Applying for jobs while ttc - controversial or perfectly normal?

[tryingnottoobsess]

er that's about it really... my job is fine but dull so maybe I should sit tight. But with a year plus ttc (including 3 mc) behind me, I could be sitting tight for a while if I do...

On the other hand, sods law says if I get the job I'll be pg within seconds (and mc again? I hope not, but it's obviously possible)

what do you think/ what have you done?

Hi beaniesteve, as far as i understand it, you get up to a year's maternity leave regardless of how long you've been working somewhere. i don't get maternity pay beyond SMP where i am now, and tbh, I'm in a position where that's less of a concern as the pay at the new place is much better than where i am now. i think i'd be safe going back...it's the 6 months before that i'm more worried about...

oh gosh, this thread had fallen off my active threads and I hadn't seen loads of replies.... so nice to know i'm not alone.

I think most people on the thread seem to be in the 'don't put your life on hold' category, and it is nice to hear people saying that who've actually done it (as opposed to male friends saying to me 'employers know it's a risk that women will get pregnant' when you know they'll never have to deal with the reality of telling a new boss/colleagues and continuing to work there through the pregancy).

ceedub... what a dilemma!

It is such a grey area that you could probably flip from one decision to the other indefinitely. The best advice I ever had when I was agonising over a decision was that the actual choice you make is less important than 'just making a decision and making it work'... Don't know if that helps, but it helped me at the time!

Having said that, I didn't get the job I was talking about above when I started this thread (they promoted someone internally - boo!) but my first reaction when the guy called to tell me was relief that I didn't have to make a difficult decision! Slightly diff situation though as the pay was quite a lot less than my current job (but fascinating job), so the hard decison would have been about lifestyle change too, not just 'maternity ethics'.

Could you negotiate less notice period with your current employer? Some places are pretty flexible about that. Good luck.

X post with Gilly (phone call while writing!)

and congrats on the preganncy and the job!

Hi ceedub,

Congrats on the pregnancy and on the job offer!!

I have been following this thread with interest as I am in a similar position (ttc while in a job that I REALLY don't like, so am job hunting but still not convinced that the benefits of moving to a new role outweigh the excellent maternity benefits in my current horrible role.) I have already had one mc this year, so stopping ttc to move jobs is simply not an option for me (for a number of emotional reasons.)

I think that tryingnottoobsess' advise about making a decision work was excellent (I am going to adopt that as my philosophy!)

To add my two cents...if you could reduce your notice period (or take your remaining annual leave to shorten it if possible?) it may be easier. You will be amazed at how much impact you can have in your new role in the 6 months before you go on maternity leave...

In our team, we had a new starter who announced her pregnancy one month into her new role. She claims she 'didn't know' she was pregnant when she joined (although we guessed pretty much right away and once the initial surprise around her announcement was over, she settled down into her role - made a large impact in her remaining 5 months and is now on Maternity Leave (and is being missed by the rest of the team!) so it is perfectly possible...

Hi everyone, thanks for all the really helpful advice. In the end, I told them, and I think it will be fine. If anything, seemed to get some brownie points for letting them know so early on (I'm just over 5 weeks). Basically they want me to start as soon as possible so I can get settled in before I go on maternity leave, but it's sounding as though it isn't going to be awkward. So now I just have to convince my current employer to let me leave a bit earlier - though I have quite a bit of annual leave saved up, which I could use if needed. Have to go to the outgoing person's leaving do this evening - am sure everyone will be looking at my stomach!

Well done Ceedub! I'm so impressed - that was really brave, and you're really going to start off on the right foot with them.

Enjoy your pg and the job!

Hi everyone, thanks for all the support and good advice. For anyone facing this sort of dilemma, telling them turned out to be a really good way of 'testing' how family-friendly they are. Glad they passed!
Trying - good luck with any future job hunting
gilldaffodil - good advice on the handover etc...no point in burning bridges, even if I can't leave earlier. And am glad your new job appears so positive