TTC after neonatal death + TAC

[NphysT]

Hi all, currently on my period and this is the 1st month we are ttc after our son died in the nicu last year after being born prematurely. I have recently had a transabdominal cerclage which should help to prevent our next baby from being born prematurely but I am a bundle of anxiety. Anyone else ttc after loss wanting to just form a little group of support?

I’m so sorry for you loss. 💔 This is our first month trying after an unexplained 20 week loss and feeling very similar. The idea of just hoping for a different outcome is really scary.

Sorry for your loss. Its so terrifying isnt it. Are you tracking ovulation or just not preventing? When I got pregnant with my son it was straight away but I feel like it wont be the case this time round due to me having pcos

A bit of both I suppose. I haven’t tracked properly because we were just going to see what happen this month but I’ve spent enough time ttc in the past to pretty much know when I’m ovulating. I’m really lucky to already have a 3 year old who took a really long time to conceive and then the baby that we lost took a few months too. I’ve definitely gone straight to obsessing this time and all my hopes of just relaxing about it for a bit are well and truly gone.

What about you? Terrifying is definitely the right word. I hope you’ve got some good support, I can’t imagine the additional worry you must be feeling.

That's same for me. That even without tracking I pretty much know when I'm ovulating from ttc in the past but think this month I will go in with the ovulation tests as an extra since it worked in the past. Also definitely obsessing and kind of gone on my flo app and predicted due date/c-section dates for if I get pregnant over the next 3 months.

My husband is very supportive but we're otherwise keeping it all to ourselves. I can't help but think it won't happen quickly for us this time though. How about you? Do you have a good support system in place?

Similar really, we haven’t told anyone that we’re trying. I think family expect it but that almost makes it worse in a way! I know if we are lucky enough to fall pregnant again they’re just going to be delighted and excited and not really understand why we’re so anxious. They’re all very much of the opinion it will be fine next time.

Oh and totally with you on obsessing over future due dates! Also when scans would likely be!