Preparation

[Thislifeofours]

I’m not sure if this is the right place for this thread so please shout if it would be more appropriate elsewhere.

I am aware that I am a total control freak and plan everything to the absolute smallest detail. Trying to conceive is no different and it’s been decades of discussion, consideration and thought that had led us to the decision to ttc in around 2 years. The plan is for 2026 to be our year to make lifestyle changes and get healthy with 2027 being the year we finally try to start our family.

We are taking the supplements/ vitamins, eating healthy and exercising. What else am I missing? Anything you wish you had known about?

I'd suggest figuring out your cycle so you have a good idea of when you're most likely to get pregnant. Cycle length, what day you ovulate, etc. I tried about 9 months to get pregnant the first time but I was missing all the best days, realistically there's only about 5 or 6 days that you can get pregnant in a month so find out which ones if you want it to happen quickly. You can track your cycle on some apps such as Premom, you can also do ovulation tests to pinpoint when you ovulate.

How old are you OP? 'decades of discussion' suggests perhaps slightly older, in which case a whole year to get healthy might be overkill...unless you have an unbelievably unhealthy lifestyle.

All you really need to do is take folic acid and vitamin d about three months before you start trying. I agree with above poster you could also use cheap LH strips to pin point when you ovulate and that'll give you the best chance to do it at the right time when it does come time to start trying.

However words of advice from one control freak to another, TTC is one of those things that you genuinely cannot 100% control. You could do everything 'right' and part of it is still down to luck each month. So try to be kind to yourself and not get too obsessed over everything or it will ruin the whole experience. I hope you see I mean this kindly and from experience!

Best of luck x

As PP has said - TTC is a funny one when it comes to control. You can do everything right and still take a long time, or have issues or losses. Generally speaking eating a balanced diet, being a healthy weight, not smoking and limit alcohol, and 3+ months of Folic acid and vitamin D is all you really need to do.

And definitely get to know your cycle - you can monitor for a few months using ovulation tests and if your cycle is regular then great! You can have sex every other day during the appropriate time. If it's not regular, you may wish to continue using the ovulation tests whilst actively trying, so you can pinpoint your fertile window and give yourselves the best shot.

As someone who has had a horribly long and complex journey TTC so far, I'd say if you're in a good place now (which it sounds like you are) you don't need a year of prep work, unless life things mean you don't want to conceive this year. Knowing what I know now I'd get going sooner just in case it's not the quickest for you. Xx

Is this something I can do whilst on birth control pills? I was under the impression I don’t actually ovulate at the moment!

Mid 30s so not a spring chicken 😂 we were very young teens when we got together!

DH smokes and I’m overweight so we definitely need this year to get healthy. I also have a very stressful job and I’d like to work on managing that this year. Another year of experience would make me feel a bit better about taking maternity leave.

Taking on board all the advice about the control element of this process. I think I could do with working on that across the board. It would certainly help my stress levels at work!

No I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work. You could come off the pill and do natural family planning (to avoid getting pregnant) and let your hormones settle. That's what I'm currently doing in the run up to TTC again. It works really well at preventing pregnancy once you know your cycle.

I do also agree with the above poster. TTC can be unpredictable, I took 9 months to conceive had my first and had a successful pregnancy but I've had 2 missed miscarriages in the last 2 years whilst trying to have a 2nd baby (I'm 36 and feel like I'm starting to run out of time, sort of wish I'd started trying earlier in my 30's).