So a friend has offered her DH's sperm......

[Buda]

Background:

Impotent infertile DH, one DS from IVF, have tried again but failed. Am 44 and overweight. A friend (adopted) has offered her eggs or her DH's sperm - with his approval - they have 3 DCs and don't want any more.

Initial idea is a turkey baster scenario.

They are both OK with it but I haven't mentioned it to my DH really - he is also adopted and has previously been ok with idea of either adoption or egg donation.

Any thoughts?

That's a great idea, it you go on sites such as surrogates uk you will find info in the legalalities of this aswell as info on insems. Goodluck and keep us posted as to what you decide.
XXX.

I know someone who got pregnant first month of trying turkey baster style, although she used much small syringes and her own DH's sperm.

what an offer !!

you need to talk it all through there will be huge emotional ramifications .. but they are amazing friends to make the offer..

Message withdrawn

It's a huge huge decision. She mentioned egg donation to me a while ago but unfortunately at 40 she is deemed as too old and it is illegal here anyway. She then jokingly offered me her DH's sperm (and his body!!) but last night she brought it up again and we had a long chat about it - fuelled by much wine it has to be said.

She says she doesn't have any issues with knowing that her DC's potential half-sibling would be wandering around - she says that as she is adopted she may very well have half-siblings that she knows nothing about and has no desire to. My DH is the same.

I had sort of come to accept only have one child at this stage. IVF here is not very user friendly - Hungarians are a hard race and there is no tlc involved although my doctor was very nice. I am only now realising what an impact my last attempt had on me. It was pretty degrading really.

Pruners - sympathies to you too. It is very hard isn't it? And others seem to do it with ease!

Wow! What an amzing friend. I think you all need to talk about this in the cold light of day and also have legal documents drawn up etc. Is she Hungarian or British?

Yes - we said last night that if my DH was ok with the idea we would all sit down and discuss properly. They are both British.

We have a child through DI (from a donor, not a friend). It has worked out really well for us, but I think that you need to sit down and discuss all the possible ramifications of having a child this way. It can bring up all sorts of emotions, and the time to go through them is before the child is conceived, not when you're pregnant or have a newborn.
The book that we really liked was Helping the Stork. It's written by a couple who have donor children and a counsellor. Some of the practical stuff isn't relevant as it's from the USA, but all the emotional stuff was spot on for us.

Thanks hiding - I will have a look at that.