Severely obese, 2 miscarraiges, should I go on ozempic before TTC again?

[Helpneeded719]

Hello everyone, name change for this post as it is very personal.
I am 34 years old, I have had 2 miscarraiges - one chemical at 5 weeks and one mmc at 9/10 weeks there had been a heartbeat previous to the loss, I sadly have no living children.

Myself and DH are DESPERATE for a baby, all blood work came back as normal in regard to the pregnancy losses, we didnt do any further investigations. I dont have any underlying health conditions, however I am extremely unfit and morbidly obese (BMI of 46 I think).

I am only just 5 foot but weigh 17 stone and honestly eating what are "regular" portions of food for most people make me gain weight, I have to starve to get to a healthy weight, I then struggle to keep it off. Have a generally ok diet each loads of vegetables, fruit etc. But weight just does not come off easily for me at all, I do have quite a large appetite and I do struggle with emotional/boredom eating too. My doctor has said the whole eat less move more just simply does not work for people with genetic predisposition to being heavier etc. So its just not that simple for me unfortunately (trust me I have tried)

My dilemma is do I try to get maybe 2 stone off over the next 3 months by myself via eating a banana, a healthy oat cereal bar and a smaller portion of a homemade, healthy & nutritious dinner every day - will be a struggle to stick to it but this is all I can eat to actually loose weight, and then try again for a baby ASAP, BMI will still be well into the severely obese category

or do we take a break from trying for 9 months, I start on ozempic for 6 months, loose weight, stop for 3 months as recommended and then TTC again when at a healthier weight? This option seems so tough mentally as we are so desperate to have a child of our own. But I need to think about what is best for both my own health and that of a future pregnancy.

How much of a struggle would pregnancy be for me at my current weight? 5 foot and 17 stone, I do have hip pain and am very out of breath walking up a stairs. What are the chances my weight contributed to my miscarraiges?
Other side of the story is waiting another 9 months at my age to TTC ill be 35/36 when baby is born.

Really struggling with the decision, my GP hasn't brought up my weight and just said I shouldn't find reasons to blame myself for the miscarraiges when I asked.
Has anyone any advice? What is likely to be worse being obese or being older when TTC?
I had no issue falling pregnant but both pregnancies have sadly ended in loss.

Thank you if you've gotten this far xx I am terribly ashamed about my weight and fitness levels, it is something that causes me a great deal of emotional upset and shame. But I have my reasons of why Im here so I really dont need any lectures or shaming, please, as I really have beaten myself up enough over it for us all,
Thank you x

Sorry for your losses. I have two DC and my BMI was around 50 when I had both of them. It wasn’t great, but neither were planned. If I had my time again I’d try to loose weight first. I’m only two months in on WLI but they’re working really well for me. You’ve got a bit of time so I’d probably take a break from TTC, lose some weight and then try again in your shoes. (I was 36 and 39 when I had mine). Best of luck OP ❤️

Are you absolutely sure the problem is you? Has your DH had any investigations?

If you eat generally healthily, I don't think obesity on its own is a showstopper. Obviously it doesn't help, but I don't think it's catastrophic. It's not like you smoke and drink all day every day. But if you do, please stop!

I wish you all the best OP.

mounjaro can be life changing, why not try?

Sorry to hear about your struggles and losses. I'd be getting proper advice to loose weight safely. Have you had your thyroid/bloods checked and checks for PCOS? Kindly, if you are already struggling with hip pain and shortness of breath now, how will you cope with the additional weight of a term baby or chasing a toddler? I'd be losing weight as a priority for your own health- then TTC as a 2nd priority.

Being overweight, let along obese, can have a massive affect on fertility. You aren't just in the obese range, you are severely obese. One thing you may not be aware of is that you should be taking 5mg of folic acid, not the 400cmg over the counter one. You can get a script for the stronger on or buy online.

