New Baby announcements are triggering

[sunshinecitrus1]

We are on month 7 of TTC our second baby and I’m finding the journey quite mentally hard at this stage, stuck in a constant loop of hope and disappointment. I’ve been doing quite good over the last week or so as I’m coming up to the fertile window so it’ll be another month for us to try and I’ve been getting on with life while I’ve been waiting but I’ve just seen a baby announcement for one of my old friends and it just triggers me every time! It has completely ruined my mood today, am I a bad person!? It could have been a friend or a stranger but I find it so hard to see these posts!

I took on a second job which I will have been doing 3 years in June to save up enough money for possible maternity leave for baby number 2 and I just find it so frustrating that it hasn’t happened yet for us. I know we don’t know how long everyone’s journey has taken to conceive before they announce their new baby or complications they ran into along the way to get there but I just feel like everywhere I look there are new babies!

I don’t know what I want from this post, I just want to vent I guess x

This brings back memories. It took us years of dashed hopes, repeated loss, IVF (privately) before our miracle baby.

Eventually just going to the stores to do the weekly shop was difficult because we'd see so many young families and newborns. We developed so many unhealthy coping mechanisms along the way. Seriously, some of the things we'd think would have got us killed in some cultures.

I think it's because if you're actively trying to conceive and it doesn't happen or you miscarry, it's all too easy to let it consume you, so you end up noticing all the babies and young families that you didn't really take much notice of before.

You have all my sympathies with this, it's extremely hard to cope with sometimes.

As an aside, about 3 weeks before I'm due to start my leave, my boss tells me they're going to be a parent for the first time in August having skipped the years of hell that my DH and I went through. Even though we got there in the end after so much misery, knowing that someone else not only got pregnant on the first try AND has already made it to the 2nd trimester with no problems is quite enraging.

Don't feel bad about venting and I can't stress this enough, you are NOT a bad person. You're going through a very difficult time that should be one of the most exciting times of your life. There are lots of couples who have gone through and/or are going through the same thing as you xx

Social media is such a cesspit for this. Can you take a break from it for a while? I recommend doing that for your own sanity.

Please never give up and I wish you all the best of the best xx

Agree. I had a miscarriage and the announcements when we were a year in made me weepy. But that was on me. I took a social media break. Of course I was pleased for people, but it's complicated

I already have children as well but have been trying for over a year now for another one. It doesnt matter how many kids you have, when you want to have a baby and its not happening then for some reason everyone around you is getting pregnant and all the baby stuff goes on sale and you see babies everywhere. My friend had a baby for a very ridiculous reason and she spends more time handing her off where ever possible and have her kids raise her baby because the reason why she had the baby didnt work out and I think to myself, I would give anything to have another baby and how can someone have a baby so easy for the reasons she had but someone who gives her entire life to her children cant extend her family. Iv had so far 6 cancelled cycles for various reasons, 2 egg collections and 3 transfers, one was a chemical, one didnt stick and the other was a mc at 7 weeks.

@YorkshireGoldDrinker Thank you for sharing your story with me and I am so so pleased that it worked out for you eventually 😊 You’re so right it is completely consuming… Each month I try my hardest to keep my mind busy on other things but it’s always there in the back of my mind you know? I’m really focused on trying to make it as less stressful for my own mental state at the moment and over the last couple of months it has been better… I no longer temp all month (just to confirm ovulation), I’ve just tweaked little things like that so it consumes me less. I agree on the social media thing… I am not on social media very often, now and again I just go on there and have a look and today my old friends announcement was just there so bad timing on my part! I’ve just got to try and focus on our journey and no one elses x

@Mt563 Thank you, yes definitely complicated! I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I hope it worked out for you in the end.

@Miraclemuma03 100% agree that even if you already have children, there is no turning off that desire for another one if that’s what you want. Stories like your friend really frustrate me too… I just think life can be very unfair sometimes and it feels like some people are handed things on a plate (in this case children) and they don’t realise how blessed and lucky they are! Wishing you all the best with your journey, fingers crossed for positive news soon x