Looking for some positive stories after mmc

[Angeleyes15]

As the title says really. Finally managed to conceive dc2 after 8 months, during which time I found out I have mild endo and mild hydrosalpinx. Went to an early scan today and found out the foetus stopped growing at 5+5 (currently 9+5) not sure of next steps. Maybe a d&c, I’ll find out next week when we go for the 2nd scan.
worried it’s my age, 39. Worried it’s its the endo or blocked tube. Looking for some pragmatic advice and positive stories.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had 2 missed miscarriages whilst trying to conceive baby no.2.

For next steps, you'll be given 4 options (wait for a natural miscarriage, pills to take, d&c, and surgery). I highly recommend the surgery, it's far kinder mentally. Mmc1 I tried waiting for over 3 weeks and nothing happened, the pills were traumatic, the surgery was very straightforward).

I'm 36, i had the first mmc when I was 34 and the second when I was 35. From my understanding the quality of our eggs reduces with age so when we conceive over 35 there's a higher likelihood of miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities. Each time we ttc we are rolling the dice as to whether the egg is a good one or not. I don't want to downplay it, I'm just trying to be factual. I'm still ttc but hoping my odds of a healthy pregnancy are higher next time. Unfortunately I wasn't given an answer for either of mine, was told it's just one of those things.

Hi @Angeleyes15

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, the wait is agonising waiting for that next confirmation scan.

The next step would be what @ThatMintMember has said to who I’m also sorry to hear of your losses.

I do have a positive story through if your happy to read it, I’ll try keep it short as I can.
Me and my husband tried for 5 years, in this 5 years we had a year of fertility treatment for my pcos (jun 2023- july 2024) and 2 miscarriages, first mc was sept 2023 (after our 2nd round of letrozole from fertility clinic) I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks.
My 2nd miscarriage was Jan 2025 I’d fell pregnant without treatments but it ended up a missed miscarriage very similar to yourself, stopped growing at about 5/6 weeks but I was 9 weeks when we found out. I opted for medical management as I didn’t want to wait for it to happen but also didn’t want surgery just personal preference, the medication gave me uncontrollable shakes for 30mins after the first dose, I needed to take a second round of medication to start the bleeding, the cramps were very bad but only initially. I had great support for my husband, family and my close friends.
So we were still on the long waiting list for ivf and June last year I found out for a 3rd time I was pregnant (same week I got a call to say the clinic were ready to get us booked in for ivf) the anxiety that filled me was unreal but fast forward to now that pregnancy was healthy and my little one will be 3 weeks old tomorrow and he’s currently sleeping on me as I write this out.
I’ve been crying with joy these last few weeks looking at him thinking back to when I’d say to my husband do you think we will be lucky enough to have a baby, he would always say yes we will get there, but the doubts I would have were heavy. I feel so blessed, each loss and negative test month after month brought us closer to him🩵 and now I can finally make some sense of all the hurt we went through. I am currently 34, nearly 35 and my hubby is 38.
I took a lot of vitamins over the years to help fertility and egg health one being CoQ10, and changed my lifestyle just eating healthier and some resistance training, cutting out caffeine in the hope that it all helped.

I also had the HyCoSy the dye to see if tubes are blocked through the fertility clinic.
If you haven't already it could be worth a chat to your gp if it’s been longer than 6 months ttc see if there is anything they can help with.

For where you are currently choose the option whether waiting naturally, meditation or surgery is the better choice for you, there’s no right or wrong. It’s devastating and I’m so sorry 💔

Sending you strength and love to get through this and I hope one day you’ll be sharing your positive story. 💛xx

hello OP, sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s heart breaking.

I had an MMC age about 32 at 11 weeks, I started bleeding… the foetus had died some weeks before. Also had endo and it had taken months to conceive already. I was devastated and very worried I might never have a baby.

I took the pill at home instead of being in hospital. I just wanted to be at home anyway, I took the week off work and tried not to stress about the what ifs.

We did eventually conceive the following year after we started to really look after ourselves, we also used this as an excuse to get massages, and take holidays - and we went on to have two brilliant children.

Wishing you all the best OP.

Wow, thank you so much guys for responding. Really kind of you. I think it’s hit me a bit more today.

@ThatMintMember yes, you’re right, I knew it would take a little longer this time because of my age, egg quality (low end of normal due to endo) and possible blocked tube. Wishing you baby dust soon. I’m thinking because the pole is only measuring 5.5 weeks, it’s really a chemical, which reassures me it was chromosomal.

@LittleLemonPie i too am thinking about medical intervention, as nothing has happened for a month now. My boss has been really good and given me the week off.
Your story gives me hope and feel so happy for you that you got there in the end. I can see how every loss led you to your boy 💙

@TwingoNapa thanks for your advice, did you do anything about the endo in order to get pregnant? We have a 2.5 yr old, so we haven’t been looking after ourselves that well. I’ve put on a bit weight (still normal bmi) so looking forward to getting back to me normal size. Partner is aware he needs to shape up too. Before we got pregnant, we found out he had low ish sperm motility, but were recommended vitamins to help with this.

thank you once again for responding. I know miscarriages are so common, but it doesn’t stop it being painful. I’m sorry for your losses 💛💛💛

So sorry you’re going through this. I had one a couple of years ago at 12 week scan (after seeing a perfect heartbeat at 7 weeks) and it was the worst thing that ever happened to us.

One good thing I learned is that a missed miscarriage is more likely to be a random chromosomal abnormality rather than a problem with your hormones/uterus etc, so less likely to be repeated.

I had the surgery (which I’d recommmend, all over so quickly and you skip the pain). Got a period back 2 months later and conceived our wonderful son 3 months after that. Lovely easy pregnancy and birth with no issues.

I now can’t imagine a world where I hadn’t had the miscarriage because we wouldn’t have our son.

Really hope next few months go ok for you. You’ll get through it x

Such a lovely story. And a lovely sentiment that it led you to your boy.

Thank you x

I had a MMC at 12 weeks. I found it so incredibly hard & actually now, 5 years later I realise that I was in such a dark hole. It was my first pregnancy & I was so petrified that it was my only chance to be pregnant.
I got pregnant again a year later & my rainbow was born exactly a month before my fist due date. She is now 3 & is my shining star. There is always hope, and there is light at the end of the darkness. Allow yourself time to grieve & remember always, I never forget my first pregnancy & should have 2 babies, as it is I am one and done because I can never risk putting myself back in that headspace.
The Worst Girl Gang Ever saved me - so many amazing mothers with stories to hear & just a really supportive space for when I went through it.