Third child timing

[Mumtomandm]

After any advice for when to TTC for third child. We’ve made the decision we’re leaning in to the chaos and going for a third and it might sound a bit ridiculous given fertility can be so fragile but we’re struggling with when to try.

Context- youngest is 2 (just turned) and oldest is nearly 4. We don’t want a big gap if it can be avoided but equally wanted a slightly bigger gap than 2u2.

Husband is keen to go for sooner (I.e. now) which could see an autumn-winter 2026/27 baby and I keep going back on forth but initially thought waiting until May onwards to try for a spring- summer 2027 baby.

I would be 35 either way- husband would either be nearly 39 or 39.

Reasons to hold fire-

• gives oldest a few months of settling in to first year at school
• can start my youngest at the same school nursery from January 2027 and being on mat leave from after that helps sort drop off pick ups (they don’t do after school club for nursery- only reception onwards)
• I might ask to go back up to 4 days a week from sept (currently on 3) to save a bit of money whilst oldest is out of nursery before mat leave (if boss sees I’m pregnant, will not let me go up a day
• I could potentially enjoy my body for a little longer as I’ve been good with fitness etc so potentially a holiday in May (just a budget eurocamp) where I can enjoy feeling good in a bikini (vain but true) and maybe a few drinks!
• have quite a few people close to me struggling with fertility so waiting later feels like giving them a bit more time to hopefully see some success?!

Reasons to go sooner:

• husband is keen to have a closer age gap of youngest being 3 years older and not much more
• he also doesn’t want to get too close to 40
• it could take us a while (though fell pregnant first time with first and 2nd cycle with second but who knows what might happen)
• would be nice not use condoms for a while!!!
• i get morning sickness so going sooner means I could feel better over summer when we have a hen do in June/a family holiday in July and a wedding in August

I think I struggle with the ovulation deadline every month and it makes me think we need to act now (in ovulation window right now) but logically, I think waiting makes more sense?! Any advice? Anyone maybe been through similar or have three and wish they knew what they know now type of thing?!

thank you!

I think your reasons are based too much on practicality, when the truth is we both know you can't time a baby perfectly. If you start now you could still easily end up taking a few months and have a due date that ticks those boxes anyway.

I think based on your husbands age it would make sense to go for it?

For me it was about not wanting to tip into the next school year, i.e I wanted to start trying for a September due date to give us enough time to hopefully conceive with a due date that would not be after August (if that makes sense?!)

HOWEVER - this is coming from someone who decided to go for a third on NYE (mine are 4.5 and 26m) and I've just had a positive test, so slightly freaking out at the reality! It could be quick, especially based on your first two.

Either way, good luck!

I’d go for it! It’s only a matter of months so don’t think it will make a big difference to the parenting difficulty level. Also, going for it now will mean the baby will be born earlier in the academic year (if you are based in a September start date area) which is always an advantage!

Though can see your point about starting your youngest in pre-school in Jan 2027- maybe split the difference and try to conceive a Jan/ Feb 27 baby?

(I’m in the exact same position you are in, almost 4 year old and a just turned 2 year old and have decided to go for it so think you should too 😂!)

I’m in the same boat as you. My son is 2 in a couple of weeks and my daughter will be 4 in May and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my third!
I’m 34 and it did take a bit longer for us to conceive this time so that’s maybe something to take into consideration. We got pregnant on the first try both times but it took us 5 months this time. Honestly I was getting worried that age maybe wasn’t on our side.
I would just go for it now! Just in case it does take longer than you think xx

Thanks all for responses!! Feels like we’re all kind of in the same boat 😅 some solidarity!!

I think I was looking for an excuse to go for it because I saw the first post (thank you and huge congratulations @Hoplittlesbunnieshophophop ) and it swayed me.. ended up having unprotected sex last night. It’s mad how I’ve overthought this for a while now and it only took a little nudge for me to dive in! My husband can’t keep up with my brain.

I think the fear of it taking longer than I imagined hit me, so let’s see what happens. I figured I wouldn’t be too disappointed if I wasn’t pregnant over the next few months so it takes the pressure off a little.. and if I am, then great! We’ll adapt. Need to start shopping around tor bigger cars though… 👀

Congratulations to you too!! @El91
and amazing @HelloDarknessmyoldfrenemy we’re in this together 😅🤞🏻xx

I think you have to just make a personal choice, as it recently came out that the ideal age gap for everyone’s wellbeing was 5-6 years. And you clearly didn’t want to wait that long.

There’s 4.5 between my first two. I just knew that I didn’t want a 2/3 year old whilst I was pregnant. I needed to be able to lie down and shut my eyes and know my child was safe and happy.
We did start trying just as my youngest came up to 3, but only the once and changed our minds. And thank god, because he went through a crazy (but normal) breastfeeding frenzy at 3.5 that had me climbing the walls lol. But was just a developmental phase.

A little update..

Have had positive pregnancy tests for the last few days (I’ve taken multiple because I can’t quite believe it). So, here we go again! 🤞🏻🙏🏼

Best of luck on your journeys xx

Congratulations!! How lovely!! Best of luck with your pregnancy 🥳 and hope 3 is not too chaotic for all our sakes 😂

Oh congratulations @Mumtomandm ! Just like me it must have happened the night you decided to go for it ....hope the other half is happy, mine looked on the verge of a panic attack when I told him it had happened! 😂

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy x