Cycle 8 and I just know my period is coming :(

[Sunglade]

Please if anyone has a similar experience or knows anyone else I'd love to hear from you as I feel so alone and worried. I'm starting to think there might be something wrong, due to the symptoms I experience running up to my period.

I know that it can take a year and that for some people it's often longer, but 8 months is a long time to be repeatedly disappointed. It wouldn't be so hard if I hadn't realised that my pre-period symptoms may not be normal. About a week after I ovulate, and 5-7 days before my period starts, I begin to get a sort of burning sensation down below. It can be felt from my very lower back, more like the tailbone area really, and into my vagina. It isn't super intense but it's bothersome enough to annoy me make me feel a bit grouchy, a bit like the same level of pain as a headache you can't shift. I don't usually get abdominal cramps until my period starts. Also, around 5-6 days before my periods starts I often get itching around my vagina, it can be int nse. What's worrying me is that I can't find much evidence of this being a common pain for menstruation women, unless they have conditions like endometriosis. I'm driving myself sick with worry every cycle that there's something wrong and my tubes must be blocked etc etc.

Every cycle, I don't even get through the TWW because I know my period is coming by about day 21 (of a 27/28 day cycle). My symptoms start and my heart just sinks. So I spend the last week miserably anticipating AF, which inevitably comes within a week of the burning. Then I torture myself with worry, I feel sure that I must have something affecting my fertility. I've already been referred to a gynaecologist for my symptoms but god knows how long it will be until my first appointment. I'm 34 and my partner is 35.

If you've got the money, go private for investigation. Everything takes forever and I totally understand your frustration. Get some preliminary tests ran, mostly bloods and a sperm test, and see about getting a HSG booked if they do come back clear.

Try not to stress as 8 months is within the normal parameters, but I remember how it felt at 8 months, and now it's 2.5 years and i am really glad that we were proactive as whilst it's been hell at least I have a diagnosis, and we've been doing (and continue to do) IVF.

Thanks for your reply. Is the HSG the one where they check your tubes? Can you self refer for that? I'm not sure if be able to afford it, maybe some of the tests. I'm sorry to hear about your struggle too, but it's good that you were able to move through the system quickly enough to be getting the treatment you need now. I hope it's successful for you ❤️

HSG is the test to check tubes and no, you need someone to say you need one, but if all the tests are good then that's the next step so won't be a problem to get a referral for it.

Ok I will look into it thank you. So disheartened knowing all the months we tried might have been totally in vain if there's an underlying issue but I guess all we can do is look into it now

Just tested early (with one of the early tests) i usually wait until my period comes tbh but at this point I don't want to miss any possible chemicals as at least it would prove we were able to conceive. It was negative of course. Kind of giving up now as I know with my symptoms there's clearly something wrong. I think I always suspected over the years with pain tbh that something wasn't right but I was used to being dismissed by anyone I brought it up to. So all I can see now is a battery of tests we'll have to go through in order to get anywhere, I'm already 34 and with the NHS I could easily be almost 40 by the time I'm diagnosed or helped at all. Fuck sake.

I was 9 months in and got a BFP. I have PCOS and was told it may be difficult for me so every month I got AF I was distressed. Also similar age to you. Just giving you some hope that it may be just around the corner.

However if you want to start going down the road of fertility investigations then I’d go private if you can afford it. Myself and DH were talking of it last month too, to get the ball rolling. I know they say it can take up to a year but every month is like torture and felt the same once I got past 6 months wondering if something was wrong.

does the burning feel like a stabbing burn? I felt similar just before my period. My GP related it to the PCOS (I don’t know if they were being dismissive or if it was) but I felt a burning stabbing sensation at times before my period.

Thank you for sharing your experience and congratulations on your BFP 🥳 was that recently?

I don't have PCOS, as I believe that's usually visible on an ultrasound, right? But I'm aware it's very common and fertility can vary. I'm worried mine might be endometriosis. My ultrasound looked fine except for one small fibroid on one side. The pains I get are a strong burning, not so much like a stabbing but very hot and inflamed, a bit like having a bad sunburn or rash on the inside. I can feel this mostly in my very lower back (tailbone) and even in my genitals. It makes it really uncomfortable to sit when it gets bad. My left leg also feels like it's getting sciatica, not super strong, but enough to make it uncomfortable. All of this flares in the week leading up to my period and my periods can be quite heavy too. Weirdly, I don't get the stomach cramping most months anymore although I used to get those. I really don't know what's going on, to be honest I can tolerate the pain, it's just the idea that it might affect my chances that I'm finding really difficult..

I'm really sorry this is so tough. I just wanted to say my friend has taken a year each time to conceive her 2 children with no issues (at age 32 and 36), just seems to take her time. Just wanted to comment as I can feel you spiralling a bit that it might never happen and convinced something must be wrong. Hopefully you can get some answers soon though.

Might also be helpful to talk to a therapist if you can afford a few sessions just to help with the anxiety? Because it's a really tough period that's out of your control.

Thanks for your thoughtful message 🩷
It is encouraging to know that it can take some people a longer time. I think the worrying thing is the symptoms combined with a lack of positive test so far.
I'm considering speaking to someone like you said as I am absolutely spiralling at times, I'm not sure what I can get from it though. I guess it might address the anxiety as the last thing ai want is that affecting my relationship and life in a bigger way than it already has.

I appreciate that. Mine was like a burning stabbing pain that would start up a few days prior, like a hot poker sort of feel. It comes and goes and would feel quite sharp like.

Yes it was recent BFP. Ironically the only month I just knew I wasn’t pregnant as me and DH had started to think we’d need fertility help due to my PCOS so I never bothered to react when I knew I was ovulating and was too tired to really try. I was very surprised but I did read on here someone saying it really can just be around the corner and you never know.

Sorry I don’t have any more practical advice but wishing you lots of luck and love if you do go down the investigation route.

So good to hear that your BFP arrived at long last! Part of me hopes that it might still happen for us. There's 4 months left of trying before it would be clinically considered fertility issues so there is a chance.
My symptoms have been extra bad this period. I'm not sure if it's because I've been rubbing my lower back in an attempt to relieve it and it's actually made it worse or if it's just coincidentally worse than normal. I came really close to booking a private gynae consultation today. I'm actually on a waiting list for one with the NHS but they informed me I likely won't be invited to my first appointment until at least July due to the waiting list.
How have your symptoms been since you became pregnant, have they at least eased off? Wishing you a smooth and enjoyable pregnancy.