Advice please on how to let go when it won’t happen and you know it’s too late

[EmberR]

Just looking for some kind words of advice and support please. We’ve been trying for 2 years to conceive - I am now 43 and aware it won’t happen now. We have had a miscarriage and other than that no positive tests. Both had all the tests and nothing “wrong” other than being the wrong side of 40.

I am finding it hard to come to terms with this. Especially as I have friends and family members announcing pregnancies and new babies being born which of course is just life.

Im sorry if this is the wrong board to post this in but I’d really appreciate hearing from others with kind words on how to just be ok with this now. I can’t hope and try anymore.

Have you tried IVF? One of my old bosses had success with IVF eventually in her 40s after two failed attempts.

Hi OP, have you heard of Gateway women? I think that finding a community of childless women may help you:
https://gateway-women.com

Hi OP. I started trying for a baby when I was 39. Had multiple miscarriages and 4 rounds of IVF (which all failed either totally or ended in miscarriage). I accepted at 43.5 that it wouldn’t happen. I’m now 45 and it hasn’t really got easier mentally yet. I’m hoping it will in a few more years…. If not I will just live with it. There’s not really any other option unfortunately. I avoid pregnant women and babies where I can, but when I have no choice I just suck it up and smile and then cry later. There’s not really anything else I can do. I will just keep plodding along and my husband and I try and do nice things for ourselves where we can.

Hi, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I would recommend getting a second medical opinion—ideally even an online consultation with a reputable clinic that specializes in advanced maternal age and/or unexplained infertility.
A friend of mine had success on her second attempt with an IVF clinic in the Czech Republic. Her previous treatments in her home city had failed because she was misdiagnosed, and her Hashimoto’s condition was missed.