TTC no 3 - is it mad to miss any chances?

[Laurabeee]

I am interested to know what others would do in my situation. I am extremely fortunate to have two children born Sep 2023 and April 2025.

I would love to have a third child but I am 38 in June so I don’t have forever to try.

prior to first DC I had three very early miscarriages which sent me into a panic about whether I would ever have children. The second one was conceived easily.

ideally I would wait until the summer/later this year to TTC but I am so worried about missing chances.
my reasons for delaying are -

1 financially I have had two mat leaves close together and a bit more space makes nursery fees more affordable
2 I am supposed to wait at least a year after my last section.
3 I already have 2 little ones and I want to be able to enjoy the run up to Christmas with them. I worry it will be hard with a newborn
4 I think I will find having a newborn in winter hard because I don’t have much family support nearby. I need to drive to nursery too.
4 I live in Scotland so a baby conceived in the next few months would be young in their school year

but….I am 38 in June. I have had 2 planned sections and I had miscarriages. I am being silly to delay? I feel like I can’t tell anyone in real life about this. I feel ashamed to be bothered about when a baby is born. I don’t know if other people have these dilemmas

I appreciate a third child can seem like a really luxury when you struggle to have one so not wanting to cause any offence to anyone. I have been in the position of recurrent miscarriages and I know how upsetting it is.

38 is not old anymore @Laurabeee
It might take some time to conceive but you are very likely to conceive within a year of trying IMO.

You're points are all valid, and I guess if you know you want another and feel ready to start trying you could casually try for a few months and see what happens (so not intentionally track ovulation etc).

Personally for me I would opt to wait until til your youngest turns 1 purely because of the weather 😂 I have a March baby and currently pregnant with a June26 baby and I definitely wasn't going to try if my EDD would fall in Nov/Dec. It was super important for me post partum to get out of the house. I did a few short walks every day (with the baby) which would be harder in the bad weather. Also even just with my toddler I find the darker days really long because it's harder to get out and he's harder to entertain indoors (high energy).

Just my opinion personally!

Thanks for your kind reply. It’s reassuring that someone else feels that way about the winter with a newborn and a toddler!

The risk from the section would be enough for me to wait a bit longer, that’s a risk to you and baby.

I like a winter baby! They’re much more fun in the summers, first summer they can sit outside and be mildly interested by things but can’t run about and eat everything, the second summer they’ve grown out of eating all the stones on the ground and can actually do fun things with the older siblings. Downside is indoor birthdays.

I had a second baby in April 2025 and I'm 38 in May and there is no way I could currently face ttc! Especially having had c sections as it's against medical advice. I think that's your biggest issue here.

If you know you are reasonably fertile I think six months won't make a difference even at 38. If it was your first baby I think the answer would be different as it is more of an unknown.

If I ever decide/ convince DH/ myself on a third it would be when I was 38 or 39 I'd be ttc and just let the chips fall where they may.

I would wait an extra 6 months personally

Thank you for the replies. I thought everyone would tell me I am running out of time so it reassuring to hear that others would wait a bit longer too.

A child born April 2025 is not long ago honestly regardless of your age, ideally it is best to leave at least 12-18 months for healing and mental recovery.

I am turning age 37 this year but still choosing to wait until I am 37.5 and daughter is aged 2 as that just feels right to me. I am not going to rush purely because of my age.

@Laurabeee Women have kids into early 40s nowadays with little struggles often. It might take slightly longer to conceive than your previous pregnancies, and the hospital will call it a "geriatric" pregnancy but you are by no means ready for the scrap heap yet!

On a side note the idea of a baby born summer time worrying about baby overheating. Being hot while pregnant or with a newborn not ideal for me. I actually like an Autumn/Winter time for newborn. Didn't stop me going outside as long as not pouring with rain. I actually don't enjoy going out for walks when it is very hot out.

I had a baby May 2025 (less than 2 years after the previous one) and I could not be fathoming another pregnancy and baby now. I really think another 6/9 months would buy you so much more health, mental headspace, sleep, reset and recovery