Yes, there are woman who are larger who have healthy babies, but there are many more than have issues such as pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes and a multitude of other health issues which aren't helping a pregnancy. x

I struggled to lose weight on one healthy meal a day. Weight kept going up. I started on Mounjaro last March and have lost 4.5 stone. Still doing the same one meal a day. So l 100% believe that there are biological reasons for obesity.

If I was you I would take a year off trying to conceive and use that year to get a healthy BMI.

Would be good to focus on yourself before you need to focus on a baby.

So sorry for your losses. At 35 you can push for investigation for your miscarriages in some UK areas. I recommend you push for a referral so they can be investigated. Very very very overweight women have babies without having issues. My weight was ‘blamed’ as a potential cause for my miscarriages. Turned out to be a clotting condition and I could have been 8 stone and would still have had them, and if I’d gone away to lose weight instead of getting blood tests then I’d have carried right on having miscarriages.

2 miscarriages isn’t that common. Not as common as people would have you believe. 40% of women who have 2 miscarriages go on to have a 3rd. That’s a very high proportion of women who have underlying conditions causing their miscarriages, most of which won’t be to do with weight. Many countries do test after 2 miscarriages because they know it can be indicative of genetics, clotting, autoimmune conditions etc.

The one thing I would do now if you aren’t already is ask your doctor to prescribe the higher dose of folic acid. It won’t prevent miscarriage but it’s recommended for pregnant women if your BMI is over 35. It can’t hurt losing weight in the meantime, for your health and wellbeing. This is not your fault though. Miscarriage is cruel and unfair, and it’s most likely it was nothing to do with your weight

OP, please talk to your GP. Mine is an extreme story but I couldn't scroll by.

I was really overweight (about 120kg, I'm about 5'9") and dieted hard when trying to get pregnant with my daughter. I'd previously had three miscarriages and a healthy pregnancy.

I lost loads of weight, and got pregnant quickly, but the weight loss triggered gallstones during my first trimester, which became acute obstructive pancreatitis during my second trimester and then the pancreatitis caused sepsis during my third trimester. I was in ICU for months 7 and 8 of my pregnancy, and there were times when the medical staff told my husband not to leave the hospital to go home to our 5yo because I was so poorly I might not live the night.

My daughter and I had amazing medical care on the NHS and she was born at term, healthy but very, very small (4lb 9oz). It took me more than a year to make a full recovery and I spent a week away from her in hospital having my gallbladder out, the month after she was born.

Rapid weight loss brings its own risks. Please check your plans with someone medically qualified to advise.

It's your body so you can do what you like.

I always struggled with my weight. I was pretty big in both pregnancies

I was "old and fat" with both kids
I was 5"3 and 16.5 stone giving birth amd 14/15 stone when getting pregnant.
I conceived no problems, so on its on own i dont think its deal breaker.

Given how new MJ &co are i wasnt prepared to take it pre kids justttt in case.

In your shoes -
he needs fertility tests, you get some basic bloods done (including your thyroid)
I'd go on a high protein, low carb diet and up the steps I wouldnt go on a big crash diet

^And a full clotting work up checking for both platelet and coagulant factors, along with Vitamin B and D deficiency. So many factors at play, weight is just one in isolation x

Sorry for your losses OP. I had 2 MCs as well before having my daughter, I’m a healthy weight and no conditions. You can’t blame yourself for things like this. I would think that regardless of your TTC though, pregnancy and being a mum of a newborn, baby, active toddler etc is going to be much easier on your body with less weight.

Hi there @Helpneeded719

First I am so sorry to hear of your two losses 💕

I feel like I could of near enough wrote your post from my last few years.
I am also 34, I’m 5ft 2 and at my heaviest was up at 15st 7lbs. Yoyo dieted etc on and off all my life. Starved my self, did crazy diets, emotional eater etc.

me and my hubby were ttc for the last 5 years with 2 losses and had a year of fertility treatment near the end of those 5 years, while waiting for IVF we were 3rd time lucky and were due our little miracle in 4 weeks time!

