m aware!) I guess the only other thing to say is that unfortunately it’s not guaranteed to work within one round, and could need multiple :(

Thanks I’m tempted by the pgta testing just because it’s c£1200 I think which when you’re spending up to £10k seems quite immaterial but then at my age the doctor said he didn’t think it was necessary.

I think we’d only do one egg collection regardless of outcome as that’s the bit I’m most scared of anyway and I think if we’d have at least tried I’d find it easier to come to terms with not having another child.

The consultant did give us good stats though for success 40-50% for one cycle so I’m hopeful but also trying to not get my hopes up too much as I know it’s not a guarantee.

Hi I am considering this for trying for a first baby and I’m finding out everything thats truly involved. Firstly, just the tests so far I have found quite emotionally stressful and I think it’s an awful lot for one’s body to go through and for me personally to go through in terms of the actual procedure, hormonal stimulation and the emotions of it all.

Have you been through the whole process of IVF and would you do it again?

I’ve had five egg collections and was ultimately successful. IVF is fine physically and absolute hell mentally, but even the mental toll is not that bad compared to how hard infertility was in general. It was all absolutely worth it in the end - the only thing I regret is not going private earlier than we did.

Thank you, did you have any rounds on the NHS?

We were entitled to NHS rounds, but were hit with long waiting lists, clinic closures, and absolutely mind boggling administrative incompetence relating to a clinic transfer. After the NHS had wasted about 18 months of our lives, we gave up and went private. I know many people have great experiences with the NHS, but four years later I’m still furious about how we were treated at a very vulnerable stage in our lives.

Sorry to hear that. I too wish we had not waited for the NHS I wish we had gone for urology earlier.

Same story here. Dr Jonathan Ramsay is amazing - we have him to thank for my son’s existence.

Can I ask what he diagnosed and the treatment 5hat was offered?

Just wanted to add to this my husband had 2% morphology and borderline low sperm count, i'm currently 5 months pregnant 😊he started taking conceive plus male fertility supplements and we followed all of the advice regarding lowering alcohol intake, eating a healthier diet, no hot baths etc, these are the only things we changed following his first test and they must have done the job x

Thank you this is so lovely to read and congratulations on your pregnancy!

We’re doing all the supplements, neither of us really drink and we’re avoiding spa days etc. so hoping the lifestyle changes feed through. This cycle is three months since starting supplements so I’m feeling hopeful 🤞 and teaching myself to be patient.

@OnionFishDiamond I fell pregnant on our 3rd month after supplements started, not to get your hopes up! Keeping everything crossed for you x

If it’s only really been 8 months I’d wait longer. And stop worrying about age gaps. IVF is incredibly physically demanding and takes a lot of time - consider if that’s fair to your current child to take your time and energy away from them.

We also have two Jonathan Ramsay babies. DH and I like to say that we wouldn't be sleep deprived if it wasn't for Jonathan Ramsay.

We found Mr Ramsay after a traumatic and very unsuccessful IVF cycle. My experience was that the NHS was not set up to diagnose, consider or treat male fertility issues.

In answer to your question pinkelephant I went through IVF with ICSI, nearly died from OHSS and have wonderful twins from that 1st round. I would never have done a second round even if I had been unsuccessful because of the very serious illness and with a full understanding of the process I would not have done it if I already had a child. My twins are now adults and I still feel the need to warn people that this is not the simple decision or process that it is sometimes portrayed. I become crazed and obsessed when I faced infertility but I wish that I had started with therapy rather than major medical intervention.