What is wrong with me?

[ccxo]

Hey ladies 🤍

I am now onto cycle 28 of TTC, I am 31 and my partner is 34 and we have had 6 early losses. I have had gynaecologist input which they’ve said in basic terms that I no longer meet NHS requirements as I am getting pregnant and therefore I am not infertile and instead I am in the ‘unexplained’ category as all our tests and investigations have shown no cause for our issue and been told to keep trying for another year and then refer back to them if no pregnancy. We went to a private clinic who prescribed cyclogest 400mg x2 daily 2 days past a positive LH test and baby aspirin 3DPO and we are now entering cycle 3 of using this with no luck.
I am genuinely at a loss now as to what is wrong with me and why I cannot sustain a pregnancy past 5/6 weeks. What options do I have now? Does anybody else have any suggestions or advice, what worked for them? Any input would honestly be greatly recieved. Thank you ✨✨

Sorry OP, I know how hard this can be. 6 early losses is really bloody tough.

What tests has your partner had?

Every month is getting harder and I am at the point of now thinking, do I just give up and accept it isn’t meant to be?
He’s had a sperm analysis which showed he had ‘super sperm’ as he likes to call it! We are looking into DNA fragmentation as our private clinic suggested this. X

You're only 31. Would it be an idea to have a break and forget about ttc for a few months and see how you feel? Although I know you can't really "forget" .

I've not been in your situation exactly so hoping someone can come along with advice!

I agree, 31 is young in the grand scheme of things and maybe ‘stopping trying’ is what my mental health needs more than anything! Thank you, I appreciate you for replying x

Have you been prescribed progesterone to possibly help sustain the pregnancy further along?

no advice I’m afraid, but I’m in a similar position so hope you don’t mind if I join! We’re about 1.5years into ttc number 2 and had 4 early losses, got a phone appt with gynocology on Wednesday but not feeling overly hopeful!

Have you had a pregnancy since being prescribed the cyclogest and baby aspirin? These will help sustain a pregnancy once one has started, but they won't help you conceive initially.

If this is three cycles with these drugs without a positive test then I would keep trying, as once you fall pregnant again these drugs really might make the difference and see you over the 5-6 week line. Often the progesterone can make all the difference.

I understand how this feels, I've had multiple losses myself and am now doing IVF. I must politely disagree with the poster who said at your age you could take a break etc. It is obviously your choice, but I'm now 33 after trying for 3 years, IVF takes a while to get going and if this ends up being your path you will wish you hadn't taken a break. That's obviously just my opinion and experience but im glad I haven't taken a break as it's taken a long time to get to where I am, and I still don't have a living child.

Have you had blood tests for TSH and other thyroid function ?

It may also be worth getting immune testing done

Hi OP. Sorry that sounds really hard. I also think stopping for a bit would be good for you on many levels (you can still have sex without protection but no pressure etc)

I might recommend a Naturopath because although expensive they go into such a holistic assessment and do often spot things (like toxins or psychological issues or things that seem unrelated) that other medical professionals just won't look for

Another question is the psychological - have you has therapy etc and really explored how you feel about having a baby right now in this situation. I have heard of cases (in Womens Bodies; Womens wisdom - amazing book) where a womans body rejects pregnancy and actually deep down after introspection she finds that she doesn't feel safe with that man and her body knew it's not right. Obvs no idea if that is you but just interesting to explore I guess if you are really not sure whats the issue.

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, may be an amazing book (sounds like a load of hippy shit to me, but taste is subjective) - but to insinuate that perhaps OP has lost six babies thanks to the body's 'magic intuition' that she'e with the wrong man, is one of the most tactless and insulting things I have read in a long time.

If a woman body rejected pregnancy due to being with a man she didn't feel safe with, there wouldn't be women trapped in domestic abuse with children.

What a ridiculous statement.

Therapy is great for many things, but it isn't famously known for helping sustain a pregnancy into the second trimester. Progesterone on the other hand, has a great reputation for that.

My friend who had multiple miscarriages (14!) had a problem with her killer cells? I can’t remember exactly but basically her body attacked the embryo thinking it was an infection? Have you had tests for anything like that? Sorry to be so hazy on the details! It all ended well, she has a beautiful little girl.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I know
your pain.

I had miscarriages in the double figures, I was also a case of “unexplained”, progesterone and aspirin were prescribed and genetic testing was done on the babies, me and my husband and all come back fine.

I fell pregnant again in August 2022 and carried a healthy baby girl until 39 weeks, she is 3 in May. Nothing different in that pregnancy to most of my others, progesterone and aspirin but I’d done that with 5 I’d lost previously.

I lost one more pregnancy then gave birth to a healthy baby boy at 39.5 weeks in September last year, he’s almost 6 months old and healthy. Again, nothing special for this pregnancy other than aspirin and progesterone.

My specialist said that sometimes this is just the way it is, as hard as it is to accept, for whatever reason sometimes it is unexplained and heartbreaking as it was in our case.

I just wanted to give you some hope, we nearly gave up but we now have 2 beautiful healthy children. I’m sending you all the love and luck in the world for a healthy pregnancy and baby xx

Edited to add, my DD was born 2 weeks before my 30th and I was 32 when DS was born.

You might want to run those comments through in your own head before posting - it might make you realise how ridiculous and frankly tone deaf you are sounding 👍🏼

OP, I am sorry you are going through this and I can identify somewhat with what you are going through having lost three consecutive pregnancies when trying to have a second baby.

@ccxo have you had a recurrent loss panel? What tests/ scans have you had so far?

Hey ladies, sorry for the really late replies. I’ve been taking some time out just to kind of relax and see what options I had.
I agree with a lot of the comments about not trying etc but I feel guilty that if I didn’t try that month and didn’t conceive then I’ve wasted a month, which I know is silly as I am only 31 and there’s plenty of time, but I feel like time isn’t on my side and I don’t want to waste my ‘prime’ as such! 🥺
I am very very happy and in the safest relationship I have ever been and I would never ever bring a baby into this world knowing it wouldn’t be loved and in a stable happy family, but I understand your comment and I appreciate your concerns! ☺️
I have had APS testing and also we’ve both had karyotyping, both of which were recommended from the recurrent loss team however no issues came from them either. I have had repeated ultra sound scans (internal) both 3D and normal and again, no issues. I’ve had a full blood panel and except my AMH which is on the lower side of normal there’s no obvious issues. My partners sperm analysis was really good although we haven’t had the DNA fragmentation done but we’re doing an antioxidant supplement regime to hopefully reverse any issues that may be there.
I’ve fallen once on the first cycle of aspirin and progesterone which I was the furthest along in any of the other previous losses so I do believe the progesterone helped massively.
I am really hoping and praying that it is just timing thing and my time will come, this cycle I’m a lot more relaxed and calm so I hope along with the medications and the supplements we’ll get out little rainbow baby!
honestly, thank you everybody for your replies and support - it’s really helpful to see from other people’s perspective ✨🤍🌈