I have PCOS- So from what I feel like personally has helped me is I went back to basics, I used my fitness pal and calorie counted everything that went in my mouth (for me I started at 1400 cals) had high protein meals (so many ideas on TikTok and instagram fitness pages) I started walking and weight lifting just at home with 5kg dumbbells- I followed heather Robertson YouTube videos did 3 a week and Aimed for 10000 steps a day. I built myself up to this. Heather Robertson has lots of different workouts and I really like her videos!

I know everyone is different, but over time I increased my weights and the more muscle you have the more calories you burn and every few months i slowly increased my calories and would still lose weight.
I stopped getting disheartened when I didn’t see the scale move and started focusing on how I felt physically and mentally.
I also did meditation to help my mind set and did cold plunges lol.
I honestly believe making the lifestyle changes add up to more success and sustainable habits than crash diets, getting rid of the all or nothing mindset was a massive help for me! Takes time to learn but it helped me so much! No restrictions just things in moderation and so important discipline over motivation!!
With the injections I don’t know much about them but personally I’d feel worried they would possibly disrupt your hormones for ttc.
But i totally get why you’d feel that would help, I know a few people who have used it but I don’t see them learning the life long dietary habits and exercising to keep the weight off but that will be individual choice.

I was heavier with my first mc and then at my lightest fittest self a year ago with my 2nd mmc so I don’t believe your weight has anything to do with it so please don’t blame yourself ❤️
I can see your feeling of urgency given your age and weight loss can take time.
Personally the way I was doing it, I did it while ttc, where as the injections you would want to put ttc on hold.
I remember feeling so ashamed of myself that’s why I preferred working out at home, I even got a walking pad to walk indoors too! From starting my weight loss journey for fertility treatment which was what gave me a boot up the arse I started at 13.7st and lost 4 stone in space of a year doing what I explained.
I think being bigger and pregnant my make it harder but also I may not.
Theres so much more I could explain but typing it all is hard lol plus I don’t want to make this any longer than for you to read.

I hope this may have been even a small amount of help, I know how hard it is making that first step, but if you have a good solid reason for it which for me and sounds like for you…a baby, it’s such a good motivation to get healthy.

Im not a professional or anything by any
beans but if you want to ask me to explain something to make more sense then just lease do.

How long have you been ttc? X

Thank you so much for sharing. Did you find pregnancy and birth difficult if you dont mind me asking? I do worry a bit about my hips in regard to pain, I appreciate your advice so so much!
Thank you again

No I dont smoke or drink at all, and Im not sure the problem is me but I suppose im secretly blaming myself. DH has had tests and he did have high blood pressure which we were not aware of when TTC which is now under control but everything else was fine, he hasn't had semen analysis yet but he is happy to if they suggest it.
My worry is would my body be able for pregnancy as im so unfit I suppose, I had none of these concerns pre pregnancy loss but I suppose it has made me doubt myself and my abilities x

I had a MMC when I was 28, I’m average height and weighed 9 stone. Exercised and ate healthy and it still happened so I wouldn’t blame your weight. Although being healthier and loosing some will definitely help you when you get pregnant and when baby is here. Good luck x

Thank you for sharing and wow you went through a lot. I am so sorry to hear of your losses and for what you went through with the pregnancy. I had no idea this could happen to be honest.
How much weight did you loose? And would you have had the gallstones previous to falling pregnant? I really appreciate your advice. Thank you

Thank you so much! This is all so helpful and yes im also extremely worried about weight loss injections and any possible side effects on hormones or ttc this is why ive held off for so long but I guess im just feeling a bit hopeless at the moment.
I will absolutely look up those YouTube videos, I probably do really need a lifestyle overhaul to be honest as I am so unhappy in my job, have a really really stressful job and feel ive lost myself a lot the last couple of years (which hasn't helped my weight situation)
Thank you for all of the advice.
We are on and off TTC since September got pregnant the second cycle then had the chemical, got pregnant again on the 2nd cycle and had the mmc so for the moment we are going to take a couple months break, more so because of sadness and grief and fear I suppose x

I lost 15 kilos in 4 months. It was really fast, no doubt about it - way too fast, I learned.

I think it was the weight loss that triggered the gallstones. It disrupts your body's usual process of producing bile and then everything slows down until stones form.

I am definitely not saying this is common or is a reason not to tackle your weight generally or before becoming pregnant. I just think it's worth getting good advice on how to lose weight promptly but not dangerously fast.

@Helpneeded719 I’m sorry you feel you’ve lost yourself, you sound like you need a massive hug 🤗
Are you able to talk with your partner about all your feelings etc?
I felt like that too a few years ago. If you do decide to try maybe some meditation that can help mentally just even a little bit it’s not a quick fix unfortunately just daily habits.

Also some vitamins I took-
CQ10- good for egg health
Lions main- helps with focus and mental health
Methylated folic acid- ( folic acid the drs give is a synthetic version that only about half of us can absorb, methylated is pure form)
Collegen
British supplements are clean so they are a good website to buy from.
Of course research all them yourself and see what you think.

A break from ttc will hopefully be helpful for you ❤️ I wish you the very best for your future ❤️

I strongly endorse @LittleLemonPie ‘s suggestion of working out to Heather Robertson’s videos with dumbbells. She is excellent! I would just say though, if you’re new to exercise and weight training you may want to start with a lower weight, say 2.5 or 3 kg.

To help improve your general fitness, check out Lucy Wyndham Read, also on YouTube. She has tons of very short and easy workouts, including some sit-down exercises for people who may struggle exercising standing up.

Walking is always good. You can enhance the effect significantly by wearing a weighted vest (3-5 kg), and/or wrist and ankle weights.

With DC1 I had a straight forward pregnancy. He always measured a little small which is common with overweight mothers. He didn’t want to come out so I was induced, had an epidural relatively early on, pain free from there, one stitch after he was born.

DC2 had in uterine growth restriction (he stopped growing). I developed pre eclampsia (which I was told was uncommon if you’ve not had it first time around). I was hospitalised for two weeks before he was born, he was induced at 35 weeks for both our safety (they couldn’t get my blood pressure under control), early epidural again, and a couple of near misses with an EMCS, he was born weighing 1.7kg. It was extremely scary (although again very little pain thanks to the epidural) and he’s perfect now but I still have blood pressure issues (which I’d never had before).

My weight definitely increased my risk of getting pre eclampsia and I also had to inject myself with blood thinners daily during both pregnancies because of the increased risk of blood clots.

I also had some pelvic girdle pain (hip pain) with both pregnancies but it was manageable.

I don’t mean to scare you but in your shoes I’d definitely try and lose some weight first. WLI have been really revolutionary for me.

OP, not much specific advice but I’d recommend this book for the shame you feel
about being overweight: Enough
yes it talks a lot about wli but at the core of it is the fact that obesity is not your fault, and the shame around it. Best of luck x

Thank you so much! This is very helpful and gives me a lot to consider.
Do you mind me asking was your BMI around 50 with both pregnancies or was it lower with the first pregnancy? Sorry for all of the questions just with both my age and BMI it leaves a lot to think about and speaking to someone who has been through it means so much

@Helpneeded719 those injections really help some people to lose weight fast and at 34 you can afford to take some time out of TTC.

Even though most women with a higher BMI will probably be ok it isn't worth the extra risks in terms of pregnancy complications, loss and birth defects if you have the opportunity to get healthy first.

I’m very happy to answer any questions you have - it was around 50 for both, possibly late 40s with the first but there wouldn’t be much in it.

I started WLI seven weeks ago and have lost nearly 3st 🙏

Thank you! Wow thats absolutely amazing, well done. That is a really amazing result